Episode 6

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Published on:

13th Feb 2025

S1 E6 Airwolf: Instant Winston Churchill

In this episode, the cool girls travel to the Italian Virgin Islands and investigate a murder most foul. There's also a casino in there somewhere.

Join The Discord @ https://discord.gg/MUHKDDk6TN or email us at coolgirlsgoboom@gmail.com

Transcript
Glo:

That's what happens in your

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thirties.

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I think you're not up and

tired for work from partying.

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It's from staying up and

watching presidential debates.

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Beth: Welcome to Cool Girls Don't Look

at Explosions, where we watch dude TV.

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But we do it quickly, because we

were too busy watching Kamala kick

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Trump's ass last night at the debate.

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Glo: Woo.

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Go Kamala.

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Beth: back.

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Laura: I have a confession.

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I wasn't watching the

debate last night, guys.

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I'm so sorry.

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I was playing Minecraft Dungeons.

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Glo: Oh, you could have at least

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said you were studying Laura.

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Laura: I did both,

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actually.

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I studied a bunch and I was like, I

deserve a little Dungeons as a treat.

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Glo: Well, Beth,

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As a former resident of

Ohio, I'm really sorry

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that your people, have let in immigrants

who eat cats and dogs, Laura's face

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Beth: that was actually

said at the debate last

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Laura: I'm

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Beth: It's okay.

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A lot of my friends have

marked their pets safe.

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I

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know, you missed so much.

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Laura: had no idea that The

Ohio, like why Ohio, like it's

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pretty inland is what I'm saying.

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Glo: it's unsubstantiated claims of a

Haitian community, where, boomers are

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like, my dog disappeared and they're

blaming the dark people, of course.

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Laura: Could it be that

you don't fence your yard?

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Glo: Yeah.

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Beth: Yes, having lived in Ohio and

worked at a vet in Ohio, people

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do not fence in their yards or,

track their animals, as, as closely

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as you'd think they

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Laura: yeah,

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I'm not going to throw any stones in

this glass Oklahoma house because we

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are not great at that in this state.

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Glo: So, Laura, are

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you saying Oklahomans eat their pets?

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Laura: No, no,

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no.

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Don't fence our

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yards.

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Beth: the immigrants in Oklahoma eat

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Glo: You heard it here first, folks.

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Yes.

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Yeah.

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Beth: but to, go back so that everybody's

aware of what we're satirizing right

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Laura: yes, please.

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Beth: satirical.

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Glo: Yeah.

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Beth: Last night during the debate,

for real, this is real life, Trump

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said that immigrants were coming

into Ohio and eating people's pets.

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To which Kamala responded by, as we

all would, just busting out laughing.

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Because, like, how do you respond to that?

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Other than,

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Glo: The

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Beth: so

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Glo: memes of her face just do not

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disappoint.

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Laura: I have seen some great expressions.

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Glo: so good.

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Beth: she was all of us.

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She could not control her face.

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And, same.

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Glo: And I loved that she would

just poke him a little bit

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with the crowd size thing.

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And she's like, yeah,

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go to a Trump rally, everybody leaves.

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Beth: Cause they're bored.

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Glo: Yeah,

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Beth: And he, basically we got

to watch him self destruct on the

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stage while she was just like,

she was cool, calm, and collected,

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and

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Laura: right, right.

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Man.

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Can you

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I I just could I one of the reasons

I didn't watch was mental health and

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It's gotta be exhausting and I'm one

of those people, like, if somebody says

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something like truly, truly unhinged, not

like funny unhinged, like we are on this

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Glo: Yeah.

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Laura: but like, I'm worried about you and

my safety around you unhinged, I freeze.

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I don't have the quick

wit response to that.

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I am like.

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And there's just like a secondhand

mortification in that kind of watching

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a debate like that, that I can't do it.

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Glo: we've

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confirmed, we've confirmed here That

Laura is not a Trump voter then.

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Laura: What gave me

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Glo: Oh man, maybe it's the feminist

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podcast, but you know, on top of that.

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Laura: Well, and I've also hosted

a podcast with Ja'far for what?

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Two

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years, three years now?

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I don't know how I would

have lasted if I were a Trump

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voter.

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Beth: Yeah.

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I think you guys, he and I have almost

come on to the three year mark in

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our relationship and y'all started

your podcast just, I know, flew

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by

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Laura: Right.

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Beth: is so easy.

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What the hell?

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Laura: Best.

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Beth: it's nice.

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And you guys started like

a couple of months, I think

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Laura: I think so.

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Yeah,

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Beth: dating,

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Laura: that seems right.

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Yeah.

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You know what else flies by?

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Glo: Oh, God.

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Beth: Is it Airwolf?

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Laura: episode of Airwolf.

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Beth: so good!

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Laura: you don't mind my segue

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Glo: was so good, Laura.

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Well done.

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Laura: I got to say it.

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Think that Airwolf is at

least better than Crusade.

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I'm enjoying this show more than

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that.

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Beth: Having seen snippets of it,

and then realizing that I don't have

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to watch Crusade, end up losing.

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You know, it's, it's bad.

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It's, I think Airwolf is in fact better.

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I think that there is Yes.

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Laura: to say there's not stuff for

us to pick apart in Airwolf, but

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Beth: What are you talking about?

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It's a cinematic classic.

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Glo: Guys,

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I came out to my friends at work as a

podcaster, this is Glow, and I told

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them about the concept of our show,

and I said that we were reviewing

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Airwolf, and my 40 plus friend.

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Who is male, perked up.

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He's like, AIRWOLF?!

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The one about the jet helicopter?!

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And then , the younger dude is , on

YouTube trying to find the he's like, If I

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remember correctly, doesn't

the intro just really slap?

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And I'm like, yeah, It does actually.

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Laura: kinda slap.

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It's grown on

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me, yes.

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Mm hmm.

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Beth: Yes.

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Glo: I don't know if this is just

like, in comparison to the other

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episodes, But this episode was like,

Kind of an okay episode told a story.

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Beth: It was like,

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nuanced, which is not

something that this show does

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typically.

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Glo: of gave, uh, Dominic a little bit

of a, I don't know, I, I hated him in

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the first couple of episodes because

he was like so misogynistic, but now

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he has like women in his life and like.

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People he cares for,

and it's kind of crazy.

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Laura: Except that we killed them.

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That's not the best.

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Glo: yeah.

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Beth: We do kill them.

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This episode made me

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cry.

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I have feelings when I watch Airwolf now.

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So,

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ugh.

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Laura: have to reprogram

Beth when this is over.

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Beth: Yeah, I think I have to cut

that out because it's so embarrassing

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Glo: Beth, be a man.

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Be the demographic.

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Man up.

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You can't have tears.

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Beth: right.

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Guns

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and, um, beard

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Glo: jet powered airplanes, Beth.

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Beth: shit.

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You're right.

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I gotta go fish and like

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Laura: Play your cello.

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Glo: cello

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to your bald

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Beth: actually, I do play the

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Laura: Yeah, you need more of that.

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Beth: that,

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Laura: of that.

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We have America the Jeep.

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Beth: So anyway, we start.

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at Santini Air at night time with America

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the jeep.

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Glo: the star

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Beth: Uh, string,

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Laura: mm hmm.

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Beth: love that Jeep.

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I really want a Jeep Wrangler.

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So bad.

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Laura: I feel like if you're gonna have

a Jeep, you need to have a fun paint

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job.

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There should be no plain Jeeps.

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There are lots of plain

Jeeps, but there shouldn't be.

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They should all be very interesting.

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Beth: Right?

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And I want, I really, I,

I just want to get ducked.

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I want all the ducks on my

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Jeep.

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Laura,

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Laura: heard about the ducks.

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Yeah.

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Beth: do you know?

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Yes.

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Laura: people leave a duck on your jeep.

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Glo: Yeah.

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Beth: yes, my co worker has gotten

ducked many times in our parking lot.

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Um, and I eventually, I, I found out

that the Titanic Museum has little

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Captain of the Vali It's the captain

of the Titanic, but as a duck,

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Laura: Hmm.

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Beth: so I, I, I had

them like ship it to me.

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Laura: Okay.

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Glo: it to you

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Beth: yes, the duck itself was

four dollars and shipping was

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like ten, but it was so worth

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Glo: to put on someone's car.

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Beth: it.

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No, I handed it to her at work and

I was like, I know sometimes you get

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sad because you feel like you're not

doing a good enough job, but just

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remember this guy sunk the Titanic.

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Laura: Anyway,

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Hawk is looking for Dom

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at Santini Air, and he finds him with his

head in his hands, crying at his desk.

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Laura's just really insecure.

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And, his daughter was found dead

on a beach,:

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Glo: And you said I miss seeing her grow

up so we know that there're estranged

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for some reason.

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We're not sure

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why yet.

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Laura: Yes.

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Beth: And that is the first time

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Beth cried.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Beth: So naturally they take Airwolf

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Glo: Mm-Hmm.

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Because it's tomorrow.

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There's no way for him to get

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there.

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By commercial means?

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Beth: And they're supposed to be

like on a mission for Archangel,

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Laura: And String is like a

good, , I'm calling String the

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boss here, he, String is a good

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Glo: Mm

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Laura: like, no, no, no.

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Work can wait.

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Glo: Yeah,

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Laura: Let's do the important

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thing.

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Glo: really healthy.

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Beth: I think everyone's

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growing emotionally, since

Caitlyn entered the picture.

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Glo: ah It's Caitlin, huh?

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Laura: Could be.

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Beth: I think it might be

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Laura: I mean, it definitely is for us.

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Glo: Yeah,

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Beth: it is for us,

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Glo: we talk about okay?

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I don't know whether to talk about

this now or at the end But did you

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guys see them holding each other

at the very end of this episode?

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They have been shipped since we have

been since we have skipped episodes

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Laura: We've only skipped one

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episode too,

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Glo: So, we, must have missed an

episode where they get together as a

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couple because they're holding each

other like, oh, aren't we adorable,

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kind of thing, not as business partners.

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Laura: Right.

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Beth: Do you not hold

your business partners?

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Have I, have I been doing

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business wrong?

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Glo: Mm.

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Laura: We got to get you some, a coach.

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Beth: Okay, somebody call Stringfellow.

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So then cut to some dudes who are

definitely shady opening a casino

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situation and being generally

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shady.

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Laura: Yeah, you can tell it's

generally shady because, they're

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entertaining a congressman.

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Glo: Yeah.

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That,

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Beth: and apparently

he got cream cheese, so

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good for

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Glo: man, he got cream cheese.

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Do we ever find out what

this island's name is?

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Laura: So I think it's the U.

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S.

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Virgin

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Islands.

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And I don't remember why

Aaron and I determined

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Glo: Okay.

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Laura: but, apparently, because

at first I was like, , why would

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he have to be extradited to the U.

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S.

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Virgin Islands?

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But apparently that is a thing.

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Aaron looked it up.

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Glo: Oh, okay.

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Laura: yeah.

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Yeah.

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yeah.

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Beth: Word.

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Well, Domin and Stringfeller

are walking on a beach.

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It's real cute, there's a sunset.

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And They run up to Dom's old

buddy, whose name I never caught,

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Laura: His name was Aaron.

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so that's not going to be confusing

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Glo: yeah.

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Aaron who,

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who's like Dom's best

buddy from growing up.

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Laura: Yeah.

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And they have big, things

were better in the old days,

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Glo: Mm hmm.

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And Aaron likes to hint at how

Dom was a ladies man and just

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tore it up around the island.

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Laura: Okay.

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Beth: I believe the exact word he

used was skirt chaser, which is

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so

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much worse.

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Glo: honestly though,

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okay.

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I know when we see his ex wife, I

was like, damn, she looks good now.

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This woman must've been an absolute

firecracker when they were dating.

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And what did Ernest Borgdine

look like when they were

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Laura: Yeah.

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Glo: Oh, he's like a character actor.

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They are giving him, a

lot of credit for it.

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Getting this woman, cause she is stunning.

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Laura: He's got a lot of charm,

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Glo: I guess

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so.

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Laura: Charisma.

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Beth: She is, in fact, fine as

fuck, so he must have Riz's fuck,

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Glo: so, as the children say.

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Beth: as the children say.

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It's my favorite bit of slang that

the children have come up with.

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I just,

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Glo: You're,

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Laura, you have , a, Gen Alpha son

that is, has a developing brain.

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Does he use things like

Skibbity Toilet and Rizzler

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and, okay, great.

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Laura: and, he's obsessed with

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Glo: Okay, Ohio Riz.

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Laura: No, we're, we're threatening

to take him to Ohio just to

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show him what it's all about.

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Glo: Ugh.

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Beth: Make him eat that slop skyline

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chili.

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Laura: It's, the, tough love

style of parenting, right?

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Glo: Be like, Ohio's

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Beth: We're going to Ohio!

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Where everything is Oh, but actually,

if you do go to Ohio, everything

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is mid except for the opera?

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Laura: oh,

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oh, Cincinnati

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is, yeah, it's big.

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They have a big conservatory there, too.

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Yeah,

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Beth: Yeah,

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they do.

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The Cincinnati Opera is incredible.

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The Cincinnati Symphony is incredible.

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Music Hall is beautiful.

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The Art Museum.

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Um, Immaculate.

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Laura: hmm.

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Beth: Bring your own food though,

cause all the food is bland, so.

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Laura: Noted.

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Yeah, they go to the church.

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Dom looks at Sally's body.

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I was confused at the names here, guys.

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And for half of this episode, I thought

Sally was the lady, the Mother, but it's

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Lila is the mother.

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Sally was the daughter.

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Oof.

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Glo: And Sally, Sally, Sally's just

such a, I got bored and didn't

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write a good name for my character.

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But I don't know.

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Laura: What's a cutesy girl's

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Glo: yeah.

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Sally.

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Laura: There we

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go.

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Glo: Sally Ann.

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Beth: I mean, it's of the time too.

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I don't know how boring that was of a name

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back in the day.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Glo: So Dom comes in, kisses Sally.

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Sally's forehead in the casket and

the ex wife Layla just scoffs like,

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why are you here for her money?

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How?

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And she says, how are you

sure she's even your kid?

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And Dom goes crazy.

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Laura: Yeah.

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She

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Beth: she just like, hurls

abuse at him at the burial,

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Laura: knows the buttons.

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Beth: rough.

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Laura: pushin the buttons.

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This is a person who knew Dom

intimately and she's going to

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Use everything in her arsenal.

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Beth: Yeah.

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There's a lot of rage in

that pretty, tiny lady

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Laura: Yeah, and it seems like Dom

hasn't done the work to heal from that

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Glo: Mm, mm,

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Beth: It's why her hair is so big.

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It's full of rage.

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And then we find out.

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That, well, then they go to lunch.

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Dom's buddies are like, Yeah, he

basically just banged half the island

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cause he was in so much rizz, yes.

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Glo: Aaron, Aaron, by the way,

does not sound like a British,

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antihero, just so you guys know.

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Beth: sorry, that is immediately what

everyone sounds like in my head if they

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are above a certain age and saying really

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Glo: Instant Winston Churchill.

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Beth: immediately Winston Churchill.

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Laura: Yeah, so in a restaurant

the there they're having this

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conversation And so the waitress also

tells them all about her housing new

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Beth: Dom leaves because he's

You know, just buried his

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daughter and had abuse hurled at him by

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Laura: Mm hmm.

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Yeah, this is just String and Aaron and

the waitress with her housing problems.

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There's nothing new under the sun

because this was like, oh, you could

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have written this like yesterday.

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Okay.

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Hmm.

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Beth: So anyone wanna,

host us in Scotland?

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Cause that might be nice to move

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Glo: hmm.

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Laura: Yeah, so I think the

real enemy is capitalism.

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Beth: The real enemy is always capitalism.

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Compost the

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rich.

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Glo: Beth has a shirt on that

says Compost the Rich for

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Those listening.

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Beth: Yes.

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And

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Laura: Yeah.

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Dom goes to Lila's house

to retrieve a locket.

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And I thought this was going to

be more important than it was.

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They set it up like it was a

thing and then it was not a thing.

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It was not a thing.

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I thought it was a

Chekhov's locket, you know?

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Beth: Yeah,

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and she's , drinking out of a gigantic

bottle of Tanqueray on her super nice bar.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Is this, was this the house that

Dom had bought with like his G.

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I.

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Bill or something that

Aaron talks about later?

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I think he was like, yeah, he

bought this house on his G.

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I.

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Bill.

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I don't know.

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Beth: no, This is Lila's condo, which is

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different than the house,

because I had that same thought.

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But Sally Ann was, he maintained that

house in hopes that Sally Ann would

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come back and remember

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him.

467

:

So he maintained it, but she'd only

been living there for the month before

468

:

she died.

469

:

Laura: hmm.

470

:

Okay.

471

:

Yeah.

472

:

They have an argument about who their

daughter was more like, but we didn't

473

:

know her at all, so we have no idea.

474

:

Beth: Yep.

475

:

Laura: And,

476

:

Beth: Ooh, also important to note,

during the housing low conversation,

477

:

we find out that the shady casino

is buying people out of their

478

:

homes and then selling them

crappier, smaller things for.

479

:

Twice as much.

480

:

Laura: Yeah.

481

:

Yeah.

482

:

It's the casino's fault.

483

:

The casino is the real bad guy.

484

:

Glo: Yeah,

485

:

seriously.

486

:

Beth: The casino made possible by

487

:

Glo: Mm hmm.

488

:

Laura: So in Air Wolf, Archangel calls on

the TV and is super mad about the delay

489

:

in this mission, which again, I thought

was maybe being set up to be a thing.

490

:

It wasn't a thing,

491

:

Beth: It wasn't because yeah, they

fly to the Arctic Circle and they're

492

:

all like, we're in the Arctic Circle.

493

:

This is communist territory.

494

:

And you're like, They're

gonna get blown up, right?

495

:

They're gonna get stranded

in the Arctic Circle.

496

:

That's where

497

:

Laura: Yeah, or there's

a consequence of some

498

:

kind for having been in Soviet

airspace in the Arctic Circle.

499

:

But

500

:

No.

501

:

\ we just get, some of those state of the

aphics that they used back in:

502

:

Glo: And their mission

was just to take pictures.

503

:

So it's just

504

:

like, really Archangel?

505

:

You, you needed, , they couldn't

go to a funeral and you know,

506

:

you need it on the right now?

507

:

Laura: Archangel is a bad

508

:

boss.

509

:

Glo: so.

510

:

Beth: yeah.

511

:

Archangel is really giving

some j Jonah Jan Jamison energy

512

:

right here.

513

:

Caitlin greets them at the door when

they come back to the office to let them

514

:

know the cops have paid them a visit.

515

:

And, the detective guy who's supposed

to be besties with Dom, , arrests him

516

:

for the murder of his ex wife, who

somehow was apparently beaten to death.

517

:

In between the time he got the locket

and they flew to the North Pole

518

:

and grabbed photos and then flew

519

:

Laura: Yeah.

520

:

Glo: they

521

:

can't use Archangel as an alibi,

unfortunately, because it is so hush hush.

522

:

So nobody can defend that Dom

was indeed not on the island.

523

:

Laura: okay, you can't use it

for an alibi, but could you

524

:

use it for an insanity defense

525

:

Beth: That's a good point.

526

:

Glo: I swear, I was just

taking pictures over Soviet

527

:

airspace in my rocket helicopter.

528

:

Beth: It's a rocket

529

:

helicopter, don't you

530

:

Laura: Yeah.

531

:

Beth: You're gonna help me find my long

lost very dead brother, Saint John!

532

:

Glo: Wait, you pronounce it Sinjin?

533

:

Yeah, he is crazy.

534

:

Laura: Yeah, I'm just saying we have

an alternative solution here, but, Dom

535

:

is a man of integrity and he is telling

the truth that he did not murder Lila.

536

:

Glo: And the Firm just sucks here.

537

:

Archangel tried to get the Firm to, , Dom

out and Stringfellow out and he's just

538

:

like there's nothing I can do about it.

539

:

Sorry.

540

:

And of

541

:

course, Stringfellow has to take

it into his hands to get justice

542

:

for Dom.

543

:

Laura: he does.

544

:

Yeah,

545

:

Beth: Well, and Caitlyn the whole

time is big mad because she's

546

:

a real one.

547

:

So , she is ready to kick some shit.

548

:

She is up in that detective's face.

549

:

Just like, how dare you not

be there for your brother?

550

:

Buddy, what the fuck is wrong with you?

551

:

And then she's all like, Hey Dom,

do you want any food or magazines?

552

:

Laura: she's thinking about

him, taking care of him a

553

:

little bit while he's in jail and

554

:

Beth: Yeah.

555

:

Laura: fellow looking for some,

teen Vogue's to send over there.

556

:

Beth: That's cause he's a man and

men don't do things like emotional

557

:

Glo: You know what he does do, though?

558

:

Drive back to the island in Airwolf and

NOSEDIVE Airwolf down to the island.

559

:

Oh my god, guys.

560

:

Laura: I don't know

why that was necessary.

561

:

Beth: Because he's mad and he needs

everyone to know with his giant

562

:

Glo: look at me, I'm so reckless.

563

:

I need justice so badly.

564

:

Beth: I drew angry eyebrows on my

helicopter before I did a nose dive.

565

:

So, you know, it's serious.

566

:

Laura: Oh, and

567

:

I will point out too, Dom is

having some serious, PTSD from,

568

:

I guess he was in North Korea.

569

:

And some sort of prison camp at one time.

570

:

And so he's having flashbacks to that.

571

:

So, he probably could

use a Teen Vogue or two.

572

:

So I think it's really nice that

Caitlin was trying something like that.

573

:

Glo: We're really

574

:

developing Dom's

character in this episode.

575

:

Beth: Yeah.

576

:

So anyway, I thought they were in Italy.

577

:

So I wrote Stringfellow takes

Airwolf back to Italy to investigate.

578

:

Basically sneaks to the X's

579

:

Laura: Well, I think we had the

conversation that Ernest Borgnine

580

:

was actually a very Italian

581

:

Glo: Mm hmm.

582

:

Laura: you know, had

583

:

Glo: Or Santini is, for sure.

584

:

Beth: yeah,

585

:

Dominic Santini is about

586

:

as, you know,

587

:

Laura: they definitely planted that seed.

588

:

Glo: Dominic Santini guys.

589

:

Do you think that there's gonna be okay?

590

:

I have a conspiracy theory segment.

591

:

You ready?

592

:

This is conspiracy

593

:

corner

594

:

with glow.

595

:

Okay, so you know how there's Archangel

right there was Gabrielle there was

596

:

all of those guys Dominic Santini means

like Exalted saint or something, right?

597

:

Like Domina and Santini's saint.

598

:

Is he part of the firm?

599

:

Laura: Is he,

600

:

Glo: Okay.

601

:

Beth,

602

:

Laura: he like string fellows?

603

:

Like handler.

604

:

Glo: So Beth, when you, when you

cut this together, you have to do a

605

:

dun dun duh, or something like that.

606

:

Beth: I absolutely will.

607

:

I might also throw in the,

I'm Stanley Tucci and I'm

608

:

Italian on both sides bit from

609

:

his show.

610

:

We'll see.

611

:

Glo: Okay, guys, that's

my conspiracy theory.

612

:

, if we do this like last time on,

I get 10 points, if it's true.

613

:

Laura: Yeah, no, you'll just win.

614

:

You win

615

:

airwolf.

616

:

Beth: You just win Airwolf, you

win the entire, congratulations.

617

:

Congratulations.

618

:

The airwolf is

619

:

now

620

:

Glo: you.

621

:

The

622

:

Beth: it.

623

:

Laura: The.

624

:

The next thing I wrote in my notes is

that they casually talk about what a

625

:

slut Lila was, and it's no surprise

someone killed her, but I don't know

626

:

who they is that had this conversation.

627

:

I assume one half of they

has to be Stringfellow.

628

:

Beth: So what happened was, Stringfellow

takes his plane back to Italy,

629

:

or, that's in the Virgin Islands.

630

:

The Italian Virgin Islands.

631

:

It's a small part

632

:

Glo: Italian Virgin Islands.

633

:

Beth: the Vatican.

634

:

Glo: uh, Isla Virgini.

635

:

Beth: So the, the Vatican Virgin Islands,

uh, that's where Stringfellow is.

636

:

Glo: Wait, would that just be like St.

637

:

Mary Island or something like that?

638

:

There

639

:

you go.

640

:

Laura: Yeah, yeah.

641

:

Beth: He kicks down the

door dressed as the Pope.

642

:

So anyway, then he, almost

gets arrested by this cop.

643

:

And then they go get a drink instead.

644

:

I don't get it.

645

:

Whatever.

646

:

Anyway,

647

:

Laura: why we're talking

about what a slut she was.

648

:

Okay.

649

:

Beth: and then the cops

are like, she's a slut.

650

:

And Stringfellow's like,

sure, that makes sense.

651

:

But like with his face.

652

:

Laura: Explains why someone would murder

653

:

someone.

654

:

Beth: yeah,

655

:

Laura: I mean, yeah.

656

:

Who among us has not,

657

:

Beth: I'm not one of those people who

thinks that I was born in the wrong time.

658

:

I am so very pumped to live in 2024,

where a lot of people actually like women.

659

:

Glo: True.

660

:

Laura: mean, there's still a

bunch that don't, but we're

661

:

surrounded by more of them than we

would have been at another time.

662

:

Beth: Yes.

663

:

Yes.

664

:

Exactly.

665

:

I feel like this is probably the

best time to be alive as a woman.

666

:

I am not gonna get lobotomized

for having opinions.

667

:

Laura: The cop says, well, after

their daughter died, Don probably

668

:

just killed her in a fit of rage.

669

:

Cause man, yeah.

670

:

Glo: hmm.

671

:

Beth: That's what happens when

your wife is slutty, apparently.

672

:

Welcome to the 80s.

673

:

Laura: then, I wrote, for some

reason, String goes to talk to a

674

:

tennis instructor because I hadn't

really caught that I guess the tennis

675

:

instructor was with Lila at the

676

:

Glo: Yep.

677

:

Oh,

678

:

he was!

679

:

Laura: about this guy?

680

:

Beth: yeah, he was.

681

:

It took me a minute to

put that together as

682

:

well.

683

:

Glo: her little boy

684

:

Beth: Yeah, cause I wrote,

Stringfellow goes over to a country

685

:

club to watch a really shitty

tennis pro be really shitty at

686

:

his job.

687

:

Cause he's really shitty at his

688

:

Laura: Also, then he falls out of a chair.

689

:

Okay.

690

:

Yeah.

691

:

Glo: can tell.

692

:

Beth: Yeah.

693

:

He's something for sure.

694

:

And then you find out he's

695

:

Lila's sugar baby.

696

:

And then Stringfellow and Aaron go to the

house Dom bought for himself, Lila and

697

:

Glo: But before that, I think it's

important to talk about what the alibi,

698

:

or like the reason, that he's connected.

699

:

So they have this big conversation, where.

700

:

The tennis instructor says, why

would I kill the golden goose who

701

:

laid the golden egg, basically

702

:

saying, cause she, she had bought his

tennis instructor contacts, cause they

703

:

were about to go into

business with one another.

704

:

And.

705

:

String was basically saying, okay,

did you kill her after you, you know,

706

:

because she took your contacts and

didn't pay you or something like that.

707

:

And it seems like that's

not what actually happened,

708

:

but then they go to the

house that was for Sally.

709

:

Beth: So they go to the house

that Dom bought for Sally Ann.

710

:

And they find out that Sally

Ann only lived there for a

711

:

few weeks before she died.

712

:

Because apparently she was

hanging out with the casino crowd.

713

:

And then they watch Dom's old movies.

714

:

And Aaron talks about how hot it was.

715

:

Lila

716

:

was back in the day.

717

:

And then we find out that Lila's oldest

friend, Beverly, who was at the funeral,

718

:

Glo: Beatrice Moretti.

719

:

Beth: sorry, Beatrice.

720

:

I don't know why I decided her

721

:

name was Beverly

722

:

Glo: sounds like an 80s name.

723

:

Beth: And then we find out that Lila

used her daughter for Bait for men?

724

:

When Lila

725

:

Glo: Yep, it sounds like

there was some, trafficking

726

:

she, sounds like they used her when

she was way too young, in, I don't

727

:

know, a prostitute way or something.

728

:

Used Sally as bait for men dash.

729

:

Holy shit.

730

:

That got dark.

731

:

Beth: Yeah, I wrote, that's some

732

:

Glo: Yeah.

733

:

Cause like we, we go over to Beatrice.

734

:

Who's like zhuzhing up

some, what is it models?

735

:

Right.

736

:

Is that,

737

:

Laura: Yeah.

738

:

They're doing a swimwear shoot.

739

:

Glo: and she's just zhuzhing

him up, and she's just casually

740

:

talking about using Sally as bait

for older men, and it's gross.

741

:

Beth: Yeah, and the way she

says it makes me genuinely

742

:

fear for the

743

:

Glo: yeah, for real.

744

:

Laura: I think there's a little

subtle shadowing of that.

745

:

The trying to get you to have that fear

746

:

because as Beatrice is talking

to string and the conversation

747

:

progresses to the worst stuff, the

model that she's working on, she

748

:

like keeps poking her with the pen.

749

:

Glo: mm,

750

:

Laura: And, part of that is

just her agitation of admitting

751

:

wrongdoing and part of it's yeah,

shadowing that, yes, these women

752

:

are like, basically just being used

753

:

It was very interesting.

754

:

Beth: and then we find out that Lila

manipulated Dom into marriage by

755

:

saying she was pregnant two years

before she gave birth to Sally Ann.

756

:

And then Shady Casino Guy, sends his

little guys, his little henchmen, to

757

:

tell String Collar to stop snooping

around, and they bring him to Darius, the

758

:

shady tennis, or shady casino guy, who,

apparently, is the one who bought the

759

:

tennis pros stuff, and refutes the claims

that the tenant, that Lila had any money,

760

:

Glo: mm hm.

761

:

Beth: and was paying any

bills for the tennis pro.

762

:

Glo: Yeah, we

763

:

get the idea that,

764

:

Laura: both

765

:

Glo: Yeah, they were just not

smart people, Lila's broke, and

766

:

we get the idea that Lila Was with

Darius, who is the casino owner.

767

:

Beth: And then we find out that Aaron

knew, that Lila had a thing with Aaron.

768

:

Darius.

769

:

And, Aaron and Stringfellow's like,

The fuck didn't you tell me, dude?

770

:

What the fuck?

771

:

And, Aaron's like, I didn't want you to

start shit because Darius is terrifying.

772

:

Laura: Yeah.

773

:

Even though, Occam's razor, right?

774

:

The simplest.

775

:

Solution is probably the correct one.

776

:

Seems like the guy with the goons

might be the guy who did it.

777

:

Beth: Yeah.

778

:

The dude who looks like a literal

Bond villain and is opening

779

:

a casino like a literal Bond

villain is probably the bad guy.

780

:

Laura: Yeah.

781

:

Caitlin goes back to see Dom again.

782

:

He's still freaking out.

783

:

She's very upset for him too.

784

:

Then String goes to see the tennis pro

785

:

again.

786

:

I wrote Vince, but I'm like, who's

787

:

Vince?

788

:

Beth: Vince

789

:

Glo: Oh, I thought his

790

:

Beth: pro.

791

:

That's we

792

:

find

793

:

Glo: his name is Tom.

794

:

I don't know why I put my

name, the name Tom down.

795

:

His name's Vince.

796

:

Okay,

797

:

Beth: Yes, but it's okay.

798

:

I thought Beatrice's

799

:

Glo: well, there you go

800

:

Laura: There's a lot of names of not

well fleshed out people to keep track of.

801

:

Beth: we're just picking 80

sounding names out of the hat.

802

:

So we find out that Vince says

everyone's on Darius's payroll.

803

:

Lila said she's about to make a big score.

804

:

And that if anything happened to

her, her baby would protect her.

805

:

Stringfellow gets on the phone with

Aaron and asks him what that means.

806

:

Aaron says he thinks he knows,

so Stringfellow should meet him

807

:

at the house and he'll explain.

808

:

I thought, at this point, that Aaron

was in on everything and he was going to

809

:

Glo: oh wow.

810

:

Laura: Man, what a dark twist that would

811

:

be.

812

:

And yeah.

813

:

Glo: We do.

814

:

Beth: I mean, I did spend all

weekend watching, Brand new

815

:

horror movies in the theater.

816

:

So,

817

:

Laura: yeah, you're in a place.

818

:

You're already in a frame of reference.

819

:

We call this anchoring in

judgment decision making.

820

:

Glo: Oh

821

:

Beth: Oh, who?

822

:

Oh

823

:

Laura: I learned something.

824

:

I did a learn.

825

:

Beth: god,

826

:

Glo: job, dr.

827

:

Laura

828

:

Beth: And you applied it

to your everyday life.

829

:

And we love that.

830

:

And so would Al Woods.

831

:

Laura: That's, that's maybe the most

inspiring thing I've heard lately.

832

:

And so would Elwood's.

833

:

Yeah.

834

:

Okay.

835

:

Beth: Good!

836

:

Carry that in your heart, man.

837

:

Laura: I shall.

838

:

I shall.

839

:

Beth: You fucking rule!

840

:

Him

841

:

Laura: String arrives at the house,

and the goons have killed Aaron, yes.

842

:

I don't think it's ever explicit,

but he looks pretty dead.

843

:

Beth: is definitely dead.

844

:

I think.

845

:

Cause they would have, said, Oh yes,

and Aaron's recuperating fine in the

846

:

Laura: Yeah, or he would have shown

back up with a broken arm or something.

847

:

He does not show up again, everyone.

848

:

Glo: And he

849

:

has a fame he has a line.

850

:

I'm a good cop mostly

because he's being paid

851

:

Laura: oh, I was talking

about Aaron, sorry.

852

:

The cop and Aaron are

two different people.

853

:

Oh.

854

:

Glo: because aaron's a cop too.

855

:

Laura: Is he?

856

:

Glo: Yeah,

857

:

Laura: I thought he was

a fish guy or something.

858

:

Beth: I think he just chills on the Virgin

859

:

Islands

860

:

Laura: So we get Stunt Chase now.

861

:

It's time for Stunt Chase.

862

:

Beth: it's Sente's time.

863

:

Cue the Benny Hill music.

864

:

Laura: These goons aren't very smart.

865

:

Because we get the Stunt

Chase, we capture String.

866

:

We take him on a boat.

867

:

And Before they try to drown

him, they cut his bones.

868

:

Beth: Then he fights everyone

and jumps off the boat and the

869

:

goons are like, yeah, he's dead.

870

:

We're good.

871

:

And then the cop finds certain

fellow washed up on shore

872

:

the next day, gives him some.

873

:

Some slutty mouth to mouth,

874

:

Laura: Yeah.

875

:

Beth: And then, Stringfellow tells the

cop that Lila was blackmailing Darius,

876

:

because that's what we found out at the

house, because she found out that Darius

877

:

was embezzling from the casino, and the

cop basically says, you can't prove it,

878

:

go home, and Stringfellow says he can

help the cop, and, and then he's all like,

879

:

you could grow a fucking spine, man.

880

:

And, he doesn't say it

in those words, but,

881

:

Laura: That's the vibe.

882

:

Yeah.

883

:

Beth: close enough.

884

:

Yeah, that was the vibe.

885

:

Then the cop, inspired by the words,

goes and tries to bring Darius in, and

886

:

gets the shit kicked out of him instead.

887

:

But it's okay, because

Airwolf has arrived.

888

:

Ha

889

:

Laura: Yeah.

890

:

I love how every, like, bad guy in

Airwolf thinks that they can bring their,

891

:

shotguns or knives to a helicopter fight.

892

:

Beth: my favorite.

893

:

I just want, just in one episode, I would

like someone to throw a carving fork

894

:

Glo: Mm hmm.

895

:

Beth: and, and then be

shocked that it doesn't work.

896

:

I need that.

897

:

Laura: Yeah.

898

:

So, String just starts

shooting up a casino.

899

:

Which, we had the, what was it?

900

:

The Sheriff's h Sheriff's house,

the, the sheriff's office in Texas

901

:

where that's sort of plausible.

902

:

It's a small county in Texas.

903

:

If there's no one in the jail, then it's

just all bad guys and they're right.

904

:

But there's a lot of innocent

people in this very tall casino,

905

:

Glo: Yeah,

906

:

Beth: and he fires a little bit and

then he's like, Darius, come out.

907

:

And then, Darius runs out, and the

cops arrest him, and then the cop, who,

908

:

as far as I can tell, hasn't been in

the casino at all, tells, Stringfellow

909

:

that no one's in there, and it's

all clear, and he should blow it up.

910

:

Glo: but also I love this rounding

up of rich people, motif it's all

911

:

these derpy guys in tuxedos are like

Please get into the stretch limo

912

:

Beth: Yeah,

913

:

Glo: it's

914

:

Laura: Just another day, being rich,

another jet helicopter staring me down.

915

:

Beth: dammit, now I have to

finish my caviar in my limousine

916

:

instead of on the lanai.

917

:

Glo: Can

918

:

we talk about how Dope this blowing

up the of the casino is though Yeah

919

:

Laura: This is a fun little model, right?

920

:

They must have blown up a

little building model thing.

921

:

Beth: Yeah.

922

:

Maybe I posit that this show is,

at its core, anti capitalist.

923

:

Glo: Hmm.

924

:

Laura: It's anti capitalist with just

a little touch of secret feminism.

925

:

Yeah.

926

:

Beth: And a little touch of ACAB,

927

:

Laura: Uh huh.

928

:

Yeah.

929

:

Maybe it's better than we

930

:

thought.

931

:

Beth: Maybe it is.

932

:

Ooh, by the way, the writer's name for

this episode is absolutely incredible.

933

:

he didn't really do anything notable after

this, but his name is Westbrook Claridge.

934

:

First name Westbrook, last name Claridge.

935

:

Laura: I love a two last

names kind of situation.

936

:

Glo: Mm hmm.

937

:

Laura: Well,

938

:

Beth: And the guy who directed

it is Donald Bear, who frequently

939

:

teamed up with Alfred Hitchcock.

940

:

Glo: Okay.

941

:

Laura: maybe that's why

it felt above average.

942

:

Glo: Yeah.

943

:

Beth: It did kind of have a

North by Northwest feel to it,

944

:

with the plane doing nosedives.

945

:

Glo: we had to do a rating system for

Airwolf, what would our, stars be?

946

:

Beth: I feel like it should just be

Caitlin Mullets out of, you know.

947

:

Because I fucking love her hair.

948

:

And I would love to rock her hair.

949

:

Because that is the gay haircut

950

:

of my dreams.

951

:

Glo: I don't know.

952

:

Would it be like 10 out

of 10 dead hot ladies?

953

:

Laura: There's a lot of

dead hot ladies in this

954

:

show.

955

:

Yeah.

956

:

Glo: Starting strong with dead hot

ladies and just continuing with dead hot

957

:

ladies.

958

:

Laura: Mm hmm.

959

:

Beth: Yeah,

960

:

I

961

:

guess, yeah, I guess it would have to be

962

:

out of Dead Hot,

963

:

Laura: we don't really see Sally in the

show, but I think it's fair to like, make

964

:

the assumption that she's a hot lady,

965

:

Glo: I mean, and, Laila

was, you know, hot.

966

:

Beth: Yeah,

967

:

Glo: if they kill Caitlyn,

I'm gonna throw everything.

968

:

Laura: oh yeah,

969

:

Beth: same,

970

:

but , I have taken heart in the fact

that she is, in the main credits and

971

:

continues to be, um, which, and this

isn't a show by, like, Joss Whedon,

972

:

so don't think anyone's gonna make us

love her and then take her away from

973

:

Glo: Yeah, I feel like shows

in the 80s and 90s, you didn't

974

:

kill off beloved characters.

975

:

, now that's

976

:

like

977

:

Laura: just went

978

:

Glo: edgy thing to do.

979

:

Beth: And I

980

:

Glo: at you, George R.

981

:

R.

982

:

Martin.

983

:

Beth: Yeah,

984

:

fuck you, man.

985

:

Also, maybe put less sexual

986

:

assault in your writing,

987

:

dude.

988

:

We don't need that.

989

:

Laura: So I've been listening to

fire and blood because I can't

990

:

wait for the rest of house of the

991

:

dragon and trust the internet not to spoil

992

:

me.

993

:

And I can see why people feel

the need to edit your shit

994

:

and change your stories, sir.

995

:

Because some of it is just.

996

:

Glo: Yeah.

997

:

Laura: So anyway, we, in this episode

back at Santini air, Dom comes home

998

:

and he's, grateful, happy to be

home, but in the back of my mind,

999

:

I'm like, he just lost his daughter

:

00:40:16,044 --> 00:40:16,614

Glo: Mm hmm.

:

00:40:16,709 --> 00:40:19,419

Laura: his ex wife and

his best friend, but he's

:

00:40:19,469 --> 00:40:23,309

Beth: but it's okay, because now

Caitlyn's a full time employee, and

:

00:40:23,309 --> 00:40:26,589

she calls Dom Dom instead of Mr.

:

00:40:26,679 --> 00:40:27,579

Santini.

:

00:40:28,139 --> 00:40:28,799

Laura: good.

:

00:40:29,099 --> 00:40:30,659

And then we go to credits.

:

00:40:30,659 --> 00:40:32,179

Did you guys watch the credits?

:

00:40:32,514 --> 00:40:32,764

Glo: No!

:

00:40:33,209 --> 00:40:34,469

Beth: No, should I have?

:

00:40:34,479 --> 00:40:38,569

Laura: Do you remember this sort

of style of credits that was a

:

00:40:38,569 --> 00:40:42,339

thing once where you'd have your

episode and then your credits would

:

00:40:42,349 --> 00:40:44,469

have highlights of the episode

:

00:40:44,654 --> 00:40:45,814

Glo: watch the credits!

:

00:40:45,844 --> 00:40:46,614

Yes!

:

00:40:46,684 --> 00:40:52,444

Laura: So one of the highlights they

chose at the very beginning was just

:

00:40:52,444 --> 00:40:56,414

Dom getting fingerprinted at the jail

and it was the most boring scene.

:

00:40:56,414 --> 00:40:59,794

I kept expecting it to blooper

and then it was like, Nope.

:

00:41:01,464 --> 00:41:04,744

Glo: I was looking for a blooper

too, I remember now, and really

:

00:41:04,744 --> 00:41:08,764

it was just a replay of all

the major beats of the episode.

:

00:41:08,764 --> 00:41:09,194

Laura: It was

:

00:41:09,194 --> 00:41:09,654

weird.

:

00:41:09,654 --> 00:41:14,239

Beth: Yeah, and I feel like, Ernest

Borgnine was I don't know a lot about him,

:

00:41:14,239 --> 00:41:18,779

but I do know that he was, I think it was

called Marty, which is, a comedy thing.

:

00:41:18,789 --> 00:41:20,769

I think he was known as a comedy

:

00:41:20,839 --> 00:41:21,059

Glo: yeah!

:

00:41:21,249 --> 00:41:23,149

Laura: a very comedy face, right?

:

00:41:23,569 --> 00:41:26,759

Beth: Yeah, he did, comedy

bits, so why wouldn't you, Ha ha!

:

00:41:26,789 --> 00:41:30,049

Here's Ernest Borgnine doing comedy!

:

00:41:30,049 --> 00:41:33,169

Laura: Or at least like those credit

moments could have been the outtakes or

:

00:41:33,169 --> 00:41:35,909

something and y'all could

have a little laugh, you know?

:

00:41:36,789 --> 00:41:37,479

I don't know.

:

00:41:37,879 --> 00:41:41,459

It was a little strange, but it

made me remember the, the Naked

:

00:41:41,459 --> 00:41:43,879

Gun movies and Police Squad.

:

00:41:44,564 --> 00:41:46,264

Police Squad was so much fun.

:

00:41:46,264 --> 00:41:49,474

Beth: Movies I haven't thought

about in literally a million

:

00:41:49,474 --> 00:41:49,664

years.

:

00:41:49,959 --> 00:41:51,569

Laura: if you can find those anywhere?

:

00:41:51,679 --> 00:41:53,459

Naked Gun surely, but Police Squad?

:

00:41:53,779 --> 00:41:54,139

I don't know.

:

00:41:54,139 --> 00:41:54,959

I'm going to go look now.

:

00:41:54,959 --> 00:41:55,044

I don't know.

:

00:41:55,044 --> 00:41:55,284

It's

:

00:41:55,404 --> 00:41:55,754

Glo: Beth.

:

00:41:55,784 --> 00:41:56,784

What are we watching?

:

00:41:56,894 --> 00:41:57,864

Beth: you go look,

:

00:41:58,044 --> 00:42:00,184

Laura: Yeah, let's watch more Airwolf.

:

00:42:00,444 --> 00:42:00,564

Glo: Woo!

:

00:42:01,534 --> 00:42:04,254

Beth: Glow, tell me when to stop.

:

00:42:04,854 --> 00:42:05,404

Glo: Stop.

:

00:42:05,404 --> 00:42:06,904

Beth: Five, six, seven.

:

00:42:07,214 --> 00:42:11,404

We're doing our MASH, because

we do MASH, which is like an old

:

00:42:11,404 --> 00:42:13,254

timey game that people played in

:

00:42:13,394 --> 00:42:14,894

Laura: say old timey.

:

00:42:14,894 --> 00:42:15,883

Ugh.

:

00:42:16,064 --> 00:42:20,104

Beth: It is a very new and

current hip game that people play.

:

00:42:20,864 --> 00:42:22,324

Laura: Young, sexy people.

:

00:42:23,244 --> 00:42:23,914

Beth: Yes, young,

:

00:42:24,224 --> 00:42:25,974

Glo: All of us in our jammies.

:

00:42:25,974 --> 00:42:28,204

Beth: We're all barely out of our

:

00:42:28,214 --> 00:42:28,874

20s.

:

00:42:28,974 --> 00:42:30,624

We're not even out of our 20s.

:

00:42:30,634 --> 00:42:32,024

We're barely out of our teens.

:

00:42:32,034 --> 00:42:32,314

We're,

:

00:42:32,364 --> 00:42:33,534

we're babies.

:

00:42:33,889 --> 00:42:34,509

Children.

:

00:42:36,009 --> 00:42:38,459

Alright, we're skipping four episodes

:

00:42:38,499 --> 00:42:38,919

this time.

:

00:42:39,644 --> 00:42:40,464

Random target.

:

00:42:40,464 --> 00:42:41,814

It's called Random Target.

:

00:42:41,814 --> 00:42:43,324

Laura: Do we have a little blurby?

:

00:42:43,364 --> 00:42:44,544

I have a short blurby.

:

00:42:44,544 --> 00:42:45,054

Beth: I have a short

:

00:42:45,054 --> 00:42:45,744

blurby.

:

00:42:45,744 --> 00:42:50,874

When String and Dom agree to shoot some

incidental film footage for a friendly

:

00:42:50,874 --> 00:42:56,434

rival, they accidentally stumble across

a reputed mobster hiding out in the

:

00:42:56,444 --> 00:42:58,954

desert with plans for a secret rend.

:

00:42:58,954 --> 00:43:00,564

I assume that meant rendezvous, but

:

00:43:00,839 --> 00:43:01,459

Glo: Rendezvous?

:

00:43:02,124 --> 00:43:02,444

Beth: that's where

:

00:43:02,444 --> 00:43:03,114

it ends.

:

00:43:04,859 --> 00:43:05,769

Laura: Interesting.

:

00:43:05,769 --> 00:43:06,859

Beth: Yeah, I'm excited.

:

00:43:06,874 --> 00:43:07,264

Glo: Okay.

:

00:43:07,264 --> 00:43:09,224

So we get mobsters this time.

:

00:43:09,224 --> 00:43:11,664

Laura: I'm glad we're not

picking on Dom this time.

:

00:43:11,734 --> 00:43:15,504

It felt weird with two, Dom

tragedy episodes in a row.

:

00:43:15,504 --> 00:43:18,264

Beth: Yeah, I'm excited that

we're getting back to shenanigans.

:

00:43:19,089 --> 00:43:24,179

But yeah, so anyway, it's pumpkin

time, and we must all go to bed

:

00:43:24,189 --> 00:43:26,119

because that's what sexy young

:

00:43:26,129 --> 00:43:26,569

people

:

00:43:26,619 --> 00:43:27,799

Laura: Absolutely.

:

00:43:28,099 --> 00:43:28,719

Glo: Indeed.

:

00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:32,379

Beth: So we can be refreshed

for the club in two hours.

:

00:43:32,709 --> 00:43:35,759

Glo: The club, as in starting at 7 20 a.

:

00:43:35,759 --> 00:43:36,039

m.

:

00:43:36,039 --> 00:43:39,149

with a group of high schoolers.

:

00:43:39,149 --> 00:43:40,129

Beth: Yeah, baby.

:

00:43:40,799 --> 00:43:41,369

Laura: Do it.

:

00:43:42,149 --> 00:43:42,659

All right.

:

00:43:42,839 --> 00:43:43,049

Beth: Cause

:

00:43:43,049 --> 00:43:43,989

you're cool!

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About the Podcast

Cool Girls Don't Look at Explosions
Have you ever been curious about what men watched in the 80's and 90's, but didn't want to sit through it? Have we got a show for you! Join Beth, Glo, and Laura as they skip through dude centric TV while laughing, mocking, and maybe finding the secret feminism.