S1 E4 Airwolf: Bunny is the New Iguana
In this episode, the girls discuss shady sheriffs, people hunting and befriending lions.
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Transcript
Welcome to Cool Girls Don't Look at Explosions, where we watch
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:hyper masculine TV and make fun of it.
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:but we don't watch all of it,
cause who's got time for that?
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:We don't.
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:We're too busy coming down from the
Star Trek invention, to be honest.
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:Glo: Star Trek Las Vegas, baby!
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:Baby!
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:Mm
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:Beth: baby!
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:Frakes said he liked my shirt.
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:It was cool.
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:Laura: Oh, which shirt?
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:Beth: My I read banned books shirt.
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:Laura: Yeah, that is very cool.
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:Beth: So today we watched
Airwolf season 2 episode 1.
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:Called Sweet Birches.
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:It's air date was September 22nd, 1984.
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:It was directed by Alan J.
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:Levy, who also directed Sleeper,
which is an episode of Buffy.
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:Uh, it was
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:Glo: don't
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:Laura: but I hope that
that was a better episode.
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:Beth: Maybe it was.
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:It was.
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:A significantly better episode.
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:This was also written by Donald P.
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:Bellisario.
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:Who wrote a ton of Quantum
Leap, the OG Quantum Leap, with
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:none other than Scotch Bakula.
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:And, it was written by Chester
Krumholtz as well, who wrote
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:an episode of Police Woman.
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:I don't know anything about Police
Woman, but it gave me high hopes
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:for maybe some secret feminism.
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:Laura: Yeah, what an
interesting spin on Copaganda.
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:Glo: Copaganda right.
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:Bad boys, whatcha gonna do?
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:Beth: Apparently a lot of
bad , well, let's kick it off.
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:One, so we get the opening credits,
and in the opening credits, we
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:see a lady has got herself a
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:credit in the opening credits.
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:As in, she's part of the Ruggler
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:yes?
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:Glo: Jean Bruce Scott,
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:Laura: interesting.
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:Yeah, this is new credits,
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:Beth: mullet?
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:Yeah.
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:credits.
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:And she is in the opening scene where
we open on a high speed motorcycle
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:chase through a desert road.
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:With a bunny eating an apple core
while the sheriff chases the guy
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:Glo: Guys, the iguana got replaced
by the bunny eating the apple core.
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:Beth: Bunny is the new iguana.
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:Turns out the lady from the
opening credits is flying a
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:police copter.
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:This will undoubtedly make Stringfellow's
butthole of toxic masculinity, pucker.
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:Glo: It's okay, cuz she's hot.
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:Beth: hot.
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:Yeah.
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:She's got like a Joan Jett shag
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:That I wish I could pull off but I can't.
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:Hell
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:Glo: she is very cool, but definitely
I don't know, little sister vibes.
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:Not lead sexy lady vibes,
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:Laura: Yeah, she is to be
protected, not to be fucked.
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:Yeah.
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:Sure.
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:Beth: Is a
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:Glo: unless you're thrown in
jail, but we'll get to that.
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:Beth: Oh dear
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:god.
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:Glo: Oof.
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:Beth: She's flying a police helicopter
and The sheriff is chasing the cyclist and
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:she's all Yo sheriff, do you want help?
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:And he's just ignoring
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:Laura: Mm Yeah.
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:Beth: And then the sheriff drives,
purposefully drives the cyclist
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:into a ravine.
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:She offers to help.
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:Airlift him to the nearest hospital, and
he's all like, Why would I want to do
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:that?
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:She was like, cause it's your job?
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:And then he's all no.
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:And then he shoots at him
and tells her to fuck off
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:Laura: He calls her a
flying meter maid, which
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:I find extremely offensive because
we find out later that, she works
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:for like the highway patrol.
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:So
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:Glo: Yeah.
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:Beth: Which I think is like a hard job to
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:Laura: right,
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:Glo: frickin
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:flying a helicopter, I feel
like, should be hard, a hard job.
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:Come on now.
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:Beth: Actually one of, The College
Friends was in town , and I was watching
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:it while he was here, and he actually
has quite a bit of experience with
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:helicopters, and he was watching the
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:episode with me, and he was just
like, yo, this is some really good
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:flying whoever they got to fly the
helicopters they're hovering super
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:low, and that takes a lot of skill
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:Glo: Okay.
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:Beth: so he was pretty impressed,
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:Glo: right.
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:Endorsed.
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:Endorsement.
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:Laura: some stunt pilots did some
really good work on the show.
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:Beth: Yeah, but it is at this moment.
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:I would like to point out ACAP,
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:Laura: Ha ha.
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:Beth: especially the sheriff
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:Glo: Well, the sheriff is male toxic.
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:everything all personified.
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:Like he doesn't have a personality
other than I hate people.
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:I am terrible.
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:And I'm going to make fun of this woman.
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:Beth: Yes, but also deputy dumbass ACAP.
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:Laura: Yeah, and I, correct me if I'm
wrong, because it has been a while
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:since we watched this episode, right?
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:We all watched it intending to
record together at STLV, and
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:then we had too many shenanigans.
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:I'm pretty sure the sheriff
never took his sunglasses off.
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:Glo: I'm pretty sure you're
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:Laura: he was sunglasses
the whole time, yeah.
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:We needed that visual signal
of this guy is a baddie.
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:He wears his sunglasses
at night and inside.
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:Beth: Because he uses
echolocation to find his way.
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:Glo: So the sheriff is a
bat is what we're saying.
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:Laura: Are cooler
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:than the
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:sheriff.
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:Glo: a good point.
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:Beth: Yeah, no,
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:we love bats.
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:Laura: This is a pro
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:Beth: ACAB does not include bats.
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:Anyway yeah she backs off because
she has no other option and leaves
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:the cyclist with the sheriff.
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:And the cyclist looks terrified, like
innocent and terrified to be honest.
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:A Clab does not include bunnies.
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:Bunnies are cool.
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:Laura: hmm.
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:Beth: Cut to Stringfellow snoozing.
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:While , what's his name?
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:Glo: Dom,
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:yeah.
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:Beth: Dom, there we go.
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:I keep putting him as
Mermaid Man in my notes.
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:Laura: How could you not?
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:, Beth: but Dom does all the work on
the helicopter and the phone rings.
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:And Dom's all hey, maybe
you could get that phone.
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:And Stringfellow's like, I'm
gonna be a whiny bitch about it.
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:Glo: I have it in my notes
that they're on an airplane.
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:Beth: they're The airplane is
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:on the ground,
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:but it's like one of those two person
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:helicopter deals
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:sort of things.
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:That the flying ace in and
the Red Baron in the Peanuts
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:fly in?
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:exactly one
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:Laura: right?
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:Beth: Yeah.
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:Yeah, exactly.
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:Anyway I think that's supposed
to be funny, but boomer humor.
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:Boomer humor.
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:Laura: Yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:It's just pick up the phone.
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:And we find out this is a collect
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:call.
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:So I feel like you really
need to pick those up, right?
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:Okay.
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:Yeah.
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:I think you have to pay
the charges or whatever.
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:This is all like, before cell phone stuff,
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:guys, if you don't
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:Glo: If we have any young listeners
out there, that's when you would
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:call, and then the, you would accept
that you are paying for that call.
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:But, You don't have a plan.
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:It's all very interesting.
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:Beth: I remember they
took our phones at camp,
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:at sleepaway camp, and I lost my
retainer, and the only way I could
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:call was via payphone, and that
is the only time I've ever used a
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:payphone
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:Laura: Wow, yeah.
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:Beth: my dad I lost my retainer, and
he was like get in that dumpster and
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:find it!
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:Laura: Yeah, that's hard.
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:Beth: But, it's the cyclist's
buddy, and the cyclist is
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:named Jimmy Blake, we find out.
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:And he was Stringfellow's war buddy.
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:He says he pulled him out of
Indian territory in Vietnam.
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:Laura: Yeah, so I think this,
Aaron explained this to me.
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:That was like a way of saying enemy
territory was Indian territory.
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:Which is
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:Problems.
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:Beth: Yeah.
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:Wow.
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:Haha.
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:So he, so dude on the phone tells
Stringfellow that Jimmy got arrested
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:in Texas cause we haven't had a
Western episode, so let's get it,
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:cause there were three things in
the 80s, Western, Spies, and Nazis,
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:Glo: Should we have a count?
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:Like, is this a Western drama?
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:Is this a spy drama or a Nazi drama today?
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:Laura: Yeah, because we've had Nazi
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:drama, and now we're having a
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:Beth: Lions,
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:but we'll get
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:Glo: And the first one, the
first two episodes that was
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:one episode was about spies.
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:So there we go.
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:Beth: What's about spies?
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:Yeah.
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:But yeah Stringfellow, so dude tells
Stringfellow that Jimmy got arrested in
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:Texas and the sheriff's a dickhead and
he's hitching a ride to Mexico with a
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:hot, sorry, the sheriff isn't hitching
a ride to Mexico, the dude who's calling
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:from the payphone is hitching a ride to
Mexico with a hot blonde and a Mercedes,
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:Laura: hmm.
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:Beth: To meet Jimmy, who escaped custody
as far as dude on the phone knows.
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:And it turns out the blonde is a
cougar, and I think that's supposed
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:to be funny, but honestly it's fucking
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:consensual.
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:Everybody's a grown ass
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:adult, like, and I assume
it's to meet Jimmy who escaped
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:custody as far as the dude knows.
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:And yeah, so Stringfellow is
all like, we're going to Texas.
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:And Mermaid Man is the fuck
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:Glo: Oh, he is not
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:Laura: yeah.
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:Beth: Stringfellow's like,
this dude helped me out in Nam.
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:And Dom is all like, Texas ain't Vietnam.
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:Which is correct, because as far
as I know, Vietnam is not a
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:fascist dictatorship like
apparently this town in Texas is.
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:Laura: Also, Vietnam's a lot smaller.
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:Beth: And weather?
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:I think of
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:Laura: Oh,
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:Beth: like Dry ish?
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:Laura: Yeah.
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:Beth: Can someone from Texas fill us in?
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:Vic, what's Texas like?
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:Help!
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:Laura: I'm pretty sure Victor has been
openly posting about his nocturnal
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:lifestyle right now due to the heat,
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:so.
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:Beth: cuz it's super spicy
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:Glo: I do know that based off of my
roommate from when I studied abroad,
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:who is Vietnamese American, that a
lot of Vietnamese did move to Texas
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:after the Vietnam War for asylum.
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:And I know, Laura, you said
Oklahoma as well, right?
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:Laura: Yeah.
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:Texas and Oklahoma have very large
Vietnamese communities from that.
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:Yeah.
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:I think Vietnam does get warm,
but I think it's much wetter.
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:Interesting.
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:Glo: find out that Airwolf has
not been started for two months.
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:So we've had a two month, yeah,
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:Beth: Yep,
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:Glo: two month hiatus?
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:Beth: and that Dom thinks that
Airwolf has feelings and he calls her
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:baby
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:Glo: I, later on I put a question mark
Is airwolf established as sentient?
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:Like, does it understand?
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:Beth: I think if Airwolf does understand,
she is in this relationship with Dom
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:against her will.
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:Yeah, and then there's a fun flying
montage that takes way the fuck too long,
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:because apparently we still haven't hired
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:any editors this season.
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:Good for y'all.
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:Laura: did notice in this sequence,
though, that I really liked the music it
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:was very of the time, that like Vangelis
or Wendy Carlos electronic well done.
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:I mean, I've been watching a show that
has some really bad music lately, guys,
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:Beth: Is it.
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:Crusade?
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:Is it for The Who Are You?
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:A Babylon
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:5 Podcast Crusade?
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:Laura: Notedly bad music in Crusade.
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:And this is so much better.
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:I really liked it and appreciated it.
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:So I'm gonna give somebody
some props on this show.
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:Beth: Word.
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:Cut to apparently a big game hunting
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:business in
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:Glo: cat range.
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:Laura: I called this guy
some crazy, he was doing some
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:Beth: He is!
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:And he's charging 50, 000 in
80s money to hunt Sam the Lion.
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:And I did some Googling and
figured out how much that
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:is in today's money.
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:It is 151, 366.
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:70.
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:And he can pay that to bring down Sam
the Lion, who has been kidnapped, and
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:held in captivity now for ten years.
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:Will not go into my rants about how
big game hunting is barbaric and
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:obscene and should not be allowed,
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:Glo: What was the name of the lion
that we saw at the Zach Bagans Museum?
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:Do you remember?
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:I forget.
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:So this is from Star Trek Las Vegas Beth
and I went on a side quest to the Zach
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:Bagans Haunted Museum, and they had,
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:Beth: Zac Bacon
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:Glo: they had a stuffed
lion that had killed its
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:Beth: Stuffed lamb.
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:Yeah.
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:Laura: Oh my.
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:Beth: the
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:Glo: Yeah, and I'm just
like, why is this spooky?
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:It's not very spooky, it's
just like, yeah guy, good job.
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:Get him.
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:Laura: Just like
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:sad, Yeah.
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:Beth: I would like to high five that lion.
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:What a weird adventure that was.
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:Will never forgive Zach Bagans
for doing that with his hair
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:and somehow making me scream.
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:Nobody who does that with their
hair should be able to make me
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:And anyways, the hunter turns
to the dude and says, I'd
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:sell my soul for a good hunt.
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:And then, it Flashes back to
Erewolf, And Dom and Stringfellow
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:are talking about some giant
Electrovide fence that's massive.
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:Laura: these two things be related?
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:Glo: dun, dun
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:Beth: Right?
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:Cause otherwise, that's
even bad writing for this
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:Laura: Yeah.
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:Beth: So they have nowhere to land
so they're gonna have to land airwolf
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:at the African Hunt Club Ranch.
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:Gross.
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:And of course, the
asshole sheriff is a part
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:of the club.
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:Laura: Oh yeah.
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:Yeah, there's not enough people
here to exclude people from that
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:club.
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:Yeah,
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:Beth: and like four of them suck,
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:Glo: And not only is he a misogynist,
he's also a big game ranch animal abuser.
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:Beth: You know, cowards are big
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:hit game hunters.
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:They're, misogynists are
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:also cowards, so
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:Laura: the Venn diagram.
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:Yeah, there's
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:Beth: It's basically a
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:Glo: Yeah.
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:Well, you know, the two circles look like
his sunglasses that he never takes off.
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:Beth: Told you,
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:it's because he doesn't
have eyes, just black holes.
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:Anyway The Flying Copter Lady finally
gets a name, Caitlin O'Shaughnessy
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:. And she's come here to yell at Akeb,
and he dismisses her while sexually
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:harassing her.
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:I wrote the quote down, you stick
your butt in where it doesn't
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:belong, it's gonna get kicked.
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:No matter how cute it is.
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:Blech.
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:It is at this point I have begun to
actively root for Sam the Lion to eat the
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:Sheriff.
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:Anyway, she says she's gonna
do things the hard way, which I
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:would assume means get somebody.
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:Higher up involved and then she storms
out, and the sheriff sends dudes after
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:her and she's in her car and does in fact
confirm that she's planning on going to
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:a judge for a court order and she gets
run off the road by these guys, and this
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:is where the trigger warning comes in.
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:Glo: Yeah.
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:She's
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:Beth: gang raped by four men who
are all about twice her size.
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:Laura: And they call her Sweet Britches,
which is the title of this episode.
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:Beth: Which is much less fun
than Stringfellow calling
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:Dom sweet britches or some
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:Laura: Yeah.
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:Everything we came up with in
the last episode is way better.
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:Beth: Yes!
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:Glo: tied.
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:They really love hog tying
women in this show too.
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:Beth: They d Ah!
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:Help!
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:Ma'am!
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:That Somebody needs to be in jail.
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:That was involved in this show.
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:Possibly
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:several somebodies.
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:Glo: just like before, who comes to
the Lady Who's Tog Tied's rescue?
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:Beth: Sentient Helicopter Airwolf.
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:Glo: Jet Wolf!
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:Beth: Whoosh!
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:Laura: It's the anti rape helicopter.
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:Beth: Hee!
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:She is!
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:Hee!
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:Laura: Make it air
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:Beth: a pitch.
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:There we go.
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:Patreon bonus content.
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:We present to NASA
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:Laura: Air wolf.
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:Beth: a plan to make Airwolf real.
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:Laura: we have to remember
to like blow something up.
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:Definitely.
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:Glo: And give him bagels that
do not have enough cream cheese.
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:Laura: No
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:cream cheese.
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:None.
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:Beth: Like just a swatch
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:of cream cheese, like a square of
cream cheese on one edge of one
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:side
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:Glo: guys didn't think you'd have
a cream cheese callback, did ya?
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:That's
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:Laura: Look, we remember
that pilot really well.
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:Beth: are women from the Midwest.
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:We take our cream cheese
very fucking seriously
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:Glo: premium content you'll get on our
Patreon if we ever shut set one up.
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:Cream cheese.
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:Beth: Just gonna eat
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:Cream cheese taste test.
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:Patreon bonus content
you can unlock for 5.
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:Laura: So the other thing about
this scene that really gets me is
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:is demanding from the airwolf that
they let this woman go, right?
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:And these chucklefucks actually
seem to think about it and
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:think about not doing that.
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:And then they try to shoot
the airwolf, but I'm like, is
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:everyone in the world an idiot?
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:Beth: Everyone in this particular
town, , seems to be an idiot.
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:Yes.
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:Laura: Yeah,
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:Beth: of lead in this
particular town, quite high.
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:Laura: this is lead times, isn't it?
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:Like, gas is still leaded and stuff.
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:Beth: This was the lead of times,
this was the lead of times.
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:As Charles Dickens
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:totally said,
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:Laura: Yeah, everyone who is faced
with Stringfellow Hawk making a
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:demand from the Airwolf should be
just shitting their pants, right?
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:Beth: an helicopter with a gun the size
of your entire body, and then some, is
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:all Let her go, or I'm gonna shoot ya.
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:You fuckin you know, let her go.
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:He says, I want cream
cheese for this bagel.
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:You get him like five tubs of cream
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:cheese.
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:Laura: You ask, would you like whipped?
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:Oh
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:Beth: but yeah.
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:Okay.
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:And then the chuckle fox as
Laura, so aptly put them go
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:back to the sheriff and go.
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:It was a UFO.
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:So again, high concentration
of lead in this town.
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:Laura: One, one last
thing about that scene.
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:Beth: Oh, I'm so sorry.
450
:Laura: No, this is important
because it is hysterical.
451
:So I don't know if you caught
it, but when the airwolf destroys
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:their truck in response to their
stupidity, you can see the cord that
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:is pulling the truck to roll it.
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:Glo: No!
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:Laura: Like, we
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:Beth: Oh, quality programming.
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:Laura: Rewound it might be one of those
artifacts of we have really great TVs
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:now, so we see this shit.
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:But,
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:Glo: Whoa.
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:Laura: it, you should
definitely go back and watch
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:Beth: I think I'm gonna go back.
463
:Maybe we should recreate
that with a truck.
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:Glo: But that means I gotta go
back and watch this episode again.
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:Laura: I didn't write down a timestamp
I should have, so you could just go
466
:straight there and just be like, ha ha ha.
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:Beth: We could recreate it from our
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:memories, and then
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:do it ourselves, and watch it.
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:I just want to roll a
truck with a string, okay?
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:Laura: hmm.
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:Sounds fun.
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:Beth: Chaos Gremlin unlocked!
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:Okay after that, all the chuckle
fucks go back to the big game hunting
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:place, Where the sheriff still is.
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:And go, it was a UFO.
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:It looked nothing like a UFO.
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:I don't know how we got there, but sure.
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:Laura: Yeah.
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:The big game hunter, Mr.
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:Tiger King heckles them and I really
liked this and I was like, whenever
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:I'm feeling folksy and want to
insult someone, I should do this.
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:But he says that they have the brains
of a dead armadillo between them.
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:Beth: yes, yes, yes.
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:That was like my favorite line.
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:I screamed at it.
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:Like everyone who was at my house.
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:And then, after they leave,
we find out that dude, Mr.
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:Joe Exotic, his name is Mr.
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:Houston.
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:Laura: course, because he's from Texas.
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:There's no other, yeah.
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:Beth: He's besties with the sheriff,
and they're sitting there, and
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:they're talking, and then he's like,
Hey, do you sell that escaped biker?
495
:Because I got somebody who wants to hunt
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:Glo: Dude, and I put down, in
all caps, MOST DANGEROUS GAME,
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:question mark, question mark?
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:Beth: Ha ha ha!
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:And then at that point, I started
calling the hunter guy at the beginning
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:of it, Ted Nugent, because if anyone
hunts humans for sport, it's Ted Nugent.
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:I'm sure of it.
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:And then he says that that he's
looking to get into the people hunting
503
:business because he can charge a
hundred thousand dollars a pop,
504
:basically, for it.
505
:And so I, of course, converted
that into today money.
506
:You're looking at two hundred and
two thousand seven hundred and thirty
507
:three dollars, which just does not
508
:Glo: That seems low.
509
:Beth: Like,
510
:Glo: Yeah.
511
:I think there would be a lot more people
hunting, honestly, if it was that cheap.
512
:Beth: I'm saying, shouldn't
it be like five million?
513
:I
514
:Laura: Yeah, I think you gotta
be able to like, buy yourself a
515
:small villa somewhere for each
516
:person, yeah, yeah.
517
:Beth: Yeah, The s the supply
has gotta be low for that
518
:because you gotta kidnap, right?
519
:Laura: There's so much
520
:Beth: transport.
521
:Laura: very high risk, like
lots of places things go wrong,
522
:Glo: I just wouldn't
want to do that in Texas.
523
:I don't know.
524
:When I think of the most dangerous game, I
want to be like in the jungle, an island.
525
:I don't know.
526
:Have you guys read the book?
527
:I've read that story.
528
:I've taught it a million times
as an English teacher, but
529
:okay.
530
:Yeah.
531
:It's
532
:Beth: Yeah, I I feel like that's
why you purchase a private
533
:Laura: Yeah.
534
:Beth: if Leonardo DiCaprio invites
you to his private island, don't go.
535
:Glo: Right.
536
:Beth: That
537
:is moral of the story.
538
:Laura: Yeah, pretty much any billionaire
invites you to their private island.
539
:Maybe think about that a
540
:Yeah.
541
:Beth: like five tasers, a
542
:hunting knife,
543
:Laura: if you get invited to a
very rich person's ranch in Texas,
544
:maybe also think about that.
545
:Yeah.
546
:Beth: invites you anywhere, don't go, just
547
:Laura: Yeah.
548
:These are good rules for life.
549
:We're really helping
550
:people here.
551
:Yeah.
552
:Beth: We are, we're helping you
553
:Glo: get hunted.
554
:Beth: stay out of danger, yes, not get
555
:hunted
556
:Glo: not reinsferred yourself.
557
:Beth: Alright then Stringfellow wanders
into the bar, and after fucking levitating
558
:to the bar, As far as I can tell,
the sheriff arrests him for drinking
559
:a beer in a bar while being from out
of town and not having an ID on him.
560
:Laura: he does the papers please
561
:thing, and Stringfellow's ID is gone
562
:Beth: And he's all like,
how'd you get here?
563
:And Stringfellow's like, I hitched.
564
:He's like, okay, well now you're arrested.
565
:Laura: yeah, what a
566
:simple
567
:time.
568
:Beth: Yeah.
569
:But yeah I assume he hunts him,
er, I assume he arrests him so that
570
:he can use him to hunt for sport
571
:later.
572
:Laura: that's the
intention all along, right?
573
:This guy's from out of town, nobody
knows him, nobody gives a shit what
574
:happens to him he's great material.
575
:Beth: He doesn't even have an ID on
576
:him, like, fuck
577
:Glo: Dang, guys,
578
:Beth: Ohio may be for lovers, but Pope
County is for fascists and people hunting.
579
:Glo: I wonder how much
people hunting happens.
580
:Is it this easy to set up?
581
:Beth: There was that one guy in
582
:Canada, Robert Hanson, I think was his
583
:Laura: I'm sorry,
584
:what?
585
:Beth: Um.
586
:He was a serial killer.
587
:There's a a Nicolas Cage,
John Cusack movie about it
588
:called Frozen Ground, I think.
589
:But, he chose sex workers and
would fly them out in his plane.
590
:Oh no, it was in Alaska.
591
:And he'd fly them out to the wilderness.
592
:In his plane, drop them in the middle
of nowhere and hunt them, basically.
593
:And of course it took them forever
594
:because cops will not look
for Marginalized people.
595
:So anyway I know that was
a thing that happened.
596
:I just don't think it's probably
a thing that happens often.
597
:I like
598
:to think.
599
:Laura: Yeah statistically, it's
probably an extremely we're much
600
:more likely to die in a car accident
than a plane accident kind of thing.
601
:Much more likely to be struck
by lightning than bit by a
602
:shark or whatever, but still.
603
:It's probably a non zero amount,
which is a little distressing.
604
:Beth: Yeah, like that's the thing.
605
:I don't want to look up the
actual statistics because I
606
:will just freak myself out.
607
:Laura: Well, and then the statistics
are only based on people who've
608
:been ca I should stop talking.
609
:Oh,
610
:Beth: I would be a terrible criminal.
611
:I have way too
612
:much anxiety.
613
:Laura: Yeah.
614
:No.
615
:I can't keep track of stuff.
616
:Like, to lie, you have to keep
617
:Beth: then you have
618
:Laura: information, guys.
619
:Beth: god, forget it.
620
:And
621
:then
622
:Laura: power is elsewhere.
623
:Beth: where that shit is?
624
:I'm not gonna remember.
625
:I don't know what happened this morning!
626
:Shit!
627
:Okay so cut to Dom having
a full blown conversation
628
:with Airwolf.
629
:I am now 100 percent
sure that Dom has fucked
630
:that helicopter.
631
:Glo: Duh!
632
:No!
633
:Beth: no, he's fucked
634
:that helicopter, He has, he has JD Vanced
635
:with that helicopter,
636
:Glo: See, I'm thinking Stringfellow maybe
637
:Beth: for
638
:Glo: played it a cello solo or something,
639
:Laura: yeah, he's definitely serenaded
640
:the helicopter.
641
:Beth: So has Dom, with his penis.
642
:Laura: Is it me or does Airwolf
look smaller than like in the pilot?
643
:I felt like in the pilot.
644
:Airwolf had seven guys on board
doing stuff at consoles and stuff.
645
:And now in this one, it was like big,
it was small enough that Dom's just
646
:like throwing the cape canopy over
it or whatever, to try to hide it.
647
:And I was like, it seems a
lot different than the pilot.
648
:Beth: It's possible, maybe their
budget got cut in half because
649
:they were like, the show's bad.
650
:we're only gonna give you half the budget.
651
:Laura: Maybe it's just
me, but it seemed smaller,
652
:Beth: I don't know, it seemed smaller.
653
:I'm on board with that.
654
:Laura: but she has a coffee maker.
655
:You guys, because Dom is making himself a
coffee when he gets surprised by a lion.
656
:Beth: He has the correct idea,
which is hide in the helicopter,
657
:whereas my dumb ass would be like,
I can make friends with this lion.
658
:I can fix him.
659
:Laura: can't fix the lion, guys.
660
:That's lesson number four.
661
:Beth: Don't be Beth.
662
:Don't try to make friends with that lion.
663
:You'll live a lot longer.
664
:If I could just get underneath that lion's
chin with my fingies, I could give him
665
:little chin scritches, and then he'd
purr, and then we'd be best friends.
666
:I'm just saying, it could happen.
667
:Anyway, Caitlin flies to
the sheriff's station in her
668
:helicopter with a court order,
669
:like a bad bitch, to produce
the Jimmy Blake Biker.
670
:Deputy Dumbass is shocked
that Stringfellow's real
671
:name isn't also Jimmy Blake,
672
:which is what Stringfellow
told them it was.
673
:And he was all like,
You lied to the sheriff?
674
:Like how many James Blakes do
you think are fucking running
675
:around, Deputy Dumbass?
676
:Laura: like Deputy
677
:Dumbass.
678
:He's just incredible.
679
:Beth: But anyway, so then we cut back
to Dom screaming at Sam the lion, who's
680
:yelling back because if a human is
going WAAAHH at you, you're gonna WAAAHH
681
:right back at him and it seems right.
682
:So yeah, and then we and then we go
back to Stringfellow who has figured
683
:out that Caitlin is the woman he saved.
684
:She's all What do you mean
you didn't get a phone call?
685
:And he's all I didn't.
686
:And she's, yeah.
687
:Laura: Yeah.
688
:Stringfellow tries to get her to just
let him go, but she's a real Ben Curley
689
:type, and she's not going to do that.
690
:But she will do the phone
691
:Glo: Really though I wrote down well,
yeah, he is a she is a very much like
692
:my husband I also put down paladin
exclamation point for Kate for Caitlyn.
693
:She is our paladin.
694
:Beth: I put down Lawful
695
:Good Ben Curley.
696
:Glo: If anybody listens to Last
Time On, he is your internet dad.
697
:Beth: Sometimes he's my real
dad, because he was all like,
698
:Beth, change your wiper blades.
699
:Glo: Wait, does that make you my daughter?
700
:I love it.
701
:Beth: Yeah, canonically I am the daughter
702
:Glo: I'm here for it.
703
:Laura: String blows in his phone
call back to Dom on the Airwolf,
704
:because Airwolf also has a car phone.
705
:Beth: Yeah,
706
:Laura: The bag phone.
707
:You guys
708
:remember the
709
:Beth: big Yeah, oh yeah.
710
:Laura: Huh yeah.
711
:Dom has his own problems
because the lions are circling.
712
:, but it all doesn't matter
because the sheriff pulls his
713
:gun on Caitlin and String.
714
:Beth: And he immediately takes
Caitlyn to jail and tells
715
:Stringfellow they're going hunting.
716
:Laura: And we've confirmed Jimmy, the
real Jimmy Blake is 100 percent dead.
717
:Beth: Just
718
:shot him in cold blood.
719
:Laura: Yeah, off screen.
720
:R.
721
:I.
722
:P.
723
:Beth: Cause only, the only thing that
can be on screen in the show is grape.
724
:Glo: Yeah.
725
:Beth: that's totally
normal, not at all weird.
726
:Laura: Speaking of not at all weird
the rich guy who's paying 100, 000
727
:to hunt Stringfellow Hawk basically
talks about wanting to live his
728
:fantasies of what Vietnam would have
been like if he hadn't dodged the
729
:Glo: Yes.
730
:Laura: is insane.
731
:This man is
732
:insane.
733
:And
734
:Beth: good move on the writer's part
because it's like, yeah, we're totally
735
:saying that big game hunters are cowards.
736
:That's a thousand percent
what we're saying.
737
:What are you going to do about it?
738
:In 1984,
739
:Laura: I think this is probably calling
out a certain type of man in the 80s.
740
:It's there's.
741
:probably a lot of this type of man who's
just like, well, if I had gone to Vietnam,
742
:I would have been the hero or whatever.
743
:And
744
:Glo: down there Rambo.
745
:Laura: Yeah.
746
:This weird glorification of that
conflict is something I think they're
747
:actually like calling attention to and
is more than I expected of the show.
748
:Beth: Yeah, and it's honestly beautifully
749
:done.
750
:Laura: It's subversive almost
sometimes, you know, like we have
751
:this, Really macho dude show.
752
:And sometimes it'll make
the secret feminism.
753
:And I think this isn't secret feminism.
754
:Is it?
755
:What is this?
756
:Or like a secret rewriting
of masculinity or something?
757
:I don't know.
758
:It's very interesting.
759
:Glo: self aware somehow So where it's
like the show woke up for a second and
760
:then it goes back to sleep But it's it
there is some Interesting progressive
761
:clarity at some times in this show.
762
:Beth: Yeah.
763
:Yeah.
764
:They're really, and I feel like
this episode was a bit more
765
:cohesive than the first season.
766
:Like I think that the writing was better
767
:Glo: Was definitely a lot more palatable.
768
:It felt like, Oh, it's already over,
where it was the same amount of
769
:time as the other ones that we had
770
:Laura: mm hmm,
771
:Glo: definitely felt like, Oh,
there was an actual story to
772
:this one that was pretty decent.
773
:Beth: There was a
beginning, a middle, and an
774
:Laura: mm hmm,
775
:Beth: All of the sexual
assault, personally.
776
:But,
777
:Glo: give your hounds some meat sometimes.
778
:Beth: Oh,
779
:we haven't gotten there yet, Glo.
780
:So,
781
:That also hits on why
Deputy Dumbass is on my
782
:shit list.
783
:But The sheriff pulls up and deputizes
the hunter and says that, someone, that
784
:he's got an escaped fugitive on the loose
and he needs to go find him, so this
785
:way the hunter can kill him legally,
basically and the hunter and Houston
786
:eventually catch up to Hawk, who's
running around the desert, basically and
787
:meanwhile, The sheriff returns to the
sheriff's department and tells Deputy
788
:Dumbass to go get the gang of gross.
789
:When the deputy asks if the sheriff
really has to do that, the sheriff
790
:says, When you've got a good pack
of hounds, you've gotta give them
791
:some meat every now and then.
792
:Laura: This is disgusting obviously
for a whole bunch of reasons, right?
793
:But the other reason in here that
I'm disgusted is these goons.
794
:are not any sort of law enforcement.
795
:They're just like his off the books guys
that he does, has to do stuff, you know?
796
:Beth: His enforcers, yeah.
797
:Every fascist has them!
798
:Yeah, and this is where my issue
with Deputy Dumbass comes in.
799
:Because he's Oh, don't do that!
800
:And then the little weenie
spineless little motherfucker Like,
801
:just goes and gets him, knowing
full well it's gonna happen.
802
:Laura: Yeah.
803
:He doesn't have enough brain cells
to rub together and try to figure
804
:out something out of this yet.
805
:Yeah.
806
:Beth: They go grab the goons, or they
go grab, we can't say that anymore.
807
:He goes grabs the gang
808
:of
809
:Glo: can't say goons?
810
:Beth: No,
811
:Laura: Oh, oops.
812
:I definitely
813
:did.
814
:Beth: Well, goon, I don't think
it's racist, but goon and gooning is
815
:something involving off or something
816
:Glo: my, yeah, my students definitely use
that as a sex term now, not a, yeah, this
817
:is glow high school teacher over here.
818
:Yeah, gooning means
something totally different.
819
:So if you say goon squad,
they're going to think
820
:Beth: They're gonna think
821
:you're in a
822
:literal circle, Jerk.
823
:Glo: Shout out to our Gen
824
:Beth: maybe you are.
825
:Like,
826
:no judgment,
827
:Laura: work on two levels then?
828
:Like I don't know.
829
:Beth: I guess.
830
:With them it does.
831
:Laura: Yeah.
832
:Beth: Anyway.
833
:It's at this point that Dom rolls up
in Airwolf, flips the zebra print jeep.
834
:What the
835
:Laura: Yeah,
836
:Beth: And
837
:Laura: King, I'm telling ya.
838
:Beth: yeah, it really,
it's giving Tiger King.
839
:And the hunter guy dies immediately.
840
:And The Houston guy ends up with a broken
841
:leg at the
842
:paws of a very angry Sam the Lion.
843
:Laura: Yeah.
844
:Cut to those idiots in the jail cell
laughing about their impending gang
845
:rape and Caitlin kicks one of them
in the ass, but now she's emasculated
846
:him yeah, he's got to take her down.
847
:He tackles her.
848
:But then, suddenly, Airwolf!
849
:Glo: Yay, Airwolf.
850
:Beth: So at this point
Stringfellow's like, give us Caitlyn.
851
:We're gonna shoot ya after he blows
up the dude's car cuz fuck yeah
852
:And what does what is the response
853
:Laura: The sheriff decides to kill
854
:And Deputy Dumbass finally grows his pair.
855
:Beth: better
856
:late than never I
857
:guess
858
:Laura: some of us
859
:are just late bloomers, that's all.
860
:And String shoots up the whole
jail because the sheriff won't
861
:stop shooting at him, mm.
862
:Glo: okay, can you guys
help me straighten this out?
863
:Okay.
864
:Okay.
865
:Caitlin does look like she's like.
866
:Straightening her pants?
867
:So did this happen?
868
:Beth: I think it did,
869
:Glo: she just bounces back and she's just
ready to go to action like holy shit.
870
:Beth: yeah.
871
:And that whole scene just made me really
sick to my stomach because of that.
872
:And also because of how chill
Deputy Dumbass and the Sheriff
873
:were while they were hearing her
874
:screams.
875
:Laura: Mm
876
:Glo: Okay.
877
:All right.
878
:Laura: Yeah, so she
gets to her helicopter,
879
:Beth: Yes.
880
:Deputy Dumbass gets her to a helicopter.
881
:She's in there safely.
882
:And then he gets shot to death by
the sheriff before the sheriff gets
883
:blown up with all of his hounds
884
:Laura: catch that he got shot to death.
885
:Beth: Yeah,
886
:it's like a super quick
887
:Glo: I didn't I don't even
have that in my notes.
888
:Laura: Everything is very fast paced here
889
:Beth: Which, I think that's the other
thing that made this interesting.
890
:episode more palatable than
season one was the pacing.
891
:The pacing was significantly better.
892
:For all the shit I gave the editor
earlier, I do understand why we did a big
893
:long drawn out flight scene because it's
the first time Airwolf is taking flight
894
:in season two you gotta make it cool.
895
:But the pacing this first episode of the
season was, I think, significantly better.
896
:And it made it easier to watch,
897
:Laura: Yeah.
898
:Beth: some extent.
899
:Then Caitlin flies her helicopter next to
Airwolf and is all like, Thanks y'all but
900
:I'm still Deputy Ben Curley, so I gotta
arrest you for blowing up the sheriff's
901
:office and killing all those people.
902
:And
903
:Glo: Ben Curley
904
:Beth: he's all LOL.
905
:Laura: Yeah.
906
:I'm a helicopter jet, ma'am.
907
:Beth: It's like, I can't.
908
:I can't.
909
:You break it up.
910
:And then he zooms off.
911
:Laura: And Santini gives him
some shit about how cute that
912
:lady was, and sings the yellow
rose of Texas to ending montage.
913
:Beth: Yes,
914
:Which I'd only ever heard
in wrestling context.
915
:So that was interesting to
hear it outside of that Yeah,
916
:Laura: That's funny.
917
:Beth: because one of the Von Eriks
I think was called the yellow
918
:rose of Texas So I've heard it
in that context, but that's it
919
:Laura: Interesting.
920
:And scene.
921
:Beth: and
922
:Glo: That was sweet britches, guys.
923
:Beth: Britches
924
:Laura: Yep.
925
:Beth: I feel bad about the cinnamon
roll I drew at the top of the
926
:episode now, my episode notes.
927
:Laura: If only.
928
:If only it had been cinnamon rolls.
929
:Beth: I was so excited, I was hoping that
it would just be a cinnamon roll shop,
930
:Glo: I am gonna say that I love
this new character in Caitlyn.
931
:I think she's great.
932
:She's definitely got that, I don't
know, Princess Diana vibe to her look,
933
:but also Manic Pixie Dream Girl, but
also has a head on her shoulders.
934
:She's interesting.
935
:Yeah.
936
:Laura: Do we think we get
to keep Caitlyn, though?
937
:Beth: I think we do, cause
she's in the opening credits,
938
:like she's not, cause and I thought,
maybe that's how they're doing guest
939
:stars now, but then there's the guest
starring thing and she's not in that.
940
:She's like in the opening
credits So I think
941
:and it would give I think a little
bit more balance to it because
942
:you've got Dom full chaos gremlin
943
:Laura: Huh.
944
:Beth: Stringfellow emo weird boy.
945
:You need like you need deputy Ben
946
:Laura: You know what I
want from Caitlin now?
947
:I want her to be like
Stringfellow's Javert, right?
948
:Am I getting the, I'm not
getting the characters confused.
949
:I
950
:Glo: Heard following him.
951
:Laura: yes.
952
:Glo: man
953
:a fugitive
954
:Laura: him down.
955
:Beth: Dude
956
:Glo: That would be
957
:Laura: I would love that for her.
958
:Give me that.
959
:Beth: That'd be so cute, but they
sass each other the whole time?
960
:Laura: There's a little sexual
tension there, which you don't
961
:really get from the other
962
:story.
963
:Yeah,
964
:Glo: obviously beautiful, right?
965
:She's obviously somebody who you know,
they could have crushes on they could
966
:have a conquest, but she's not overtly
sexy so They almost give her the girl
967
:next door, cute little sister vibes.
968
:So I think that there definitely
will be sexual tension going on.
969
:But not so much that she's like the other
female characters that Stringfellow has
970
:been into where it's just this smoldering,
971
:yeah, like Gabrielle or the smoldering,
sexy kind of thing that makes
972
:the women have to get killed off.
973
:Yeah.
974
:Laura: I think we've hurt
975
:Beth.
976
:She is dying back
977
:Beth: You didn't betray me!
978
:It was the wine!
979
:wine betrayed me!
980
:Laura: Yeah.
981
:Curses.
982
:Beth: No I think you're right.
983
:I think this is going to be a
very like will they or won't
984
:they situation
985
:And my prediction is that in the
final episode of the series They're
986
:gonna end up together, but not until
then, because before then, she'll
987
:Glo: Oh!
988
:Beth: I think he'll get
his happy ever after
989
:with
990
:Laura: Yeah, he's got to get
his brother back first though.
991
:He's really focused on the brother.
992
:Beth: Get Saint John
993
:Glo: Oh, St.
994
:John.
995
:St.
996
:Laura: Yeah.
997
:I still can't believe I
didn't know that was a thing.
998
:Glo: All right, Beth.
999
:What are we watching next?
:
00:41:59,889 --> 00:42:02,119
Laura: Yeah, you've got
to calculate for us.
:
00:42:02,119 --> 00:42:04,179
Do our magic millennial math.
:
00:42:04,179 --> 00:42:04,329
Beth: Okay,
:
00:42:05,079 --> 00:42:07,229
Laura: the rules of the ancient ways.
:
00:42:07,229 --> 00:42:11,629
Glo: For those of you just tuning in,
we do a MASH game because we're girls
:
00:42:12,459 --> 00:42:12,669
Laura: Of a
:
00:42:12,669 --> 00:42:12,999
certain
:
00:42:12,999 --> 00:42:13,359
age.
:
00:42:13,399 --> 00:42:14,109
Glo: age, right?
:
00:42:14,109 --> 00:42:17,089
It's a very scientific formula
that we've come up with for
:
00:42:17,089 --> 00:42:19,319
choosing our next episode.
:
00:42:19,319 --> 00:42:19,819
Beth: Alright.
:
00:42:19,819 --> 00:42:20,089
Great.
:
00:42:20,089 --> 00:42:22,209
Okay, I believe it is Glow's turn.
:
00:42:22,859 --> 00:42:24,069
Glo: Okay, what do I gotta do?
:
00:42:24,069 --> 00:42:25,779
Beth: Tell me when to stop the spiral.
:
00:42:26,029 --> 00:42:27,039
Glo: two, one, stop!
:
00:42:27,039 --> 00:42:30,799
Beth: Two, three, four,
five, six, seven, eight.
:
00:42:30,799 --> 00:42:34,579
Okay, we're gonna watch,
we're skipping three episodes.
:
00:42:35,129 --> 00:42:39,899
That is putting us at Season 2, episode 4.
:
00:42:39,899 --> 00:42:40,949
I don't know what it is.
:
00:42:41,209 --> 00:42:42,359
I'm gonna go grab my phone that I
:
00:42:42,359 --> 00:42:42,729
threw.
:
00:42:42,919 --> 00:42:43,239
Hold on.
:
00:42:43,779 --> 00:42:46,049
Laura: I have the power of
the internet right here.
:
00:42:46,249 --> 00:42:46,909
Let me just
:
00:42:47,169 --> 00:42:48,419
Beth: I have the power of the internet.
:
00:42:48,419 --> 00:42:49,679
It's just on the floor.
:
00:42:49,959 --> 00:42:54,219
Laura: I'm showing that season
two, episode four, right?
:
00:42:54,219 --> 00:42:56,739
Would be, The Truth About Holly.
:
00:42:56,789 --> 00:42:57,569
Beth: Oh, it looks like it's
:
00:42:57,764 --> 00:43:03,284
Laura: don't 100 percent know, but the
description says, Rescued from a drug
:
00:43:03,284 --> 00:43:09,244
kingpin with Hawk's help, Santini's niece
becomes increasingly jealous of Caitlin.
:
00:43:09,244 --> 00:43:12,294
Glo: is it because Caitlyn
and Stringfellow have a thing?
:
00:43:12,294 --> 00:43:17,374
Or is it because Santini is taking Caitlyn
under his wing and treats her like family?
:
00:43:18,219 --> 00:43:22,099
Beth: Is it because they did finally
start that cinnamon roll shop?
:
00:43:22,099 --> 00:43:26,942
And Holly doesn't get as
many cinnamon rolls as
:
00:43:27,067 --> 00:43:27,667
Glo: Hmm.
:
00:43:27,804 --> 00:43:28,004
Laura: If
:
00:43:28,049 --> 00:43:30,339
Beth: Or hers have half
the amount of icing?
:
00:43:30,484 --> 00:43:33,544
Glo: But you guys know, this
means that Caitlyn comes back.
:
00:43:33,604 --> 00:43:35,804
Laura: Yeah, this is confirmed right here.
:
00:43:36,343 --> 00:43:37,343
Glo: that makes me happy.
:
00:43:37,843 --> 00:43:41,393
Beth: It would be a weird fakeout to
have her in the opening credits and then
:
00:43:41,393 --> 00:43:42,403
to never see her again.
:
00:43:42,993 --> 00:43:43,583
For sure.
:
00:43:43,763 --> 00:43:47,033
Laura: I wouldn't put it past the Strode
to just have poorly structured credits,
:
00:43:47,033 --> 00:43:47,513
Beth: that is
:
00:43:47,558 --> 00:43:50,248
Glo: This Holly lady sounds
pretty expendable, though.
:
00:43:50,353 --> 00:43:50,753
Beth: women.
:
00:43:51,303 --> 00:43:51,703
She's
:
00:43:52,303 --> 00:43:52,813
maybe.
:
00:43:52,943 --> 00:43:54,843
Glo: gonna get our hogtie count up again?
:
00:43:54,843 --> 00:43:57,543
But
:
00:43:57,643 --> 00:43:59,403
Beth: Ho, ho, ho, ho!
:
00:43:59,723 --> 00:44:00,833
Laura: kingpin, right?
:
00:44:00,863 --> 00:44:04,523
We rescue, if we rescue her from
the drug kingpin in this episode,
:
00:44:04,523 --> 00:44:06,863
we could potentially have some
:
00:44:07,073 --> 00:44:07,823
Beth: A hogtie.
:
00:44:07,883 --> 00:44:14,553
Glo: it doesn't fall into our
western spy Nazi category, so
:
00:44:14,553 --> 00:44:15,043
Maybe.
:
00:44:15,303 --> 00:44:17,943
Laura: Yeah where is
this drug kingpin setting
:
00:44:17,973 --> 00:44:20,074
that could, Influence it, or
:
00:44:20,164 --> 00:44:21,194
Beth: Is it in the West?
:
00:44:21,449 --> 00:44:24,379
Laura: yeah what level
of spyage do we need to
:
00:44:24,514 --> 00:44:30,484
Beth: He's gonna travel back in time to
::
00:44:30,888 --> 00:44:31,508
Glo: All right.
:
00:44:31,868 --> 00:44:33,058
You heard it here, folks.
:
00:44:33,058 --> 00:44:33,848
Beth: Alright!
:
00:44:33,898 --> 00:44:35,668
Well, thanks for listening.
:
00:44:35,908 --> 00:44:37,058
Come back next week.
:
00:44:37,058 --> 00:44:37,658
Okay, bye!
:
00:44:37,903 --> 00:44:38,553
Glo: Bye, guys.
:
00:44:38,923 --> 00:44:39,813
Laura: Bye!