Episode 3

full
Published on:

22nd Jan 2025

S1 E3 Airwolf: Archangel Went to Claire's

In this episode, the girls discuss nazis, birds, and the Pontiac Fiero.

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Transcript
Beth:

Welcome to another episode of Cool Girls Don't Look at Explosions, where

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we watch your favorite dude centric shows

really quickly, cause we're not gonna sit

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through all that misogyny, let's be real.

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We got Pop Tarts to eat.

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Lives to live.

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Laura: That's real.

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Who are we?

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Beth: Oh, I'm Beth.

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Glo: I'm Glow,

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Laura: And I'm Laura.

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Glo: and we watch through

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these shows as quickly as

possible because they are trash.

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Beth: Garbage.

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This was an episode that

should have been really

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fun because Nazi Hunters.

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Is Season 1, Episode 7, and it

was called Fight Like a Dove.

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It involves Nazi hunters and

starts with the shanking and is

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still very hard to get through.

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Glo: Yep.

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Little shanking in Paris.

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Beth: They talk about chocolate

and then there's a stabbing.

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That should be a banger of an opener, man.

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Glo: Yeah, but then, and then, , we

bring up Dachau, and then it all

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Goes away.

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And there's a lot of talking about

Israel, which is really interesting

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that Israel is so on the forefront

right now in our news and politics.

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Laura: Yeah, it is a little awkward

to watch in that context of perhaps

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some things that are happening in the

country of Israel right now are not.

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Okay?

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Glo: Yeah.

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Beth: Yeah, it's a really It is a very

complex subject that spans decades and

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I don't think that we have enough time

in the podcast to talk about the episode

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Laura: And

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that.

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Glo: Yeah.

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And let's just be real, if we wanted to

start a cool girls talk about politics

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podcast, I would be totally cool with

that, but we're here to entertain.

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Laura: Those are the bonus episodes.

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That's what it's going to be,

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yeah the Nazi hunter is, from

the government of Israel.

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That's

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Glo: I was wondering was he part of the

firm because he has the name the Dove

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Laura: Oh, good get.

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I don't know.

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Glo: they

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Laura: firm is definitely familiar with

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Beth: I think the firm has

its fingers in a lot of pies.

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Pies being governments, in this case.

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That it's I would guess that

the Dove was a bit of a private

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contractor at times for the firm.

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But

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Laura: like he's doing his

own thing, Nazi hunting, right

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now.

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Beth: I think his goal was to

find Nazis and make them pay.

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Again, this episode should have been

way more entertaining than it was

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because who the fuck doesn't like

to watch somebody hunt down Nazis

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and

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Glo: can I ask you guys a question about

the politics of the firm like Are they

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the baddies or the goodies cuz like

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Laura: I feel like it's ambiguous, right?

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Glo: cuz we get

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Beth: I know I just said we're not gonna

get political, but , I feel like the

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Firm is the United States government.

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They do what works best for them

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Else, pretty much.

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Laura: It does feel like a little bit

of an allegory for some of the messing

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around that the United States has done.

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We've externalized it into the

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firm, but it's the kind of things that

you hear about these days that it's

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like, Oh in the seventies we did this,

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Glo: wait, does that mean that

Stringfellow is really just all of us?

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Laura: Oh, is he the every man?

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Beth: No.

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Laura: he's what we all want to be.

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Beth: I am calling the police.

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Glo: Speaking about people

who should call the police

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This

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stunt that Stringfellow and Dom are trying

to pull with Airwolf Going into space?

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Beth: could not give less of a shit,

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Laura: I know, that's how I felt.

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I was like, this seems so unrealistic, I

don't know the physics of helicopters,

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but it all seemed very, so improbable

that I couldn't get behind it

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and be interested in this scene.

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Glo: Just so the listener

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knows what's happening we get these shots

of Airwolf ascending at a ridiculous

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speed, and it looks stupid because

we know helicopters cannot do this.

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Beth: Airwolf can, because

it's a special helicopter.

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Glo: And when they get up to the height

where it starts getting dark, I'm,

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I literally put in my notes, space,

question mark, exclamation point?

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And they confirm, they have taken

Airwolf to space at 86, 000 feet.

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I did not check that height, but I

would assume that is pretty high.

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Laura: Yeah, border

there that's ephemeral,

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right?

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Of what is space and what

is not space, so sure.

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Glo: Yep.

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Beth: I am going to say something

a bit controversial here.

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Laura: Bring it.

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Beth: Neither of these two

characters are Tyrese or Ludacris.

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They are not in a Pontiac Fiero.

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Thus, They cannot go into space.

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The rule is, you are not in

a Fast and the Furious movie.

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You cannot go into space.

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Glo: Are we making a differentiation here?

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Because I think this is important

that, so We know that Fast and the

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Furious franchise is definitely

made for the male gaze, right?

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But are we saying that there

is good male gaze content and

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there is Trash male gaze content?

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Because that's very important

for what we're doing here.

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Beth: I would venture to say yes,

because who doesn't enjoy the Fast

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and the Furious entire franchise?

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Zoomies?

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You got Zoomies.

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You got Dwayne the Rock Johnson.

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Glo: You're

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Laura: I do feel like things get

a little bit more wholesome with

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Dwayne the Rock Johnson around.

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Beth: It's true.

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Glo: I

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think you're

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Laura: I feel like he

has a wholesome energy.

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For a big buff dude,

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he's extremely wholesome.

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Glo: maybe it's

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because The Fast and the Furious doesn't

necessarily take itself so seriously?

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Beth: That's the key, I

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Glo: Yeah.

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Airwolf takes itself

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Laura: fun at itself a little.

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yeah.

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Beth: Airwolf is that guy

who thinks he's an alpha.

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Laura: Yes.

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Ha.

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Glo: Oh I'm sorry, but do you guys, at

the beginning they say that Stringfellow

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is a reclusive, sensitive loner?

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But he also takes charge, and

it's just oh my god, what?

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Every guy

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watching this is , yeah, I'm a

reclusive sensitive loner too.

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Ah!

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Beth: the Rye, all those dudes vibed with

Holden Caulfield and then tried to kill,

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Laura: I've heard of

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this, yes.

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Beth: Stringfellow is Holden

Caulfield in that, metaphor,

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Glo: listeners, I am an English teacher,

this is Glow, and I just want to say

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that I do not endorse Catcher of the Rye.

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I absolutely hated that book.

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The end.

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Laura: The other thing about

this whole Airwolf, , testing.

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Then when we come back

and we hide Airwolf in

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the Valley of the Gods or whatever.

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Haha, sorry.

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Glo: Oh

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Laura: We hide it in

the Airwolf cave, yes.

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I couldn't stop thinking about how

the plot of this show really crumbles

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the second you think about satellites.

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We probably didn't have satellites

the way we have satellites in today,

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in 1984, but everybody would know

exactly where Airwolf is today.

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Glo: Good point.

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Laura: At all times.

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Beth: You know what isn't tracked

by satellites when it's in space?

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A Pontiac Fiero.

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Glo: So we have a

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hot girl in the cave that makes

Dom stammer but Hawk is totally

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fine with giving her a body search.

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Beth: yeah a little too fine

because at some point she goes,

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oh, and he's my hands are cold.

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Like fucker, she's wearing

head to toe fabric.

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What are you, why are your hands cold?

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Laura: Yeah, where did

you put them exactly?

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And they're more concerned with

searching her because she knows she's

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figured out where Airwolf is and

nobody's supposed to be able to do that.

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Glo: But we do find out that

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she's like pretty B.

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A.

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She isn't, she is in fact a Nazi hunter.

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Which we get

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into a little bit here.

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Beth: But I do have to state that the

whole them going, How did you find us?

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No one can find us.

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Is giving mediocre white man confidence.

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Glo: It's giving you can't come

up into the secret clubhouse.

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Beth: Yes, it's giving no girls allowed.

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Yes.

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Laura: just put together the clues, like

you left clues and I put them together.

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What's wrong with you?

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Beth: Fellas, is it gay to like women

and allow them into your clubhouse?

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That's what it's

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Glo: Yep,

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Laura: yeah good question.

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Good question.

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She is the dove's daughter.

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So,

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Glo: The person who stabbed the

dove, his name is Hans Dober, also

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known as Helmut Kruger, who was head

of the Dachau extermination squad.

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Laura: if you're going to have

a German guy, it's gotta be

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a Hans or a helmet, right?

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There's no other options.

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Glo: absolutely.

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Laura: your

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Beth: Or Heinrich.

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Laura: Heinrich.

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okay.

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Beth: Because I think Himmler was actually

the person who, because I did a little bit

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of research on Dachau for this episode.

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It was a lot.

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It was really intense.

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But yeah, it was actually

the first concentration camp.

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And it was open for 12 years.

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And it was opened in 1933 by Himmler.

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And a lot of experiments happened there.

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And there were 10, 000

documented deaths, but

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a lot more undocumented

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Laura: Oh, yeah, for sure,

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right?

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Beth: and yeah, and it was the model

for the other concentration camps.

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Yeah.

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Glo: Oh, I've been there.

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I just

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had to remember, yeah.

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Ben and I have been there.

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Actually, Henry

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has too, cause I was pregnant

with him when we went.

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Yeah.

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And so we took a group of German

language students to Germany

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and a couple other countries.

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, we got to go there.

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And, it's everything people say.

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You feel the evil there.

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You feel the, the sadness, the oppression.

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It's a pretty evil place.

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Beth: Yeah.

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Glo: But

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Laura: Yeah, that it

was open 12 years, you

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My god.

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Yeah,

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Glo: yeah,

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they've,

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Laura: that's a long time

to just do these things.

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Glo: but,

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Beth: I know.

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I know.

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It Ugh.

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Laura: It boggles the mind

that things don't work.

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that humans will let things

go this far, this long.

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Like,

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Glo: But does that mean that we are

on the side of Airwolf because they're

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against these terrible Nazi criminals?

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Yeah,

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Laura: When we're on the line against

Nazis, we have to side with Airwolf,

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but we can still like critique Airwolf,

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Right.

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Glo: That's

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Laura: okay.

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And it's when we don't critique

Airwolf that we like open ourselves

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up to worse possibilities, right?

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Beth: Exactly.

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Laura: Yeah.

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Beth: Not being allowed to critique

things to make them better is

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a slippery slope into fascism,

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as they say.

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Laura: Totally.

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Glo: We learn that Halumut Kruger has a

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fortress in Paraguay that the

government does nothing about.

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And we also learn that Sarah LeBeau and

her dad, the Dove, have killed 23 Nazis,

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but Stringfellow has to press Sarah and

say, But how many did you kill personally?

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Did anybody find that stupid?

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It's just maybe she

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Beth: It's giving!

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Oh, you like that band?

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Name five songs.

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Laura: Yes.

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You hunt Nazis, but how many

did you pull the trigger on?

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You're not a

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real Nazi

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hunter until you've

pulled the trigger on one.

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Beth: How many Nazis have

you killed, motherfucker?

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Like, where were you during all

the Nazi hunting, Stringfellow?

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Glo: Yeah, that was a little stupid.

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But she found your secret cave, my dude.

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She puts the hunt in Nazi Hunter.

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Laura: Yeah, she's got chops.

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Maybe you shouldn't be, like,

throwing your gates up at her.

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I don't know.

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It's silly.

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Beth: Yeah.

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Laura: We go back to String's

home, where Archangel, who

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is now being called Michael.

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I don't remember if he was

called Michael in the pilot.

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Maybe he was.

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I don't know.

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Beth: I think he was just Dark Angel.

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Laura: Yeah, I thought he

was just Archangel, but he's

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being called Michael now.

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And there's some lady who is new

Gabrielle that doesn't get a name.

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Glo: Yeah we do not

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hear her

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Laura: with them.

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Yeah.

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Beth: doesn't get a name, but she

does get creeped out by the dog.

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Because apparently, that whole the dog

being trained by Stringfellow to look

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up women's skirts is the cleverest bit

that the writers could come up with.

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Yikes.

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Laura: And you know what?

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You think about it.

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This dog is an actor, right?

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This dog had to be trained to

do that, to get this on camera.

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Cool.

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Cool.

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Beth: He was in NAMM.

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Laura: Yeah.

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This dog was in NOM.

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Beth: Yes.

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Glo: Awesome.

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Laura: I don't think this dog's

old enough to be in NOM, but

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Glo: Yep.

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Have a conversation about black

and white versus gray in politics.

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I don't know if you were

gonna touch on that.

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Laura: oh no, but let's do.

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Beth: I think we should.

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Glo: They make it really clear that,

Stringfellow is the protagonist

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here and he is very like, there

is good and there is bad, right?

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And then, and

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Michael is like, yeah, no,

there's actually gray areas and we

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really, the firm really operates

in these gray areas, right?

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And we,

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I think this really ties into a lot

of the American mythos of we are on

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the side that is 100 percent good.

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And there are shady operations out there

that are in the grays, but really at the

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end of the day, the reclusive, sensitive

loner is the one who really fights

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for justice and the only good thing.

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Beth: Yeah.

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To tie it all into Nazis and the gray

area, and America did y'all know where

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the Nazis got the idea for eugenics from?

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Laura: It was from,

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Beth: Germany from?

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Laura: wasn't it the whole Trail of Tears?

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Wasn't it Andrew

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Jackson?

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It's all Andrew Jackson's fault.

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Beth: Yeah.

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Laura: Pretty familiar with that

being from Tahlequah, Oklahoma.

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That's where the Cherokees Trail of Tears

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ended, was Tahlequah.

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Glo: I knew

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Laura: So there were

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Glo: but I didn't know if it was

specifically your town or that area.

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Yeah.

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Laura: yeah different tribes

got ended in different

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places.

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Cherokee nations was in Tahlequah

and there's memorials there

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Beth: The Nazis, they modeled Nazi Germany

off of the Jim Crow laws of the South.

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That is,

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Glo: Wow.

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Beth: We also are the reason

they did eugenics, because

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we gave them the idea for it.

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Glo: Wow.

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Laura: had a lot of things that were

bad foundations that someone else was

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like, but what if we did this, but more

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Beth: Yeah.

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Yeah, and we had Japanese internment

camps during World War Two,

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Glo: George Takei was in them.

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Beth: yes, , just look up an

interview with him he really he is

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very blunt about it, and He goes

into detail and it is bone chilling.

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Glo: His graphic novel, I think it's

called They Called Us Enemy, is really

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good.

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Yeah, it's really good.

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Laura: I wonder if the media of

this time, the things like airwolf.

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Have damaged us a little bit in this

way in that, I think there are people

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our age and younger even that still

don't want to look at the bad things

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America has done and they still,

part of it might have been like the

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civics that we got, as millennials,

our civics left a lot of this out.

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And now we're just going back and

rediscovering it for ourselves.

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But also the media was this black

and white thing, like Stringfellow.

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We must always be right

because we are America and

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there's not that nuance and we're

not comfortable in that nuance.

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Yeah, I, I wondered about that watching

this too, because the other thing

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about the Nazis in this show is.

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And I don't know, there's

probably more Nazis in the show,

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but\ at least this episode.

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This guy is he was the head at Dachau

and now he's an arms dealer and he

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murders people for fun and random and

I'm like, a Nazi was bad enough, right?

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So we can hunt Nazis for

just being Nazis too, right?

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Do they need to be like ramped up

every second about how evil they are?

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I don't know.

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Were plenty of Nazis who did that, who

like, they had been in Nazi Germany, they

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escaped to South America or whatever.

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We know that happened a little bit.

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And they just laid low for the rest

of their lives, avoiding justice.

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Bringing them to justice

was, is still important.

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They didn't have to be arms

dealers to need justice.

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I don't know.

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Glo: Yeah, if they had just been

meditating on a hilltop somewhere are

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they less deserving of being prosecuted?

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Beth: It's really interesting to me

that the writers chose to throw in

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that there's a gray area in all of

this and made their bad guy, so 2D.

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Laura: Yeah.

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He was so starkly black, but you're

telling me there's a gray area.

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There'd be a little more gray area if

it was like, maybe he was just doing

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science for the Paraguay government

and the Paraguay government was trying

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to, hide him and we're actually against

Paraguay getting this guy out and maybe

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he like expresses regret at the end.

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Yeah, I guess it's time

for me to face the music.

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That's a little more

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gray to me than I'm selling arms

to everybody and I don't know.

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Beth: Or maybe even tying in Operation

Paperclip where the American government

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flew in a bunch of Nazi doctors,

Nazi scientists to work in NASA and

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stuff and hit it, that'd be a good

tie in for this episode if we're

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talking about, black and white versus

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Laura: and gray.

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sure.

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We do a lot of avoiding the gray.

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We just talk about the gray.

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We don't

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illustrate the gray.

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Glo: mean, they do,

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Beth: It's performative.

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Gray

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Glo: yeah, and I agree with you.

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They definitely put him in the

black when they talk about TOR,

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which is their defensive unit that

he's trying to show off to all

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these different governments, right?

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And not only is he showing off this

defensive unit that he's trying to sell

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to all these different governments,

he gives a Luftwaffe pilot, a million

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dollars if he can evade the TOR missiles.

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And all of a sudden we're like, oh,

not only is he evil, he's psychotic.

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And,

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Laura: He just murdered a guy for fun in a

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plane with missiles.

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Glo: they gave the, he at

least gave the guy agency.

429

:

He was giving him a million dollars

if he evades the TOR weapons.

430

:

But, we this guy is a baddie.

431

:

He's not very, He doesn't

he is all business.

432

:

Laura: Huh.

433

:

Yeah.

434

:

He is the blackest of Nazi villains,

435

:

if we're talking black

and white dichotomy.

436

:

Huh.

437

:

Yeah so we see him

murder a guy in Paraguay.

438

:

I laughed so hard at Paraguay

because it was the most

439

:

deciduous forest I've ever seen.

440

:

Glo: Okay.

441

:

Can I tell you guys something?

442

:

Okay.

443

:

This is jumping ahead a little bit, but

Laura gave me the perfect segue for this.

444

:

So later on, when we are backing Paraguay

and the hot ladies are massaging Kruger.

445

:

Okay.

446

:

Laura: Oh my god,

447

:

for

448

:

real?

449

:

Glo: So I'm

450

:

a bird nerd or an aspiring bird nerd.

451

:

Okay.

452

:

And

453

:

yes and there is a very

distinctive bird call.

454

:

That's going on during this scene.

455

:

So what I did was I opened my Merlin

app, which tells you what birds

456

:

there and I probably messed up their

algorithm because I found a Northern

457

:

Mockingbird in the, in this and

458

:

Laura: in Paraguay, yeah.

459

:

Glo: which I had, I did

a little bit of research.

460

:

Now, Laura, Northern

Mockingbirds are in Oklahoma.

461

:

Laura: Oh, neat.

462

:

Glo: but their range is

only maybe a little bit of

463

:

Southern Canada down to Mexico.

464

:

So there are absolutely no

Northern Mockingbirds in Paraguay,

465

:

meaning that this was absolutely

filmed probably in California.

466

:

Let's just be real.

467

:

Laura: Yeah.

468

:

We had Libya in the pilot that

looked very un Libya to me.

469

:

Paraguay also does not appear to be

470

:

Paraguay.

471

:

Lebeau is headed out with Hawk and

Dominic and she talks She can show

472

:

them the factories in Texas that are

supplying Kruger with these weapons.

473

:

Glo: Yeah.

474

:

Laura: was like, wow.

475

:

I see it.

476

:

I'm close to Texas.

477

:

I believe it a hundred percent.

478

:

But all she really cares about is Kruger.

479

:

She's I don't really care that you

guys are manufacturing these weapons.

480

:

You got to do your GDP and

stuff, but I want the Nazi.

481

:

Let's get that Nazi.

482

:

Glo: Yeah.

483

:

and the dude Kruger, we have a whole

scene, I don't know if I'm skipping

484

:

too much, but he makes it really clear.

485

:

I'm just the middle man, but I

also determine which side wins.

486

:

Laura: Yeah, and he's got some Arab

country there is the implication,

487

:

watching, looking at these weapons.

488

:

Iran.

489

:

And then maybe others,

but I don't know that

490

:

they actually mention others.

491

:

Glo: Yeah, they don't mention other

492

:

Laura: if I just wasn't

493

:

Glo: but later on, they do talk about the

Iranians are in the works, but later on

494

:

he threatens the Iranian buyer saying,

I could just sell this to your brother.

495

:

Meaning, I assume that means that his

brother is in power somewhere else.

496

:

Laura: Yeah, I don't know.

497

:

Beth: Oh, I thought it was like a

metaphor, like I could sell this to Iraq.

498

:

Glo: Oh!

499

:

Laura: could be.

500

:

Could be literal or could be figurative.

501

:

Glo: That's a good

502

:

Laura: it would work either way.

503

:

Glo: This has been Literature Literary

Terms with Beth, Laura, and Glow.

504

:

Can we please call

505

:

Laura: Strok.

506

:

Glo: STROCK!

507

:

String Stringfellowhug

508

:

Laura: and Hawk at the same

time and it came out bad.

509

:

Glo: merch.

510

:

Beth: Alright, new plan.

511

:

We're gonna have a shirt on our

Patreon that says Strock and

512

:

underneath it is the iguana.

513

:

That's it.

514

:

Laura: will think it's a

cool band or something, yeah.

515

:

So

516

:

So String and Sarah are not doing

this with the Firm's blessing.

517

:

We had heard Michael try to

like discourage Hawk from

518

:

doing , they calls the Airwolf.

519

:

And Hawk is deliberately like, one

wording his can't trace the call.

520

:

, but, basically, nothing, he

just says, I'm going to go do

521

:

this anyway, and they hang up.

522

:

The of Michael calls for an F 15

and a series of mid air refuels.

523

:

So they're clearly trying

to get somewhere very fast.

524

:

Did write down

525

:

in this next scene, I guess they're

talking on the airwolf uh, Sarah

526

:

and, and Hawk, makes fun of Hawk

for being such a brick, I guess.

527

:

Glo: Get

528

:

him.

529

:

Beth: I think this was, this

may have been the part where

530

:

I wrote Accidental Feminism.

531

:

Cause at some point, I know, and

we haven't played that game yet.

532

:

So, she says something about

how no, I think it was too dumb.

533

:

Where she says you'd

be, look at you smiling.

534

:

Oh no, it was definitely Stringfell.

535

:

Look at you smiling.

536

:

You're so much prettier

when you smile or something.

537

:

Cause

538

:

Glo: do you guys think that the writer's

room for this is five dudes and one

539

:

Laura: And one lady who sneaks

in some really good barbs

540

:

every now and again.

541

:

Glo: A little bit, some of the

characters, even though they are

542

:

definitely or made for the male gaze,

they do poke fun every once in a while.

543

:

Laura: Yeah, it could be a lady

or maybe it's a queer dude.

544

:

I don't know,

545

:

but, uh, I, I

546

:

Glo: or maybe like a dude who

547

:

like, maybe a dude who just like actually

loves his wife and listens to her.

548

:

Beth: Yeah.

549

:

Maybe he was like one of

those what secret wife guys.

550

:

Cause he's not allowed to

551

:

Laura: Right, right.

552

:

So he, to that like on

the, on the down low.

553

:

has to call her the ball

and chain and stuff.

554

:

I don't

555

:

Glo: I mean.

556

:

Cut, on the flip side, it's quite

possible that this is also just a, aw,

557

:

look at how feisty she is situation and

they are still just writing these women

558

:

Laura: Yeah, they're just writing feisty

woman now instead of something else.

559

:

Yeah, could be, could be.

560

:

in Paraguay, Kruger is

still showing off his shit.

561

:

I swear to God, he had a napkin

tucked into his shirt at all times.

562

:

Aaron says it was an ascot.

563

:

I'm like, no, that was a goddamn napkin.

564

:

And he's like chewing all the time.

565

:

Did anybody else notice

566

:

this?

567

:

He's always chewing.

568

:

Glo: No, you're totally right.

569

:

He was eating

570

:

the whole time.

571

:

Beth: isn't there denture gum?

572

:

Though maybe he just had denture

gum, and he was, like, chewing on

573

:

the gum for your, what's it called?

574

:

Fondant?

575

:

No, that's what you put on cakes

that taste like shit, and you're

576

:

like, somebody poisoned my cake.

577

:

The,

578

:

Glo: Yeah, I know, what

you're talking about.

579

:

Yeah, fix it

580

:

Beth: Fix a dent!

581

:

Laura: I don't know.

582

:

I thought it was chewing.

583

:

I

584

:

thought it was implied he was,

like, always snacking and had

585

:

this

586

:

napkin in his

587

:

Glo: yeah, I think it's just

to show his decadence look at

588

:

me, I'm eating caviar on the

589

:

Laura: Yeah, he's Hedonism Bot from

590

:

Futurama.

591

:

Beth: Oh.

592

:

I can't!

593

:

I would imagine, though, that the

napkin probably represented an ascot,

594

:

but they didn't have any money, cause

595

:

Glo: They can't go to Paraguay.

596

:

Beth: to Airwolf.

597

:

Like,

598

:

Glo: I have so much to

599

:

say about their budget, but I'm

going to save this one for later.

600

:

Oh my gosh, later on.

601

:

Beth: They blew all their

money on Paraguay, so

602

:

Laura: on the bikini

603

:

ladies.

604

:

They were pretty

605

:

hot.

606

:

Glo: Yeah, they were hot.

607

:

Beth: They were

608

:

Laura: So, Airwolf gets a closer

scan, , but surprise, something

609

:

is jamming their frequencies.

610

:

Oh no.

611

:

oh look, we like Binoculars Inn and

it's Archangel hanging out with a Nazi.

612

:

Bad look to commercial.

613

:

Beth: Yeah.

614

:

Glo: And

615

:

honestly,

616

:

Beth: the bringing it back to

the gray area from earlier.

617

:

Glo: We saying that the

firm is working with Kruger?

618

:

Laura: Yeah.

619

:

I'm pretty sure they

confirm it later, right?

620

:

Glo: Okay.

621

:

Beth: they do.

622

:

And then she shoots some, she

shoots Archangel in the ear.

623

:

Laura: I have things

to say about that, but

624

:

Beth: I can't

625

:

Laura: We'll get there,

626

:

Glo: Oh my god.

627

:

We'll get there.

628

:

Beth: The actress's name,

Lebeau is the actress Lebeau.

629

:

Her her actual name I

believe is Tova, which

630

:

is a dope

631

:

Glo: So she's She is actually Jewish

632

:

Laura: pretty sure.

633

:

Glo: that is a

634

:

Jewish name.

635

:

Laura: Okay, so they are in

the Lowe's garden center.

636

:

Uh, The have concealed Air

Wolf under one of those like,

637

:

Glo: my god,

638

:

you're right.

639

:

Laura: Yeah.

640

:

Glo: Yep.

641

:

The Cargo

642

:

Laura: Sarah Pester's Hawk about

Archangel gave up your frequencies.

643

:

He's on their side.

644

:

He's a Nazi too.

645

:

You know, the, just be

friends with a Nazi.

646

:

Like if you're friends with a Nazi.

647

:

you are a Nazi.

648

:

Hawk That Archangel is friends

with the Nazi, he's just playing a

649

:

game like, just, let's just Okay.

650

:

Beth: That's a really

fucked up game, but sure.

651

:

Sword String Fellow!

652

:

Glo: But also,

653

:

he keeps working with the firm

after this, so are we saying that

654

:

that Spock is cool with Nazis?

655

:

Are we saying this?

656

:

Beth: No I think he's being

blackmailed by Nazis, right?

657

:

Because

658

:

Laura: I think he was

playing a long game with the

659

:

Nazis,

660

:

right, To like,

661

:

if I

662

:

Glo: Okay.

663

:

Beth: yeah,

664

:

Laura: well, I'll sell them this

stuff, I actually have like a fail

665

:

safe built in can't use it, so I'm

just like playing against them.

666

:

Beth: I guess.

667

:

I don't know, the firm is definitely

extorting stock because he because

668

:

they're like, we can find your brother,

669

:

Laura: Mm hmm.

670

:

Beth: if you help us.

671

:

I do need to find Saint John.

672

:

I am not

673

:

Laura: Sinjin?

674

:

Beth: Stingen because that's

675

:

Laura: I have a hard time with it, yeah.

676

:

Okay so, Archangel is threatening

to turn off Kruger's missile supply.

677

:

So, it is the firm confirmed

that Light controls his stuff.

678

:

Beth: And then Tova shoots him in the ear.

679

:

Oh, nope,

680

:

Laura: Krueger orders,

681

:

Glo: that was, that's way in the

682

:

Laura: yeah,

683

:

Krueger

684

:

orders him to call off the helicopter.

685

:

And the only reason he's doing that is

he wants to track the helicopter down.

686

:

He's just gonna follow Archangel.

687

:

Because we need to see Archangel

come up over the ri er We need to

688

:

see Airwolf come up over the ridge.

689

:

Glo: It looks

690

:

Laura: it does look

691

:

Beth: Yeah.

692

:

and your audience at some point

is going to die of boredom

693

:

if you don't produce

some sort of intrigue.

694

:

Laura: a lot of

695

:

talking.

696

:

Glo: We find out that Sarah knows

697

:

Laura: Yes, I did not like this, that

Sarah knows Michael because she met him

698

:

when she was a very beautiful little

699

:

girl, is what

700

:

Michael says.

701

:

Michael, who we know like, takes

young impressionable women and

702

:

molds them into spies to be killed.

703

:

Beth: Yeah, I believe in my notes.

704

:

I forgot my notes, everybody.

705

:

I believe my notes at this point just

said red flag and I boxed it and I

706

:

just underlined the shit out of it.

707

:

Glo: But she makes fun of him and,

good for her because she's wow,

708

:

yeah hey old man, you're falling

apart, you've lost your eye, and you

709

:

can't walk without a cane, and

then later on she snipes his ear

710

:

Laura: Yeah.

711

:

Revenge.

712

:

Beth: Take that, you old bitch!

713

:

Laura: little girl now.

714

:

The plan here, but whoops, the Nazi

found them, so we've got to disperse.

715

:

Beth: Yeah.

716

:

Laura: out in the airwolf and

lead everybody on a chase.

717

:

, the missile footage, could not stop

718

:

laughing.

719

:

Glo: Guys, Guys, I put down, it's

like somebody holding a paper airplane

720

:

and trying to make it look like it's

actually flying in a, in a little

721

:

kid movie or something like that.

722

:

Beth: Yeah.

723

:

it's I just had an image while I was

watching this of some poor PA just

724

:

like sitting there I went to Juilliard.

725

:

This

726

:

Laura: looked like somebody was just

holding a missile out a car window and

727

:

we're filming everything that's going by.

728

:

Like it was just so, so bad.

729

:

Glo: Yup.

730

:

Laura: Of course,

731

:

Glo: they don't even try.

732

:

I

733

:

don't even think that there is

footage of the whole missile.

734

:

It's just like the red tipped.

735

:

front of the missile, semi

off frame to make it look like

736

:

it's zooming toward Airwolf.

737

:

Beth: You know who would have

made that missile look better?

738

:

Dominic Peretti.

739

:

Laura: Mm.

740

:

Glo: Heck yeah.

741

:

Beth: Some muscle cars.

742

:

This is a Fast and Furious

podcast now, bitch.

743

:

Laura: Of course, Airwolf gets

744

:

away.

745

:

Uh, this is where we get

the Nazi and the Bikini

746

:

Girls, and ladies, did you notice that

he had the most basic ass lawn chairs?

747

:

Like, the metal The

748

:

little plasticky strips across

it like, if you're gonna be in

749

:

Paraguay at like, Palace or whatever,

these are the lawn chairs you get?

750

:

Beth: Yeah, with some

bombshells rubbing you down

751

:

sir.

752

:

Laura: basic.

753

:

Beth: Get you some comfortable

754

:

Glo: we know because of the

Northern Mockingbird singing

755

:

in the background, right?

756

:

That maybe this was just filmed at

the showrunner's backyard and they

757

:

had to find something for the dude to

758

:

Laura: Yeah, they hired some neighborhood

ladies to be the bikini girls.

759

:

Beth: Damn, what neighborhood that?

760

:

What water are they drinking

in that neighborhood?

761

:

Laura: Okay, so these, these

TOR missiles came from the firm.

762

:

That's

763

:

confirmed at this

764

:

point.

765

:

Glo: Confirmed.

766

:

Laura: they were intending for them

to be sold to the Iranians, I guess.

767

:

Glo: But they can't use them.

768

:

Laura: slaps Archangel, I

769

:

think?

770

:

She slaps somebody.

771

:

Well, if he hadn't sold it to them, the

Russians would have sold it to them.

772

:

And I'm like, okay.

773

:

Alright but Archangel's got a, button

push and make all these missiles

774

:

useless, deactivate everything.

775

:

So.

776

:

Really, he, was trying to get

the missiles sold to the Iranians

777

:

so he could turn them off.

778

:

Glo: So are the firm the goodies?

779

:

Laura: Oh no, it's gray

780

:

again.

781

:

Isn't it?

782

:

Glo: Ugh, so

783

:

gray.

784

:

Laura: Hehehehe.

785

:

Beth: I believe this was around the

time of the Iran Contra affair, so I

786

:

think in this case the firm was the

goodies and Ronald Reagan was the baddie.

787

:

Laura: Mhm.

788

:

Beth: in a

789

:

Glo: not a fun way.

790

:

baddie.

791

:

Beth: Yeah, not like how the baddies

who are massaging the gross Nazi

792

:

dudes were baddies, but like how

793

:

Laura: Is a baddie.

794

:

Yeah.

795

:

Beth: is a piece of shit kind of

796

:

baddie.

797

:

Glo: This has been Cool

798

:

Girls Don't Like Ronald Reagan.

799

:

Thank you for joining us today.

800

:

Beth: Yeah just a side note,

if you're a fan of Ronald

801

:

Reagan, I'm gonna tell you now

802

:

Laura: Yeah, you probably just want to

803

:

Beth: you.

804

:

Laura: Or don't, you know, maybe

stay and maybe learn something.

805

:

Beth: Yeah.

806

:

Glo: Yep.

807

:

Beth: Or, it's okay.

808

:

If you can't handle this podcast,

Joe Rogan's fine for you.

809

:

Go,

810

:

Glo: Like and subscribe or send

811

:

us our first hate mail.

812

:

At least it's engagement.

813

:

Laura: ask for that.

814

:

Glo: Ha!

815

:

Beth: not the podcast network for you.

816

:

That was too

817

:

Glo: Ja'far is also confirming

that the other podcasts

818

:

are also not probably going to be your

819

:

Laura: you'll just want

to not find a new network.

820

:

Okay.

821

:

Glo: Anyway.

822

:

Laura: Sarah wants to go in with Archangel

to get this Nazi, and the Oboe of Feelings

823

:

starts playing, and Hawk tells her that

he doesn't want her to live with the

824

:

weight of revenge and stuff like that.

825

:

She says that she won't die,

he doesn't want her to die.

826

:

And he tells her not to make

promises she can't keep.

827

:

And this is definitely the same like,

musical Gabrielle was around in the pilot.

828

:

Like, he's remembering Gabrielle died and

829

:

stuff.

830

:

I don't know.

831

:

I was just like,

832

:

Glo: And then he says, what, and she says,

she said, what woman promised you that?

833

:

And he says, all of them,

834

:

Laura: Okay, how many women have died

in your weird games, Stringfellow

835

:

Hawk?

836

:

Jesus Christ.

837

:

Glo: Before Gabrielle, there must've been

838

:

Laura: Or

839

:

in between.

840

:

We missed some episodes.

841

:

Yeah.

842

:

Yeah.

843

:

Glo: That's true.

844

:

Oh, that's a good point.

845

:

So we're not actually sure what

our hot lady body count is up to.

846

:

Beth: No.

847

:

I will say that Experiencing

traumatic loss Is not a good

848

:

excuse To be a misogynist.

849

:

Go to therapy.

850

:

Glo: You heard it here, folks.

851

:

Laura: Go to therapy.

852

:

The main message of our podcast.

853

:

Beth: Pretty much.

854

:

Have you tried therapy?

855

:

Glo: guys go to therapy, the podcast.

856

:

Laura: So Archangel takes

a three minute break.

857

:

They're driving in the jeep.

858

:

He takes a break they just, Sarah

and Archangel talk about her work and

859

:

revenge and then Archangel's like,

haha, I'm not going to take you.

860

:

You stay here with the jeep.

861

:

, she finally.

862

:

We've been alluding to it throughout

the podcast, but she shoots

863

:

him in the ear and it's great.

864

:

Glo: Sarah also moonlights as a

Claire's ear piercer, just so you

865

:

Laura: Uh huh.

866

:

gets those

867

:

keys and she's off.

868

:

Beth: Alright, that's an idea for a shirt.

869

:

Just Sarah's in

870

:

Laura: Uh huh.

871

:

Yeah.

872

:

Glo: I would wear that!

873

:

Beth: We're good.

874

:

Glo: And just a few blood

spurts going down the shoulder.

875

:

Beth: And maybe just an ear dangling off.

876

:

The ear is the apostrophe.

877

:

Yeah,

878

:

Laura: Yeah.

879

:

Little blood dripping.

880

:

Glo: Welcome to our fashion closet.

881

:

This is our fashion cast.

882

:

Beth: Hope you're ready for

some weird ass merch, y'all.

883

:

Laura: Okay, so Kruger fires

the missiles, + at Airwolf.

884

:

do all their little fancy flying.

885

:

There's only one missile left!

886

:

And then Airwolf shoots the

palace grounds, which I guess

887

:

tricks the heat seeking centers.

888

:

into going after the palace

grounds instead of Erewolf and

889

:

Sarah is there in the wreckage

as Kruger's trying to get away.

890

:

She pulls a gun on Kruger and there's

a tense moment of, is she going to

891

:

murder him or is she going to take him

892

:

in?

893

:

Glo: Which was so cool.

894

:

It was actually, that was

actually pretty badass.

895

:

Laura: I'm down.

896

:

Go for it, Sarah.

897

:

Glo: But the real moral of this story,

guys, is that TOR, the missile system,

898

:

does shoot down the German plane,

but cannot get Airwolf, meaning,

899

:

America, baby, America's the best.

900

:

That's really what all of this is about.

901

:

Beth: Fuck yeah!

902

:

Airwolf!

903

:

Fuck yeah!

904

:

Bandits!

905

:

Fuck yeah!

906

:

Laura: I don't know where it's

at, but I want it to be Montana.

907

:

Sarah shot Archangel.

908

:

And she says, well,

wasn't listening to me.

909

:

it's just, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

910

:

That's

911

:

Glo: eighties ending

912

:

Beth: It's really, I feel like if they

weren't such fucking cowards, the writers,

913

:

what they would have done is gone, is

have Sarah go, he wouldn't listen to me,

914

:

and then she shoots stock in the ear,

915

:

right?

916

:

And then laughing to credits.

917

:

That's how

918

:

Laura: I thought, cause you

texted when you said you found

919

:

maybe an accidental feminism.

920

:

I thought it was this at the end where

like, she was like, listening to me

921

:

and then just like cackling at the end.

922

:

But I liked yours better.

923

:

This one almost seemed a little

more overt, feminism, than

924

:

it's accidental.

925

:

Glo: Guys.

926

:

Can we end the podcast with us?

927

:

Just cackling.

928

:

Laura: I'm down.

929

:

Glo: Okay, ready?

930

:

One,

931

:

two, three.

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About the Podcast

Cool Girls Don't Look at Explosions
Have you ever been curious about what men watched in the 80's and 90's, but didn't want to sit through it? Have we got a show for you! Join Beth, Glo, and Laura as they skip through dude centric TV while laughing, mocking, and maybe finding the secret feminism.