S2 E5 Walker: Little Chorus of Chuck Norris
This week's episode, the girl's discuss money laundering, bingo halls, and the show's truly heinous theme song. Get comfy in your bathrobe, pull up a rocking chair, and get ready to discuss Season 3, Episode 11 "The Big Bingo Bamboozle."
Transcript
Also like, I know the show is called Walker, Texas
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:Ranger, but I'm just gonna say it.
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:I feel like this show is, would be
better without Walker, Texas Ranger.
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:mabel: Oh good.
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:We are recording.
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:I was like, we needed
to catch that on pod.
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:So good, good, good.
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:elaines money: Welcome to Cool Girls.
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:You don't.
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:Welcome to Cool Girls.
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:Shit.
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:glo: blah, blah, blah.
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:elaines money: more time.
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:glo: Bloopers.
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:elaines money: to Cool.
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:glo: Sorry.
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:elaines money: It's okay.
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:You'd think by the second
season I'd have this down.
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:Welcome to Cool Girls.
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:Don't look at Explosions where we watch
dude tv, but quickly, because we blacked
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:out at a, Barnes and Noble bought a
ton of books and now have to read them.
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:glo: Hmm.
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:I,
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:mabel: like a great day though.
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:elaines money: It was a great day.
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:There was this guy, the manager
at the Barnes and Noble was just
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:like, 'cause like my rule at the
time was like, okay, I can only
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:have as many books as I can carry.
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:then the Barnes Noble guy is of
course, like, here, have a basket.
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:Don't you want a basket
for all those books?
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:I was like, oh no, it's okay.
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:I could carry it.
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:And he's like, there's a
holiday weekend coming up.
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:I'm just saying, and
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:glo: Oh.
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:elaines money: this man.
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:mabel: Hi, this is Laura.
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:My Barnes and Noble doesn't have baskets.
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:glo: Whoa.
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:elaines money: Oh,
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:glo: What are they?
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:elaines money: is
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:mabel: don't think I've ever seen that.
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:Yeah.
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:glo: What the
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:elaines money: it 'cause the literacy rate
of children has gone down significantly
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:according to all of my classes.
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:glo: They, they don't, they
don't need more than a handful
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:of books here in Oklahoma.
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:mabel: Yeah.
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:We, we only need the Bible.
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:That's the important one.
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:Right?
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:glo: mm-hmm.
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:elaines money: You don't
need a basket for the Bible.
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:Jesus helps you carry your load.
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:glo: No, man, they got,
they got them pocket Bibles.
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:elaines money: Shit.
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:Really?
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:Oh yeah, that would make
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:mabel: Those are only the New
Testament, though usually.
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:glo: you, you'd be surprised guys.
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:I had a Bible that was about, no,
I had a bible about this big guys.
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:Remember I was a camp counselor,
Christian camp counselor.
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:I had a very small bib.
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:elaines money: Is that how, how thick it
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:glo: No, like it was about this,
this thick I'm showing about, I
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:don't know, a thumb and then, I
don't know, like two packs of cards.
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:elaines money: Okay,
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:glo: It was real small.
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:elaines money: fit that in your pocket.
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:Yeah, yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:I just feel like
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:the religious people should be on the side
of women having pockets because then women
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:can carry their pocket bibles, their,
their pockets, you know what I mean?
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:Yeah.
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:Unless women aren't allowed to
read, unless this is like full
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:Handmaid's Tale, I don't know.
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:glo: This is cool.
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:Girls carry Bibles in their pockets.
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:This is, no, no, I don't think it is.
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:elaines money: Ooh.
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:No,
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:mabel: Probably the opposite of that,
but we should still introduce ourselves.
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:glo: I'm Glo.
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:elaines money: Oh shit.
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:I'm Beth
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:mabel: And I'm Laura.
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:glo: I'm Glo, I'm, oh shit.
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:And I'm Laura.
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:elaines money: and I'm Cramp
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:Tramp.
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:Cramp.
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:Cramp,
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:mabel: Hit me.
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:Look, this is snacky cast because
Beth has her cup of tea that
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:was just delivered hot off the
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:elaines money: and a booby mug.
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:glo: Aw,
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:mabel: in the booby mug
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:glo: titty.
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:mabel: Just had a Popsicle, and I have
ice cream and a very tiny glass of wine.
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:elaines money: I do believe he
slips some whiskey into this
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:glo: Hey.
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:All right.
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:mabel: Okay,
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:elaines money: time for Beth CBD.
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:Hot Toddie.
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:mabel: I would've never thought of that.
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:On my own ever in the universe.
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:I mean, I'm just so like
segmented about some things.
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:Like this thing is only
this thing, you know?
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:And then when somebody shows
me, you can put two things
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:together, my mind is just blown.
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:elaines money: Same.
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:Same, same.
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:glo: don't tell her about
ice cream sandwiches.
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:elaines money: Oh shit.
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:glo: I think we've had a
double dose of Walker this
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:week and I'm not better for it.
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:elaines money: dude.
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:mabel: Yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:This one was at least, I don't know.
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:It was, it was funnier in some ways.
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:glo: It was very fun because we had
a leading woman that really like
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:made it a cute episode, I think.
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:mabel: can chew it up.
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:Yes, yes, yes.
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:Um.
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:elaines money: Yeah.
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:She is like charming.
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:mabel: But before we get into that,
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:elaines money: Yes.
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:mabel: we have to talk about
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:glo: I.
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:mabel: monstrosity.
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:That is the new Walker
Texas Ranger theme song.
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:elaines money: Okay.
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:I don't know if either of you have
experienced the Macho Man, Randy Savage.
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:Whoa, shit.
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:Oh fuck.
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:Uh, for everybody at Home Glow,
just hell up her notes and it just
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:says, oh fuck in big block letters.
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:Um, so definitely go to
YouTube and look this up.
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:We'll post it in the Discord.
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:Laura's notes also say, oh fuck.
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:Nope.
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:They say OMG.
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:This is this.
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:Worse
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:glo: This worse.
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:elaines money: in big block
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:glo: Your notes are so nice, Laura
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:elaines money: I know.
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:Today we learned that Laura
has stunning handwriting.
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:mabel: no.
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:glo: Pro
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:mabel: It's the colors.
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:The colors, fool.
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:You.
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:elaines money: Yeah, it's very pretty.
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:But yeah, we'll drop it in the discord.
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:If you hear rattling in the background,
that's just me refilling my pill case.
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:Uh, 'cause I'm elderly and mentally ill.
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:mabel: Yeah.
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:No, I have to, I have to have it.
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:Tell me which ones I take in the
morning and which ones I take at night.
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:I, I broke my, well, oh, and broke
my old pill case and I got a new
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:one instead of being blue for the
evening and yellow for the daytime.
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:It's blue for the morning
and purple for the nighttime.
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:And guys, I have mixed
myself up so many times.
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:elaines money: uh, yes.
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:Mine is just light blue in the
morning and then dark blue in the
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:mabel: Oh, that is very nice.
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:elaines money: yeah.
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:Target.
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:This, this episode is brought
to you by SSRIs and Target.
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:Um,
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:glo: I too have a pill, uh,
container that I do, I do it.
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:And I got one of those really big
ones that do a whole month at a
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:time, so I only have to sit down.
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:But I only have to do all my pills
once a month and it's perfect.
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:elaines money: That is perfect.
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:I kinda love that.
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:But you know what's not perfect?
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:Uh, this theme song?
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:mabel: This theme song
is so far from perfect.
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:It might be on the other
end of whatever that is.
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:Yeah,
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:elaines money: I could be wrong,
but I am almost positive that
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:it is in fact, Chuck Norris.
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:Singing.
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:Singing.
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:Are we calling that
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:glo: talk, singing, and
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:mabel: there's a, there's
a name for that, guys.
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:This is where my music degree is
gonna come in handy for just a second.
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:Every, every now and
again, it gets to shine.
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:So this style of singing when
you're like half talking, half
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:singing, it was like made popular
by Lana, who was a German singer
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:glo: Hmm.
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:elaines money: Okay.
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:Word.
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:mabel: and not like super great,
but, um, it's called Rema.
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:So
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:glo: so
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:elaines money: The German language is
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:glo: Shrek means talk, right?
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:mabel: Yeah.
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:Shrek.
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:Mm-hmm.
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:And I'm, I'm not sure what
Jimma means exactly, but yeah,
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:it's basically talk toxing.
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:glo: sure.
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:Sounds like he's stemming
while he is doing it, so
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:elaines money: Yeah, he might be.
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:mabel: I mean, I was just so
baffled by this, like why did
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:we give this man the microphone?
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:Like.
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:I get, I, I'm sure it's because
he wanted this, you know?
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:Right.
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:Um,
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:elaines money: No, I think he,
he was like, look, I need to
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:win everything including pool
as we'll see in this episode.
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:Um, and also I need to have at least.
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:10 to 20 roundhouse kicks
to the face per episode.
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:And I also, if you want me to
keep doing this, have to sing
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:the theme song for the show.
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:Also write it because I'm
sure he wrote it because Yeah,
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:glo: pretty sure he was just
trying to go for that ego guys.
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:mabel: Right.
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:The, as I'm listening to this as
it's assaulting my being, uh, I
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:turned to Aaron and I'm like, I don't
think that's a choir behind him.
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:I think that they took his voice
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:glo: No, God no.
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:mabel: Lou like many times.
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:Yeah.
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:So it's a little choir of Chuck Norris's
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:elaines money: Because of course, because
if you're, if you've got that, your head
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:that far up your own ass, come on, you're
only gonna want a course of yourself.
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:glo: That, that is a working
title for this episode.
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:Little Course of Chuck Norris.
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:elaines money: Oh,
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:mabel: I was just, I,
and I think this is it.
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:Like this is the theme song
for the rest of the time.
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:Right.
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:elaines money: yep.
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:mabel: great.
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:glo: thank god for Skip intro.
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:elaines money: So when do you
guys think we're gonna go to Cease
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:and Desist from Chuck Norris?
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:Do you think it's gonna be like
the second episode of this podcast,
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:glo: be, it'll be after Dave Matthews
apologizes to Telequah, Oklahoma.
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:mabel: I think Chuck Norris should
have to apologize to Quah too.
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:I don't know why.
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:He just
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:elaines money: I think Chuck
Norris needs to apologize to
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:the entire United States of
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:glo: are there gay people in Qua?
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:mabel: Uh, yeah.
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:glo: sure there are.
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:mabel: Actually it's uh, they have
an organization called Equality.
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:glo: Aw,
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:mabel: Like, equality and Taliqua.
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:elaines money: super cute.
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:mabel: That is the best fucking name.
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:I love it so much.
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:Good job, guys.
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:glo: good.
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:elaines money: Okay, well now that
we've talked about that horrific, uh,
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:theme song, here we are back in hell
for another episode of Absolute Trash.
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:Okay.
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:We're starting in a bingo hall and
a shot of a lady with the coolest
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:fucking spectaculars I ever did see.
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:glo: This entire hall, guys, I
put down what a fashion vibe, like
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:mabel: Hey.
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:This place is great.
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:I'm watching this and I'm like, oh my God.
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:So, uh, did I ever tell you I, I did
the tribal audit for one of the Indian
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:nations here in the Oklahoma City
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:glo: no.
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:elaines money: no.
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:mabel: Yeah.
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:So tribal governments, a lot of 'em
get an audit from an audit firm, like,
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:you know, to show their citizens,
like we're upfront with how we spend
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:our money and blah, blah, blah.
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:And a lot of them have casinos here now.
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:But they started with bingo halls, right?
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:'cause we didn't have legal casino
gambling for a long time in the state,
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:but they were allowed to have bingo halls.
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:So the tribal nation that I audited,
they had, they had a really big casino
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:that's closer to like the interstate,
like a really nice one actually.
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:They, they put me up there while I
was pregnant and doing their audit.
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:And it was just real nice hotel.
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:No breakfast, like anywhere.
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:So I got to order room
service for breakfast.
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:It was
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:elaines money: Oh hell yeah.
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:mabel: But anyway, their tribal government
was near the, like the first bingo hall
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:and the bingo hall was still operating
and it had a really kick-ass lunch.
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:So every day we'd go over and have
kick-ass lunch at the bingo hall
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:and it looked exactly like this.
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:Like still like this.
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:Same chairs, same tables, same like vibes
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:glo: I love it.
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:elaines money: yeah.
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:mabel: every day at lunchtime there
would be like the ladies who were
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:staking out their place for when
bingo started later in the afternoon.
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:Like
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:elaines money: my God.
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:mabel: yeah, I had some
like real nostalgia as we're
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:starting in the bingo hall.
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:glo: guys.
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:I feel like if I really let
myself, I would be one of those
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:ladies because this kind of thing
gives me such a dopamine hit.
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:Like when we were at S-T-L-V-I, I did
not let myself sit down and boop, the
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:shiny boops, because once I boop, the
shiny boops, it's too much of a payoff.
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:elaines money: I get you.
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:Uh, it really sucks that you were
not there though, the year that it
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:was, it was the year I went with my
dad and my sister, so I didn't know
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:you guys yet, which is so wild to me.
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:So that would've
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:mabel: time before us
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:elaines money: there's
a time before y'all.
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:Yeah.
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:Ah,
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:mabel: I know.
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:elaines money: We went and it was 2021.
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:So it was like the first, um, it
was the first convention after
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:COVID, so like, it was kind of
empty and wasn't like super big yet.
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:And strange New worlds wasn't out yet.
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:So like, it was still pretty chill,
but because COVID was still a fear,
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:they couldn't do unhinged karaoke
with Dominic Keating and Connor
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:glo: Oh man.
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:mabel: no.
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:That's the best though.
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:elaines money: Oh, you guys, but
you know what they did instead.
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:Fucking bingo.
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:It's all coming around.
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:Yeah.
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:See there was a point to
the story the whole time.
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:Um, but yeah, so like they
did unhinged bingo and
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:it was hilarious.
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:glo: That sounds like so much fun.
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:elaines money: It was, it was very fun.
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:okay Laura?
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:mabel: I was trying to, I was trying to
like segue us, but then my brain stalled.
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:glo: You know?
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:You know what's not fun?
352
:Talking about this episode and
not about Star Trek Las Vegas.
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:There we
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:elaines money: Yeah.
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:That's why we're really stalling over
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:mabel: Yeah.
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:Yeah.
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:Uh, I do love that.
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:As we are living in this nineties
nostalgia, bingo, hall Walker, Texas
360
:Ranger just busts into to ruin our
good time because this is a bust.
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:glo: Yep.
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:elaines money: uh, so my notes
say people of all ages are playing
363
:the bingo, and why wouldn't they?
364
:It's hella fun.
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:And who shows up to suck the fun?
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:None.
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:The, none other than Texas
Rangers led by Walker's.
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:Boomer ass.
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:glo: Yeah, at least t's there.
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:mabel: Yeah, T's there.
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:T's cool.
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:Like he goes to bust the back room,
which is the real issue, right?
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:Because we have a money
laundering problem here.
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:Like that's the real reason.
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:Everything is, is an issue.
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:It's not the bingo itself.
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:It's like the money laundering
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:glo: There's just a lady vibing
on her Walkman with piles of cash.
379
:mabel: vibing so hard.
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:She's just like bopping and
doesn't notice trivette at all.
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:And I was like, yeah, this is me all the
time with my noise canceling AirPods now.
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:elaines money: Oh yeah, same.
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:Same.
384
:Yeah.
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:Played by none other than Raymond's
mom from everybody loved Raymond.
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:glo: Do we know her real name?
387
:I feel bad.
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:mabel: Oh my God.
389
:I don't,
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:glo: The name of the
character is Elaine Portugal.
391
:mabel: yeah,
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:elaines money: Which,
393
:mabel: I didn't know Portugal
could be a last name.
394
:I thought it was only a country.
395
:Hmm.
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:elaines money: anything can be a last name
397
:mabel: Yeah.
398
:If you try hard enough, right?
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:Yeah.
400
:elaines money: hard enough, I guess.
401
:Yeah.
402
:mabel: Yeah.
403
:Walker has to chase some employees
onto the roof though, and like
404
:kicks them into submission.
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:Of course.
406
:elaines money: Yes.
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:Yes.
408
:Uh, he kicks them into submission
and takes down the probably
409
:super expensive neon bingo sign,
410
:glo: just explodes into fireworks.
411
:Yep.
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:mabel: Mm.
413
:elaines money: of course it does.
414
:mabel: Yeah.
415
:elaines money: Uh,
416
:mabel: He's, after we come back from
theme Walker is such an asshole he's like
417
:bitching to Alex that I can't believe you
got me doing these stupid bingo busts.
418
:And it's like guy money laundering
is how you get most of these guys,
419
:like the baddest of guys like.
420
:You've either done a money launder
or you've done a wire fraud.
421
:Or a tax fraud,
422
:glo: Yep.
423
:mabel: and that's how we can
get you, like, we can't always
424
:prove you killed somebody.
425
:We can't always prove you ordered a
hit, but we can prove you did bad money.
426
:elaines money: Yeah.
427
:mabel: So like stop being
an idiot about that.
428
:Sorry.
429
:You don't get to do as many kicks.
430
:I don't
431
:glo: Yep.
432
:elaines money: Yeah.
433
:And speaking of how you get the bads, our
old friend and Chucky's, uh, arch nemesis,
434
:Ricky Ricken, uh, is behind this bingo
435
:mabel: Wait.
436
:He's our old friend.
437
:elaines money: We've seen him before.
438
:mabel: have.
439
:elaines money: Yeah.
440
:glo: when?
441
:elaines money: Uh, you know,
that episode where everybody got
442
:blown up real good, like the car
got blow up and, and, um, drugs?
443
:Yeah.
444
:I believe Ricky Ricken was
behind that and got off for it,
445
:mabel: Ah,
446
:elaines money: n him or something.
447
:But we've definitely
seen Ricky Wicks before.
448
:glo: okay.
449
:I trust
450
:mabel: I mean, I believe you.
451
:I just was like, I clearly, like
when I'm taking notes for the show,
452
:I'm like trying to take as little
time as possible 'cause like Yeah.
453
:elaines money: Same.
454
:Same.
455
:I went right back to my true
blood marathon after this.
456
:Not gonna lie.
457
:glo: And guys,
458
:elaines money: I will.
459
:glo: is not, this is not an essay.
460
:This is yuck.
461
:Yuck jokes.
462
:Like no one is using this for their
dissertation on Walker, Texas Ranger.
463
:mabel: I mean, if I figure
out how, I'll let you know.
464
:glo: Hmm.
465
:mabel: Yeah, yeah.
466
:Yeah.
467
:elaines money: yeah.
468
:He's losing his shit and they're
talking and she's like, listen,
469
:this is how we're gonna NAB
Ricky Ricken, chill the fuck out.
470
:And then Ricky Ricken shows up with
his lawyer and goes, Hey, Walker, long
471
:time no see, which I feel like not a
lot of people know this, but the phrase
472
:long time no see has racist roots.
473
:mabel: No, really?
474
:elaines money: It, it
475
:mabel: Oh, is it supposed to be like
Native American broken English or,
476
:elaines money: Not quite.
477
:You're very close.
478
:Uh, it is, yeah.
479
:It's Chinese, broken
480
:mabel: Uh, yeah.
481
:elaines money: Um, it came
about, uh, in San Francisco, I
482
:glo: makes sense.
483
:elaines money: um, when there was
an influx of Asian integration,
484
:um, in the early 19 hundreds.
485
:And so it was making fun of, uh, the
Asian immigrants who came to America.
486
:glo: Awesome.
487
:elaines money: Sorry for this
really depressing history lesson.
488
:mabel: Yeah, I think I kind of
kind of knew that like on a level,
489
:but it's nice to have it confirmed
with actual facts in history.
490
:glo: hmm.
491
:elaines money: but anyway, so
Ricky Kins and Chucky D Nope.
492
:Chucky n he's not a member of the BC Boys.
493
:Um.
494
:So, yeah, they, they kind of face
off in tough, macho bullshit.
495
:Talk ensues.
496
:I'm gonna tuck you down.
497
:No, you're not.
498
:I'm better than you.
499
:Uh, pretend I have action figures
while I'm doing this 'cause
500
:it's basically what it's like.
501
:mabel: Mm-hmm.
502
:elaines money: Uh, and then Walker and
Alex go talk to,, Raymond's mom, who
503
:turns out to be Elaine Portugal, as we
said, which would be a great name for
504
:a fem feal, uh, in a film noir from
back in the day Lakes came up to you.
505
:My name is Elaine, Elaine Portugal.
506
:She says around, you know,
her cigarette sticky thing,
507
:glo: Agree.
508
:mabel: Yeah, Elaine is doing a big, like,
oh, I'm such an innocent grandma act.
509
:Uh, I didn't know there
was money laundering.
510
:Well, I, I did know I was, you know,
I'm on social security and so I wanted
511
:to be paid in cash so that nobody
would take my social security, reduced
512
:my social Security, but I had no idea
there were crimes happening officers.
513
:And at this moment I was just like,
yeah, she's, she's one of the bad guys
514
:glo: Oh, yeah.
515
:Saw right through that.
516
:elaines money: I feel like all of
us, the bullshit meter was going
517
:mabel: yeah, yeah.
518
:But honestly, like this lady, like the
older lady living alone on some sort of
519
:social security fixed income situation
is like a prime target for people looking
520
:for money Mules these days, like yeah.
521
:elaines money: there's not
enough social security.
522
:Like people are not getting paid enough,
523
:mabel: Yeah, and you get these
ads about like, do nothing,
524
:work from home and make money.
525
:And it's all just like, here, let us
run our money through your account.
526
:Like we give you the money from
here and then you wire some of it
527
:to here, but you keep some of it.
528
:So you're just laundering for them.
529
:You're their mule.
530
:And
531
:glo: yep.
532
:mabel: uh, I've, I've seen it
before at one of the financial
533
:institutions I worked at, yeah.
534
:There was definitely an old lady
that we tried to explain to her like,
535
:this thing you're doing is a crime.
536
:And either, I don't know if she didn't
understand or was pressured in some
537
:way, but ultimately it wound up with
just like we are closing your account
538
:and turning you over to the FBI,
539
:glo: Oh, wow.
540
:elaines money: Oh
541
:mabel: we have no other choice.
542
:So.
543
:glo: Wow.
544
:mabel: Yeah, it's, it's really
sad because you, you can't tell at
545
:some of the, some of the ages, like
how much they understand about the
546
:way financial crimes have evolved,
547
:elaines money: right.
548
:And you know, I'm sure that there are
a lot of people who feel like they have
549
:no choice because they're on this fixed
income, but they can't necessarily work.
550
:And then the medical bills
keep piling up 'cause Medicaid
551
:isn't covering them for a lot.
552
:Like there were a lot of medications
when I worked at a dermatologist
553
:that, you know, people needed.
554
:And they couldn't get, because
Medicaid wouldn't cover
555
:glo: Hmm.
556
:mabel: Just like even the, the psychology
of it, you know, if they get this person
557
:like in their ear on the phone, like
pressuring them to do things that they've
558
:been told or bad things, but they don't.
559
:Totally comprehend.
560
:Like, I don't know.
561
:He just, just happens.
562
:But it's sad.
563
:elaines money: exactly.
564
:'cause if you, you know, it's that
perfect equation of I don't really
565
:understand how this technology
works, and I also need money to get
566
:these injections to make my eyeballs
567
:glo: Hmm.
568
:elaines money: That won't be
covered by insurance, like,
569
:mabel: this is my job and that is my boss.
570
:Yeah.
571
:It's just,
572
:elaines money: right.
573
:mabel: uh, but you know, who's
not being duped by anything?
574
:It's miscellaneous.
575
:glo: Yep.
576
:elaines money: Elaine
Portugal is a badass.
577
:Uh, but they ask her to testify and
then like discuss it in a public hallway
578
:after talking about how Ricky Ricks
has people killed on the re for less.
579
:glo: Mm-hmm.
580
:elaines money: uh, don't notice
the guy behind them on a fucking
581
:payphone talking to Ricky Ricks.
582
:glo: Yeah.
583
:And we have this weird guy
who pops up all the time.
584
:Do we wanna call him something?
585
:mabel: I was calling him the tail.
586
:glo: tail.
587
:elaines money: Ah, that's so much better.
588
:Yeah, mine was just cool shirt guy.
589
:'cause like, I like his shirt.
590
:It's real cool.
591
:I want one.
592
:glo: Okay.
593
:mabel: I thought it was really funny
'cause like we have the Ricky Ricketts
594
:Goon, who's like the first tail who's
like, yeah, I'm gonna go stalk her.
595
:But then there's like
the tail of the tail,
596
:glo: Yep.
597
:mabel: is just this old guy
with a hat and like a coat.
598
:glo: I think I
599
:elaines money: It's the Spider-Man meme.
600
:glo: right?
601
:I think I put weird hat guy.
602
:So he's like Cool shirt guy.
603
:Weird hat guy.
604
:The tail.
605
:mabel: Mm-hmm.
606
:glo: And for the audience,
607
:elaines money: in the same band.
608
:glo: right?
609
:For the listener.
610
:It's just a old dude with a cool
shirt and a hat and kind of weirdly
611
:following everything and we're not
sure what he is until the very end.
612
:mabel: Oh, I, I, at this point, I
was like, oh, that's her husband.
613
:glo: Oh, interesting.
614
:mabel: be the husband that
615
:elaines money: that is what,
616
:mabel: it hasn't happened yet, but she
several times mentions her dead husband
617
:and I was like, it's gotta be that guy.
618
:And it turns out I was not
right, but like close man.
619
:elaines money: yeah.
620
:Like that wa Yeah, that was
definitely my initial thought as well.
621
:Um,
622
:mabel: Yeah.
623
:elaines money: I thought, yeah, I
thought he was trying to keep her safe,
624
:mabel: yeah, I was like, okay.
625
:He's like.
626
:elaines money: I.
627
:mabel: He, he's not dead clearly.
628
:Maybe she left him and he's trying
to get her back or whatever.
629
:So he's following, uh, I don't know,
but we get Walker going to, to Ricky's
630
:warehouse and he's like poking around
with his boots at the fruit boxes
631
:and finds a bunch of Bingo cards.
632
:And then he goes to the bingo hall
again and finds the fruit boxes
633
:full of bingo cards there too.
634
:elaines money: And then picks
up a Bingo card and says, bingo.
635
:So congratulations.
636
:You can read.
637
:mabel: I don't think
you can say bingo yet.
638
:Walker, I think you're supposed to
save the bingo for like later in
639
:the episode when you've cracked it.
640
:You haven't cracked it yet.
641
:elaines money: That's true.
642
:But given that this man, oh, sorry.
643
:Glow, you had a
644
:glo: No, I just have a point of
order after we're done talking
645
:about the bo, the boxes, the crates?
646
:Yes.
647
:elaines money: I was just gonna say, given
that this man sang his own theme song.
648
:If you can call it that and
had a chorus of his own voice
649
:instead of an actual chorus.
650
:Partly 'cause he's an ego-centric weirdo.
651
:And partly let's be real, because
if he had a chorus, an actual chorus
652
:backing him up, it might be even
more glaring how bad he is at this.
653
:Uh, you can't really
expect anymore from him.
654
:What we what is your point of order?
655
:glo: there is a new truck.
656
:mabel: Oh, yes.
657
:This show must
658
:elaines money: a new
659
:mabel: by GMC anymore.
660
:He has a Dodge now.
661
:glo: He has a Dodge Ram guys.
662
:elaines money: yeah.
663
:We're built Dodge ram tough.
664
:Don't come at me.
665
:I know that's Ford's damn.
666
:mabel: I, I guess maybe
this was maybe the nineties.
667
:We were all fighting over the rights to
be the truck in Walker, Texas Ranger.
668
:I could see it.
669
:glo: could see that too.
670
:elaines money: I.
671
:Yeah.
672
:'cause I guess it was really popular.
673
:Was there just not good
TV in the nineties?
674
:glo: I mean, either, either that or
this show knows exactly what it is,
675
:elaines money: Yeah.
676
:glo: you know, and if it went on
for this many seasons, you know?
677
:mabel: People knew exactly
what it was and they liked
678
:glo: Mm-hmm.
679
:We're also like in the golden age
of television, so looking back,
680
:elaines money: no.
681
:glo: not, not back
then, like now is is the
682
:elaines money: Oh,
683
:glo: of television.
684
:Yeah.
685
:No,
686
:mabel: It was pretty good.
687
:We got good
688
:glo: we got some really good stuff.
689
:elaines money: Yeah, we do
have good stuff all the time.
690
:It's great to be
691
:glo: back then is not the
golden age of television.
692
:elaines money: That's what I
thought you were saying and I
693
:was really upset for, I was like,
694
:um,
695
:mabel: so the tail is sitting outside.
696
:I was confused.
697
:I thought this was Elaine's house at
first, and then I thought maybe it's a WIS
698
:witness protection apartment, and then it
seems like maybe it's Alex's apartment,
699
:glo: I was, yep.
700
:I was confused as well because Elaine
was making her dinner in Alex's house,
701
:and honestly, like the way that it is
set up, like the house doesn't look
702
:like a young person's house, but,
but we're also looking at eighties
703
:decoration, which we kind of assume,
you know, associate with older fashion.
704
:So maybe this was fashionable.
705
:I don't know, dude.
706
:mabel: I don't know.
707
:But it's weird that
she's making dinner for.
708
:Alex in Alex's kitchen and manages
to poison her in her own kitchen.
709
:elaines money: Right.
710
:She like roofies her with Matza ball soup,
which she explains like we aren't gonna
711
:know what Matza ball soup is, which is
712
:mabel: I mean, maybe they're thinking
like these people are from Texas and maybe
713
:they've never met a Jewish person before.
714
:elaines money: Are there
not Jewish people in Texas?
715
:glo: I mean, I would say
they're probably not,
716
:elaines money: a small,
717
:mabel: would say it's probably not
a majority of the population, hun.
718
:glo: yeah, it's def
719
:elaines money: Oh, okay.
720
:glo: not New York.
721
:mabel: Right, right.
722
:Well, and I wonder if the actress at
this point is like, I don't know, I'm
723
:not gonna say like making it her mission,
but like spreading like awareness through
724
:glo: Maybe.
725
:mabel: the things that she's in of like
her Jewish culture and what have you.
726
:I don't know.
727
:elaines money: that's a possibility.
728
:glo: Let's ask Vic, Hey, how many Jewish
people do you see down there in Texas?
729
:elaines money: Yeah.
730
:What's the Judaism situation?
731
:You guys got Lakas, right?
732
:mabel: I mean, everybody needs lacus
733
:glo: Mm
734
:elaines money: Everybody needs lakos, man.
735
:glo: mm-hmm.
736
:mabel: Yup.
737
:elaines money: Maybe that's why everyone's
so cranky and shooting off guns down
738
:there because they don't have lakas.
739
:mabel: Could
740
:glo: Lack of luck.
741
:'cause
742
:elaines money: Because lakas
equal endorphins as one L.
743
:Woods would say.
744
:mabel: And really sorry.
745
:elaines money: Oh no, you go ahead.
746
:mabel: And really Alex should
have eaten the lakas because this
747
:maza ball soup, hella roofies,
748
:elaines money: Yeah.
749
:Hello Ru and the Matza Ball.
750
:mabel: she gets very woozy,
has to lay down on the couch.
751
:Um, and then Elaine is just like
out the door, like a gunshot.
752
:glo: Kisses her forehead and pieces out.
753
:mabel: Yeah.
754
:And 'cause the tail had been outside.
755
:I thought this was the tail
that comes after her, but it
756
:turns out to be CD Parker.
757
:elaines money: It came out to be.
758
:And before though, before when they're
sitting down and um, Alex is still
759
:upright and eating the roofed, matza
ball soup, uh, Elaine does kind of try
760
:to play matchmaker a little bit and
then says, uh, Walker looks at Alex
761
:like a wolf looking at a pork chop,
762
:mabel: Gross.
763
:elaines money: which is Yeah.
764
:Ha.
765
:mabel: I'm always here to
provide a gross regarding
766
:elaines money: appreciate
767
:mabel: any of the romantic
tension between Alex and Walker.
768
:Gross.
769
:elaines money: And it's not just,
'cause she's probably in her twenties
770
:when he's, you know, a million a
771
:glo: But also way out of his league.
772
:Like,
773
:elaines money: way out of his league.
774
:mabel: Did did his haircut
get worse in this episode?
775
:By the way?
776
:glo: I don't
777
:mabel: I need to, I need to ask this.
778
:I feel like his haircut got worse
and I think he dies the beard.
779
:elaines money: Oh, he
absolutely ties that beer, dude.
780
:For
781
:mabel: he is a very redheaded
man, and I do believe, it seems
782
:like the redheaded man that the
beard goes gray faster than this.
783
:Like, but it's a very
red, still doesn't look
784
:glo: One thing I was gonna actually
posit to you guys, we all three of
785
:us have living mothers, um, who, you
know, were, you know, probably in their
786
:thirties or forties around the time
this came out, twenties, maybe even.
787
:Um, I would actually like to know,
um, and if you guys will help me with
788
:this, did women watching the show
find the leading man attractive or,
789
:mabel: answer for my mother right
now and say she absolutely would
790
:not have found Walker Texas Ranger
791
:glo: Okay.
792
:That's really interesting.
793
:I'm gonna ask my mom.
794
:I, I really kind of wanna know.
795
:mabel: Yeah.
796
:elaines money: So
797
:glo: I.
798
:elaines money: would, has never.
799
:uh, been into or attracted to
or would watch a show with a
800
:leading man who was this macho?
801
:Uh, she does not suffer fools.
802
:There is simply no way she would
ever find Chuck North attractive.
803
:And there's simply no way she
would ever watch Walker Texas
804
:glo: See now my mom definitely
did and, and bought a total gym
805
:that now resides in my basement.
806
:Um, so would like watch
the infomercials with him.
807
:So I, I assume that she would
call him an attractive man.
808
:Um, but, um, maybe we can even
put this out to our discord.
809
:If you have a, a older female in your
life who would have been watching
810
:this show when it aired, could
you just ask them, is Chuck Norris
811
:or was Chuck Norris attractive?
812
:I'm just
813
:mabel: I, I would like
to know, yeah, please.
814
:Post results.
815
:I wanna know how it
816
:glo: Yep.
817
:elaines money: like to know, um, yes.
818
:And also my mom was in her, yeah, she
would've been mid twenties when the
819
:show came out, mid to early twenties, I
820
:glo: My mom would've been in her thirties,
821
:elaines money: Yeah.
822
:glo: like our age, basically.
823
:mabel: yeah, yeah.
824
:elaines money: And she, yeah.
825
:glo: I
826
:elaines money: I don't know if my
mom watched TV during this time.
827
:'cause she was in, yeah, she was in
law school and she was working 60
828
:glo: Jesus.
829
:mabel: Yeah.
830
:elaines money: Yeah,
831
:mabel: we, we never
watched this in my house.
832
:Like
833
:elaines money: going to karate actually.
834
:glo: Whoa.
835
:elaines money: Yeah,
836
:glo: She was doing actual karate.
837
:elaines money: doing actual karate.
838
:Yes.
839
:Like, uh, her, um, her instructor,
I think his name was Master U.
840
:He would, um, he would,
he would stand on them.
841
:While they did sit ups.
842
:glo: Good for them?
843
:mabel: I would die.
844
:My organs would squish,
they would just squish out.
845
:elaines money: She had two kids
and still has like ab definition.
846
:Y'all like
847
:mabel: know how, I didn't
have that before though, so
848
:elaines money: Yeah, same.
849
:glo: No way.
850
:mabel: yeah, so CD gets Elaine back
and she, uh, does like assume CD knows
851
:nothing about her food, but he knows
his luck is, and he's getting some luck.
852
:elaines money: Yeah,
853
:glo: Yep.
854
:elaines money: because
again, Lakas are fantastic.
855
:This is a, well really matza
ball soup is, is fantastic too.
856
:mabel: Without the
roofies hold the roofies.
857
:elaines money: hold the roofies.
858
:Yeah.
859
:glo: Now, did you guys find it
interesting that he lets Elaine flirt
860
:with him when the other episode, it was
disgusting to him that Mabel, who is
861
:about the same age as you know, this,
this actress, uh, was flirting with him.
862
:So I, I just find that really interesting.
863
:mabel: I think it's because
Mabel Brooks, none of his shit,
864
:glo: Okay.
865
:mabel: Mabel is not afraid
to call him out on stuff.
866
:But Elaine is putting on her very
polite, submissive like I am a.
867
:I'm just a granny act.
868
:And so he's like down with that,
but he's not down with Mabel, like
869
:being more aggressive, quote unquote.
870
:glo: I, I,
871
:elaines money: He wants a strong
lady or not a strong lady.
872
:He wants one of them, you
know, submissive ladies.
873
:mabel: the perfect lady.
874
:Yeah.
875
:I don't know.
876
:Uh, but we get trivette now.
877
:It's Trivette time
878
:elaines money: Yay.
879
:mabel: and he's, he's gonna give
us a rundown of Ricky Rickett's
880
:scams, like, because the audience
needs it explained to us.
881
:But Walker, Texas, ranger and Alex
already have this figured out, and
882
:they're not sure why they're in this room.
883
:elaines money: Yeah.
884
:Um, they're like, trat has put
together this entire presentation.
885
:He's even got a fruit box to
show everyone as an example.
886
:He's really excited and they're
just sassing him the entire time.
887
:They're just treating him like shit.
888
:The whole time after this man worked so
hard to put together this presentation,
889
:mabel: Yeah.
890
:He got a big map in
891
:elaines money: I know.
892
:mabel: everything's mean.
893
:elaines money: they don't deserve him.
894
:Um, and then we learn that um,
Alex has had trat help her switch
895
:trial venues to San Antonio because
maybe Rickett will have a harder
896
:time getting a judge in his pocket.
897
:And also people maybe don't know him as
well there, which is a pretty smart move.
898
:I mean, I think that is
something that I would do
899
:mabel: I noticed in this episode
that Walker said San Antonio,
900
:like a normal person this time.
901
:But in our previous episode, I
think I forgot to hate on it when
902
:he said San an Antonio, which
I've never heard anyone ever say,
903
:glo: Yep.
904
:elaines money: And then CD
said San Antonio this episode,
905
:mabel: oh, Diddy, well CD's an old,
so maybe olds do different stuff.
906
:elaines money: maybe.
907
:Well, so is Walker though.
908
:mabel: Ah, true, true.
909
:But he gets a pass this time
'cause he said it in a normal way.
910
:So thanks finally, God.
911
:elaines money: only time Chuck
Doris gets a pass on this podcast.
912
:mabel: the only one.
913
:elaines money: Um, but yeah, so
Walker goes to get Elaine, who is
914
:charming, all of the fellas in the
office with her tailor knowledge.
915
:Um, and she tries to get
him to date Alex in the car
916
:mabel: Mm-hmm.
917
:elaines money: and have kids
with her and everything.
918
:And he says, maybe someday,
919
:glo: You're 50.
920
:You're 50.
921
:elaines money: exactly
922
:mabel: Well, but if she is
young, it doesn't matter.
923
:'cause she can do all the work.
924
:glo: damn,
925
:elaines money: Well, that like the
older that the men folk get too,
926
:like the more health risks there are
927
:mabel: Well, that's true.
928
:That's true.
929
:glo: swimmers.
930
:elaines money: Yeah, the swimmers
and at his gigantic age, those
931
:swimmers, they need walkers.
932
:All right.
933
:Ha ha.
934
:glo: also says, I'm a lone wolf.
935
:I like to live alone.
936
:And I'm like, doesn't
he live with Uncle Ray?
937
:Am I wrong?
938
:mabel: Well, this is
939
:elaines money: I
940
:mabel: different house.
941
:This is a totally different
942
:glo: Okay, you're right.
943
:mabel: And so I'm like,
where is Uncle Ray?
944
:I kinda miss
945
:glo: I do Miss Uncle Ray.
946
:elaines money: like, I'm kind
of wondering, here's my theory.
947
:Um, I think maybe there was a
lot of backlash for the half
948
:Cherokee white guy storyline.
949
:mabel: maybe,
950
:elaines money: Um, and the, yeah,
the magical shaman bullshit.
951
:And maybe there was enough backlash
that they just kind of like
952
:wrote Uncle Ray out altogether.
953
:glo: Maybe
954
:mabel: Yeah.
955
:I don't
956
:elaines money: Just pretended
that he didn't exist.
957
:Kind of like James Bond does with
958
:glo: That could be somebody's
good, better, best, think about it.
959
:elaines money: but yeah, and so they
drive up to, I thought it was CD's House
960
:because it was a different house, but
yeah, it turns out it was Walker's house.
961
:Um, and then CD and again,
CD uses Walker's Kitchen to
962
:cook, so I thought it was
963
:mabel: Yeah.
964
:Everybody just cooks in
everybody's kitchen, which
965
:actually kind of sounds magical.
966
:Can we just all cook in
each other's kitchens?
967
:elaines money: As long as other people
do the cleanup, that would be great.
968
:mabel: Sure.
969
:Yeah.
970
:Yeah.
971
:They were trying to get travet
to do the cleanup, but he was
972
:like, no, I have real work to do.
973
:I have an actual job, guys.
974
:elaines money: exactly.
975
:mabel: But Elaine gives cd some like cole
slaw tips and like, your cole slaw was
976
:great, but here's how it can be better.
977
:elaines money: And then I'm kind of
sitting there at that point thinking,
978
:man, I don't wanna say it like this, but I
hope her and her husband aren't together.
979
:'cause like I'd be okay with her and
CD like, you know, being a couple, they
980
:seem like they have a lot of interests.
981
:mabel: So Walker goes to retire
and Sadie sits on the front porch
982
:and Elaine is pretending to retire.
983
:But then she goes and grabs the
keys to the Dodge and uh, tricks
984
:CD until leaving the porch.
985
:'cause she's like, oh, I can't sleep.
986
:I just wanna sit with you.
987
:But I'd love some hot tea.
988
:glo: Mm-hmm.
989
:elaines money: I brought you this blankie.
990
:mabel: Mm-hmm.
991
:elaines money: Um, so he's all
like, or I'll go make the tea honey.
992
:And she's like, oh, that's so nasty.
993
:And then he goes inside
and she books it to the
994
:glo: And Ricketts men are just there.
995
:elaines money: Yeah,
996
:mabel: goons have found
the new Walker house.
997
:glo: Yeah.
998
:elaines money: they've teleported
to the new walker house.
999
:mabel: You know what's really
funny about this scene though?
:
00:42:34,256 --> 00:42:34,616
Okay.
:
00:42:34,616 --> 00:42:39,356
So of course, because this is Walker's
house, immediately these goons, you
:
00:42:39,356 --> 00:42:43,136
know, she gets some screams out and CD
and Walker come running and whatever.
:
00:42:43,976 --> 00:42:49,826
Uh, but Walker, Texas Ranger did
not like get undressed at all.
:
00:42:49,826 --> 00:42:51,686
He's still wearing everything.
:
00:42:51,686 --> 00:42:55,766
He was gonna go to bed and it would've
been kind of funny to see him, like in his
:
00:42:55,766 --> 00:42:58,166
bathrobe, throwing the kicks or something.
:
00:42:58,736 --> 00:43:01,556
Like, I don't wanna see like
boxers or, no thank you.
:
00:43:01,556 --> 00:43:04,061
But it could have been
pretty funny if he was like.
:
00:43:04,751 --> 00:43:06,136
Halfway dressed for bed.
:
00:43:06,576 --> 00:43:08,556
glo: Oh, Walker's a tidy whitey guy.
:
00:43:08,621 --> 00:43:08,681
elaines money: Yeah.
:
00:43:09,666 --> 00:43:10,196
glo: Come on.
:
00:43:10,211 --> 00:43:10,481
elaines money: He,
:
00:43:11,141 --> 00:43:15,761
glo: There's no way he has boxers on or
he's string following it with nothing.
:
00:43:18,911 --> 00:43:20,111
See, come on.
:
00:43:20,231 --> 00:43:23,321
elaines money: needs support for
his old ram balls, don't they?
:
00:43:23,321 --> 00:43:23,891
Droop.
:
00:43:25,001 --> 00:43:25,301
glo: guys?
:
00:43:25,301 --> 00:43:27,221
He has to get those kicks up really high.
:
00:43:28,211 --> 00:43:30,281
mabel: he does have to
get him up really high.
:
00:43:31,181 --> 00:43:33,191
elaines money: And then,
you know, everything's just
:
00:43:33,191 --> 00:43:35,111
drooping, like, it's like a bra.
:
00:43:35,111 --> 00:43:36,671
You gotta, you gotta have support.
:
00:43:37,961 --> 00:43:39,071
gravity does its work.
:
00:43:39,071 --> 00:43:40,271
mabel: underwire, tidy weight?
:
00:43:41,726 --> 00:43:41,846
glo: Oh,
:
00:43:42,456 --> 00:43:42,676
elaines money: Uh.
:
00:43:42,956 --> 00:43:44,966
glo: he is just always
wearing a jack strap.
:
00:43:44,966 --> 00:43:46,076
Just all the time.
:
00:43:47,136 --> 00:43:47,786
elaines money: Just in case.
:
00:43:47,976 --> 00:43:50,621
It's just him throwing kicks
and nothing but a jock.
:
00:43:50,621 --> 00:43:50,921
Strap
:
00:43:52,776 --> 00:43:53,066
mabel: Stop.
:
00:43:53,616 --> 00:43:53,906
Stop.
:
00:44:01,001 --> 00:44:04,061
elaines money: ass cheeks
just flapping in the breeze.
:
00:44:04,191 --> 00:44:06,041
mabel: you know, he has really hairy ass
:
00:44:06,266 --> 00:44:06,776
glo: Oh,
:
00:44:07,991 --> 00:44:09,071
elaines money: and they're red.
:
00:44:09,251 --> 00:44:10,601
It's either red or gray.
:
00:44:10,601 --> 00:44:11,261
Probably a mixture.
:
00:44:15,176 --> 00:44:18,416
mabel: Anyway, it could have been
funny in a bathrobe at least, right?
:
00:44:18,446 --> 00:44:19,346
Because you could have
:
00:44:19,376 --> 00:44:21,176
elaines money: bathrobe
would've been hilarious.
:
00:44:21,536 --> 00:44:25,076
mabel: it gets all flappy and stuff,
and, and then it could be like
:
00:44:25,076 --> 00:44:29,756
slightly, slightly ajar at the end and
he like rushes to cover himself up.
:
00:44:29,756 --> 00:44:30,686
That would be pretty funny.
:
00:44:31,766 --> 00:44:34,556
elaines money: And he is got
like those cartoon boxers
:
00:44:34,556 --> 00:44:35,726
on, you know, with the little
:
00:44:35,951 --> 00:44:36,371
glo: Mm-hmm.
:
00:44:36,806 --> 00:44:37,646
That would be funny.
:
00:44:38,141 --> 00:44:39,401
mabel: That would be funny.
:
00:44:39,641 --> 00:44:40,031
All right.
:
00:44:40,031 --> 00:44:40,871
We just fixed it.
:
00:44:40,871 --> 00:44:41,441
We fixed it
:
00:44:41,606 --> 00:44:42,566
glo: I'm okay with that.
:
00:44:43,886 --> 00:44:43,946
elaines money: it.
:
00:44:43,946 --> 00:44:46,166
Chuck Norris takes himself
too seriously, though.
:
00:44:46,166 --> 00:44:46,526
Let's be
:
00:44:46,676 --> 00:44:51,326
glo: If, if anybody would like to make
some fan Art of Walker, Texas Ranger in
:
00:44:51,386 --> 00:44:54,866
Valentine's boxers, that would be amazing.
:
00:44:54,866 --> 00:44:55,406
Thank you.
:
00:44:56,111 --> 00:44:56,411
mabel: Yeah.
:
00:44:56,711 --> 00:44:57,911
But also a bathrobe
:
00:44:58,106 --> 00:44:58,346
glo: Yeah.
:
00:44:58,346 --> 00:44:59,336
And a and a bathrobe.
:
00:44:59,336 --> 00:44:59,666
Yes.
:
00:44:59,841 --> 00:45:00,131
elaines money: Yeah.
:
00:45:00,308 --> 00:45:00,848
mabel: Okay.
:
00:45:00,848 --> 00:45:01,208
Yeah.
:
00:45:01,208 --> 00:45:01,718
So
:
00:45:01,828 --> 00:45:02,248
elaines money: anyway,
:
00:45:02,678 --> 00:45:03,848
mabel: these guys don't get it.
:
00:45:03,908 --> 00:45:10,058
They don't, they don't get Elaine and,
uh, Walker and Trivette are kind of
:
00:45:10,058 --> 00:45:13,898
putting it together like, oh, she's
still got something that Ricky wants.
:
00:45:13,898 --> 00:45:16,298
Like, he's not just
afraid of her testimony.
:
00:45:16,298 --> 00:45:18,158
Like, there's something else
:
00:45:18,158 --> 00:45:19,328
elaines money: Like, yeah.
:
00:45:19,688 --> 00:45:23,198
And she runs back into the house while
Walker and everybody's like arresting
:
00:45:23,558 --> 00:45:27,188
everyone and she like peeks out and
she kind of goes, oh, Walker, you're
:
00:45:27,188 --> 00:45:29,288
gonna be a bigger problem than rickets.
:
00:45:29,768 --> 00:45:32,678
And at that point I was kind
of thinking maybe she was the
:
00:45:32,678 --> 00:45:34,868
big cheese, but I was wrong,
:
00:45:35,033 --> 00:45:37,073
mabel: Yeah, I was like,
is she the mastermind?
:
00:45:37,073 --> 00:45:38,903
Because that would be pretty cool too.
:
00:45:38,903 --> 00:45:39,473
Like
:
00:45:41,633 --> 00:45:45,863
Ricky Ricketts is just like the face man
and she's the real brains of everything.
:
00:45:46,283 --> 00:45:47,003
Hell yeah.
:
00:45:49,478 --> 00:45:49,988
elaines money: But yeah.
:
00:45:49,988 --> 00:45:54,218
And then so they're having this
conversation about how things are
:
00:45:54,218 --> 00:45:57,188
hinky and it's weird that he's
letting her live and clearly he wants
:
00:45:57,188 --> 00:45:59,288
something out of her, as Laura said.
:
00:45:59,768 --> 00:46:04,808
Um, and then they see Ricky Ricketts
across the parking lot, walk over
:
00:46:04,808 --> 00:46:11,408
to him, and Walker immediately
just assaults his driver, just like
:
00:46:12,638 --> 00:46:15,668
cracks his wrist and holds him there.
:
00:46:15,728 --> 00:46:21,968
And the lawyer of Ricky Ricketts is
like, Hey man, you can't do that.
:
00:46:21,998 --> 00:46:23,468
Rightfully so.
:
00:46:23,828 --> 00:46:30,668
And Walker responds with, this is not
a courthouse, this is a parking lot.
:
00:46:31,058 --> 00:46:32,678
There are no rules.
:
00:46:32,738 --> 00:46:34,988
So you heard it here first.
:
00:46:36,108 --> 00:46:36,328
glo: Uh,
:
00:46:36,668 --> 00:46:40,448
mabel: the rule of law is everywhere
except the parking lot folks.
:
00:46:40,448 --> 00:46:40,928
elaines money: Yes.
:
00:46:41,588 --> 00:46:43,718
No, no doubt you can't.
:
00:46:43,958 --> 00:46:47,468
There are no rules in any
San Antonio parking lot.
:
00:46:47,678 --> 00:46:50,858
Tell Vic he can dangle his
feet in the parking lot
:
00:46:51,188 --> 00:46:52,648
glo: and San Antone.
:
00:46:52,864 --> 00:46:53,254
elaines money: San
:
00:46:53,329 --> 00:46:56,359
mabel: I think we're still in Dallas
at this point, but it doesn't matter.
:
00:46:56,689 --> 00:46:57,559
It's whatever.
:
00:46:57,619 --> 00:46:59,059
Yeah, in Texas.
:
00:46:59,569 --> 00:47:00,409
Parking lots.
:
00:47:00,889 --> 00:47:04,219
glo: oh, right, because we haven't
gotten the, the goodbye kiss yet.
:
00:47:04,356 --> 00:47:04,926
mabel: Yeah,
:
00:47:05,121 --> 00:47:05,871
elaines money: Oh shit.
:
00:47:05,871 --> 00:47:08,391
The goodbye kiss was fire.
:
00:47:08,961 --> 00:47:10,221
Um, yes.
:
00:47:10,896 --> 00:47:11,556
mabel: I love it.
:
00:47:11,556 --> 00:47:16,206
So she gets cd, like she's buttering up
to cd 'cause she's found out like, oh,
:
00:47:16,206 --> 00:47:18,036
they're gonna take me down to San Antonio.
:
00:47:18,036 --> 00:47:19,176
I don't wanna go.
:
00:47:19,746 --> 00:47:23,616
And he's like, Sadie's like, don't worry,
Walker's gonna be on the plane with
:
00:47:23,616 --> 00:47:25,566
you and he's gonna be there whole time.
:
00:47:25,566 --> 00:47:26,376
It's gonna be fine.
:
00:47:27,006 --> 00:47:30,036
And she's just like, oh, I'd
rather go with you, Sadie.
:
00:47:30,036 --> 00:47:38,376
And so she gets a goodbye kiss and
she like full on, makes out with him.
:
00:47:38,376 --> 00:47:40,656
He's doing the like flay arms,
:
00:47:40,686 --> 00:47:41,136
glo: Mm-hmm.
:
00:47:41,526 --> 00:47:47,676
mabel: like he can't even control
this, this kiss and this woman.
:
00:47:47,706 --> 00:47:48,246
And.
:
00:47:48,876 --> 00:47:50,076
It's very funny
:
00:47:51,036 --> 00:47:53,166
elaines money: It's very funny,
but like after it, like she
:
00:47:53,166 --> 00:47:54,696
totally knocked his socks off.
:
00:47:54,696 --> 00:47:56,076
Like he can't even talk.
:
00:47:56,076 --> 00:47:58,446
He's just like, sh woo.
:
00:47:59,191 --> 00:47:59,481
Like,
:
00:48:02,166 --> 00:48:04,471
mabel: and Walker Texas Rangers
in the background, like, whoa,
:
00:48:06,096 --> 00:48:07,836
elaines money: why is she
not making out with me?
:
00:48:08,466 --> 00:48:11,046
I am the one who is the star of the show.
:
00:48:11,106 --> 00:48:12,216
I sing,
:
00:48:13,231 --> 00:48:13,451
glo: Yep.
:
00:48:15,066 --> 00:48:15,636
elaines money: what does he do?
:
00:48:15,636 --> 00:48:19,506
Make chili and no vodkas,
and eat hot chip and lie.
:
00:48:26,001 --> 00:48:30,381
Um, but then they get to the airport
and Elena's all like, I go, go
:
00:48:30,381 --> 00:48:37,071
potty and, uh, basically talks a
lady in the bathroom out of her hat
:
00:48:37,071 --> 00:48:41,691
and jacket and then sneaks away.
:
00:48:42,321 --> 00:48:49,161
Um, but Walker catches her before she
gets into a taxi and cool shirt guy or
:
00:48:49,161 --> 00:48:55,731
the tail, or a cool hat guy is, uh, has
followed them out and is eating a donut.
:
00:48:55,851 --> 00:48:57,891
Kind of slowly, but also slowly.
:
00:48:57,891 --> 00:49:00,321
I was very confused by
the eating of this donut.
:
00:49:01,926 --> 00:49:05,856
glo: But now, now she is had
enough of a diversion where
:
00:49:05,856 --> 00:49:07,986
they cannot make the flight.
:
00:49:07,986 --> 00:49:10,751
So now Walker has to drive a lane.
:
00:49:11,376 --> 00:49:11,586
To
:
00:49:11,841 --> 00:49:14,601
mabel: Hey, remember airports that
you could just like walk into?
:
00:49:14,646 --> 00:49:14,916
glo: Whew.
:
00:49:16,041 --> 00:49:16,551
mabel: Wow,
:
00:49:18,651 --> 00:49:19,521
what a thing.
:
00:49:21,231 --> 00:49:22,791
There's like no security.
:
00:49:22,791 --> 00:49:24,681
They just go, wow.
:
00:49:26,091 --> 00:49:26,331
Wow.
:
00:49:26,391 --> 00:49:27,471
What a, what a time.
:
00:49:27,561 --> 00:49:28,786
What a world, what?
:
00:49:30,096 --> 00:49:31,596
elaines money: I still
think that's made up.
:
00:49:32,091 --> 00:49:32,911
He can't tell.
:
00:49:35,556 --> 00:49:37,506
Um, but yeah.
:
00:49:37,596 --> 00:49:44,586
And so, uh, anyway, at this point, fair
had walked into the room and Rickett
:
00:49:44,586 --> 00:49:49,986
Goon sees Walker and Elaine talk about
how they're gonna drive to San Ter.
:
00:49:51,066 --> 00:49:54,036
And uh, he gets on the phone with
Rickett and then Rickett comes on the
:
00:49:54,036 --> 00:49:56,106
screen and Shafer goes, I know him.
:
00:49:57,036 --> 00:49:57,066
glo: Oh,
:
00:49:57,456 --> 00:49:59,136
elaines money: And I'm like, oh.
:
00:49:59,286 --> 00:50:00,606
And he's like, yeah.
:
00:50:00,606 --> 00:50:03,996
And I'm like, oh, but picture him older.
:
00:50:03,996 --> 00:50:05,526
And he was like, yes.
:
00:50:05,976 --> 00:50:10,716
He was in Mulholland Drive
and he was in Twin Peaks and
:
00:50:10,716 --> 00:50:12,696
we're both David Lynch nerds.
:
00:50:13,056 --> 00:50:15,186
So we were aware.
:
00:50:15,486 --> 00:50:15,786
Yeah.
:
00:50:15,831 --> 00:50:16,131
glo: Neat.
:
00:50:16,866 --> 00:50:17,226
mabel: cool.
:
00:50:17,976 --> 00:50:22,446
elaines money: Um, but anyway, so,
and his name is Robert Forrester.
:
00:50:23,046 --> 00:50:30,306
Um, but yeah, so, um, Walker
doesn't tell Trat at all that this
:
00:50:30,306 --> 00:50:33,396
is their change of plans, even
though he has a car phone and could
:
00:50:33,516 --> 00:50:34,416
mabel: Yeah, clearly.
:
00:50:34,536 --> 00:50:35,046
elaines money: just waiting.
:
00:50:35,136 --> 00:50:35,496
Yeah.
:
00:50:37,206 --> 00:50:40,836
Uh, and I kind of don't like that
he doesn't take Ette seriously
:
00:50:40,866 --> 00:50:42,276
because he is his partner.
:
00:50:42,306 --> 00:50:44,976
He's not somebody he can
just fridge anytime he wants.
:
00:50:45,006 --> 00:50:45,366
mabel: Right.
:
00:50:45,486 --> 00:50:48,366
He's waiting at the airport
for literally no reason.
:
00:50:48,426 --> 00:50:53,466
Like he could be at the courthouse,
he could be like doing stuff,
:
00:50:54,186 --> 00:50:54,726
elaines money: Yeah.
:
00:50:54,846 --> 00:50:59,076
mabel: is got dudes there with him, like
those dudes could be doing other stuff.
:
00:50:59,526 --> 00:51:03,636
elaines money: there's a lot of allocation
of resources that walker's just kind
:
00:51:03,636 --> 00:51:09,006
of like shirking by not telling anyone,
you know, Hey, this was our change of
:
00:51:09,036 --> 00:51:10,986
glo: Waste, fraud and abuse, guys.
:
00:51:12,061 --> 00:51:12,351
mabel: Yeah.
:
00:51:12,576 --> 00:51:12,996
glo: Hmm.
:
00:51:13,431 --> 00:51:15,081
elaines money: The Walker,
Texas Ranger story.
:
00:51:15,531 --> 00:51:21,291
Um, but yeah, and so Elaine is in
the car with Walker and they're
:
00:51:21,291 --> 00:51:23,301
about an hour away from San Antonio.
:
00:51:23,301 --> 00:51:26,031
'cause vet calls him like the fuck dude.
:
00:51:26,631 --> 00:51:31,671
And um, Elaine's like, I got pee
and Walker's like, no you don't.
:
00:51:31,821 --> 00:51:34,461
And she's like, no, I
really got penis time.
:
00:51:35,691 --> 00:51:42,831
And so, um, he takes her to a little
gas station and she goes to the
:
00:51:42,831 --> 00:51:44,271
bathroom and she's all like, trust
:
00:51:44,571 --> 00:51:47,391
mabel: She definitely really went to
the bathroom this time though, right?
:
00:51:47,391 --> 00:51:47,811
Like
:
00:51:48,801 --> 00:51:49,071
elaines money: To,
:
00:51:49,101 --> 00:51:51,321
mabel: an old lady, like she
went to the bathroom and then
:
00:51:51,321 --> 00:51:53,181
she did the, the escapees.
:
00:51:53,331 --> 00:51:53,571
Yeah,
:
00:51:54,596 --> 00:51:54,996
elaines money: probably right?
:
00:51:55,856 --> 00:51:57,951
I mean, there's only so long
you can go without peeing.
:
00:51:58,071 --> 00:51:58,401
mabel: yeah.
:
00:51:58,461 --> 00:51:59,721
Like I couldn't do this.
:
00:52:00,681 --> 00:52:01,821
elaines money: I couldn't either.
:
00:52:03,951 --> 00:52:07,251
I'm diabetic though,
so I pee all the time.
:
00:52:07,341 --> 00:52:08,571
Always be peeing.
:
00:52:09,741 --> 00:52:16,761
Um, but yeah, so she hops out of
the window and walker's right there.
:
00:52:17,631 --> 00:52:20,721
Um, and she screams.
:
00:52:21,291 --> 00:52:22,761
mabel: it's a good scream.
:
00:52:23,061 --> 00:52:24,051
elaines money: It's a, yeah,
:
00:52:24,081 --> 00:52:25,461
mabel: She did a good scream.
:
00:52:25,911 --> 00:52:26,361
elaines money: yeah.
:
00:52:26,421 --> 00:52:27,531
It's a scream queen
:
00:52:27,681 --> 00:52:28,911
mabel: is a professional.
:
00:52:29,271 --> 00:52:30,531
elaines money: She is.
:
00:52:30,711 --> 00:52:33,411
glo: is such a caper now
that I wrote in my notes.
:
00:52:33,411 --> 00:52:34,971
This episode is delightful.
:
00:52:34,971 --> 00:52:37,371
It's just, it's just fun, you know?
:
00:52:38,451 --> 00:52:43,161
mabel: I kind of like to see
Walker get like some comeuppance
:
00:52:43,161 --> 00:52:45,111
from this little older lady, like
:
00:52:45,291 --> 00:52:45,951
glo: very fun.
:
00:52:46,611 --> 00:52:48,411
mabel: outsmarting him a few times.
:
00:52:48,411 --> 00:52:49,161
It's pretty fun.
:
00:52:49,161 --> 00:52:49,611
Yeah,
:
00:52:49,881 --> 00:52:50,781
elaines money: It's fun.
:
00:52:50,991 --> 00:52:51,441
Yeah.
:
00:52:51,471 --> 00:52:54,951
Also, I feel like this episode
had more Elaine and a little
:
00:52:54,951 --> 00:52:57,681
less walker doing his own thing.
:
00:52:57,681 --> 00:53:00,261
And again, I just feel like
this show would be better
:
00:53:00,261 --> 00:53:01,821
without Walker, Texas Ranger.
:
00:53:02,216 --> 00:53:02,436
glo: Yep.
:
00:53:02,931 --> 00:53:03,831
mabel: yeah, yeah.
:
00:53:04,191 --> 00:53:09,741
So as the, as he's catching her,
we get drive by Gooning and,
:
00:53:11,876 --> 00:53:12,096
glo: Yes.
:
00:53:12,246 --> 00:53:13,076
elaines money: can't say that.
:
00:53:14,271 --> 00:53:18,261
mabel: and the goons like sort of.
:
00:53:18,816 --> 00:53:20,196
You know, get, get some of them.
:
00:53:20,196 --> 00:53:22,926
Walker gets two of the
goons, not the third.
:
00:53:23,886 --> 00:53:24,546
And
:
00:53:24,861 --> 00:53:25,101
elaines money: so we're clear.
:
00:53:25,101 --> 00:53:28,641
She's talking about
henchmen drive by Hench
:
00:53:28,641 --> 00:53:32,871
glo: is the millennial understanding
of Gooning, not the Gen Z.
:
00:53:33,261 --> 00:53:33,771
Yes.
:
00:53:35,046 --> 00:53:38,196
mabel: I use it on purpose
'cause I think it's funny
:
00:53:38,541 --> 00:53:39,741
elaines money: it's very funny.
:
00:53:42,066 --> 00:53:48,426
mabel: and uh, Elaine in the chaos
steals like a delivery truck and we
:
00:53:48,426 --> 00:53:50,796
see the tail take off after her truck.
:
00:53:51,426 --> 00:53:54,936
Uh, she does this cute thing where
she's like, breaker, breaker,
:
00:53:55,046 --> 00:53:55,846
elaines money: I loved that.
:
00:53:56,286 --> 00:53:57,816
mabel: where are all the cops at?
:
00:53:57,816 --> 00:54:01,866
You know, and gets somebody on
the horn telling her, don't worry,
:
00:54:01,866 --> 00:54:04,416
you're clear up till wherever.
:
00:54:05,391 --> 00:54:06,741
elaines money: It's so cute.
:
00:54:06,996 --> 00:54:07,386
mabel: Yeah.
:
00:54:07,806 --> 00:54:09,306
I was like, go girl.
:
00:54:09,981 --> 00:54:12,501
elaines money: I know she used
all the like trucker s slang
:
00:54:12,501 --> 00:54:14,661
and stuff too, like it was bomb.
:
00:54:15,621 --> 00:54:17,361
Um, but yeah.
:
00:54:17,541 --> 00:54:22,341
And so then Walker calls Yvette to
see if he's come across anything
:
00:54:22,341 --> 00:54:24,351
about Elaine and he says no.
:
00:54:24,351 --> 00:54:27,861
But her husband Irving was
arrested the week prior for
:
00:54:27,861 --> 00:54:30,111
passing bad checks in Kansas City,
:
00:54:31,191 --> 00:54:31,976
mabel: The dead one.
:
00:54:32,031 --> 00:54:32,901
elaines money: wild.
:
00:54:32,931 --> 00:54:33,201
Yeah.
:
00:54:33,921 --> 00:54:35,691
'cause how is he dead?
:
00:54:36,741 --> 00:54:40,041
But also cashing bad checks?
:
00:54:40,716 --> 00:54:40,936
mabel: Ah.
:
00:54:41,271 --> 00:54:42,561
elaines money: Is he Jesus?
:
00:54:42,951 --> 00:54:43,971
Is he fraud?
:
00:54:43,971 --> 00:54:44,841
Jesus.
:
00:54:48,381 --> 00:54:52,131
Um, he has risen and also.
:
00:54:52,821 --> 00:54:53,601
Committed fraud.
:
00:54:54,111 --> 00:55:02,841
Um, but yeah, so then we cut to a lane
at Irving's grave, which turns out to
:
00:55:02,841 --> 00:55:04,581
be a spot where she's hiding a ton of
:
00:55:04,836 --> 00:55:10,236
glo: So, second time that we
have seen something stashed at a
:
00:55:10,236 --> 00:55:15,876
gravestone, uh, in this podcast,
because, do you guys remember, do you
:
00:55:15,876 --> 00:55:18,936
remember, um, on Airwolf where they,
:
00:55:19,356 --> 00:55:20,256
mabel: do
:
00:55:20,496 --> 00:55:21,726
glo: the drugs or whatever.
:
00:55:22,671 --> 00:55:26,841
Yeah, on that island where it
was like, definitely in Canada,
:
00:55:26,841 --> 00:55:29,871
but definitely they were trying
to make it look like California.
:
00:55:31,581 --> 00:55:32,301
elaines money: Yup.
:
00:55:32,541 --> 00:55:32,891
mabel: Uhhuh.
:
00:55:33,021 --> 00:55:33,891
elaines money: Oh yeah, I do.
:
00:55:34,731 --> 00:55:39,771
I wanna point out that that show
aired in like 85 and they handled
:
00:55:39,831 --> 00:55:46,251
their Native American storyline
significantly better than Uncle Ray was
:
00:55:46,431 --> 00:55:50,391
ever like, with way more respect than
Uncle Ray was ever given in the show.
:
00:55:50,736 --> 00:55:51,876
mabel: that we've seen for sure.
:
00:55:51,876 --> 00:55:53,046
I'll, I'll give them some credit.
:
00:55:53,046 --> 00:55:57,066
Maybe there's somewhere in here that gets
better that we don't know about, but yeah,
:
00:55:57,416 --> 00:55:57,766
elaines money: maybe.
:
00:55:58,736 --> 00:55:59,086
Maybe.
:
00:55:59,676 --> 00:56:01,626
mabel: it seems, seems unlikely.
:
00:56:02,781 --> 00:56:03,591
elaines money: Yeah.
:
00:56:04,281 --> 00:56:08,091
But yeah, so, um, it's a hiding
spot for like a shit ton of money.
:
00:56:08,721 --> 00:56:16,641
And uh, cool shirt guy then rolls up
and um, his name is Larry and he's not
:
00:56:16,641 --> 00:56:19,221
her husband and he's not her protector.
:
00:56:19,521 --> 00:56:22,191
He is in fact Rickett's accountant.
:
00:56:22,551 --> 00:56:25,581
And he was aware that Elaine
was skimming off the top.
:
00:56:26,411 --> 00:56:26,701
mabel: yeah,
:
00:56:26,871 --> 00:56:27,801
glo: he wants his cut.
:
00:56:28,941 --> 00:56:31,101
elaines money: Yeah, daddy wants his cut.
:
00:56:31,971 --> 00:56:38,391
Um, and instead of giving daddy his
cut, Elaine just throws the best
:
00:56:38,391 --> 00:56:40,551
right hook and knocks this man out.
:
00:56:40,746 --> 00:56:41,406
mabel: yeah.
:
00:56:42,321 --> 00:56:43,581
elaines money: We love Elaine.
:
00:56:44,271 --> 00:56:44,571
Yes, I.
:
00:56:46,026 --> 00:56:50,046
Um, and then she's all
like, ha ha ha, and thinks.
:
00:56:50,106 --> 00:56:50,946
mabel: Dolly, where
:
00:56:51,186 --> 00:56:51,396
elaines money: I know.
:
00:56:51,726 --> 00:56:51,906
mabel: the cage,
:
00:56:53,916 --> 00:56:54,276
like
:
00:56:54,411 --> 00:56:54,911
elaines money: so good.
:
00:56:54,966 --> 00:56:55,641
mabel: picture a
:
00:56:55,716 --> 00:56:57,066
elaines money: tall as her,
:
00:56:57,276 --> 00:57:02,226
mabel: Ray Romano's mom with a giant
dolly that has just one box of cash
:
00:57:02,226 --> 00:57:08,646
at the bottom, scuttling as fast as
she can in her little, little sixties,
:
00:57:08,646 --> 00:57:11,316
lady flats, you know, nice flats.
:
00:57:11,376 --> 00:57:17,196
Back to the the car, the truck that
she stole, and then boom, Walker,
:
00:57:17,196 --> 00:57:18,996
Texas Rangers sitting there waiting.
:
00:57:19,176 --> 00:57:19,626
Damnit.
:
00:57:19,686 --> 00:57:19,926
elaines money: Yeah.
:
00:57:21,816 --> 00:57:27,546
Um, and he's all like, why did
you tell us your husband was dead?
:
00:57:27,786 --> 00:57:31,926
And she, uh, and it turns out that
they were going to leave for Florida.
:
00:57:32,316 --> 00:57:37,116
Uh, but four years ago, her
and Irving and, um, Irving
:
00:57:38,346 --> 00:57:39,906
left her for another woman.
:
00:57:39,956 --> 00:57:40,376
glo: Mm-hmm.
:
00:57:40,926 --> 00:57:45,126
elaines money: At this point I will be
putting in a drop from, he had it come in.
:
00:57:45,126 --> 00:57:47,226
'cause I believe one of
those husband's names was
:
00:57:47,391 --> 00:57:48,501
glo: You are correct.
:
00:57:49,326 --> 00:57:49,806
elaines money: yes.
:
00:57:51,246 --> 00:57:58,296
Um, and uh, yeah, so, and she told
everyone he was dead because it's
:
00:57:58,296 --> 00:58:04,476
less embarrassing for her, um,
that way, which is, you know, fair.
:
00:58:04,506 --> 00:58:08,256
'cause he is in a way dead
'cause he's dead to her.
:
00:58:08,781 --> 00:58:09,201
mabel: Yep.
:
00:58:10,116 --> 00:58:15,246
elaines money: Uh, but yeah, so Walker
grabs her and takes her to court 'cause
:
00:58:15,696 --> 00:58:19,476
this has all been happening in like
the space of a couple of hours I guess.
:
00:58:19,476 --> 00:58:23,196
'cause they're all still waiting for
them in the courtroom, which is my
:
00:58:23,301 --> 00:58:23,601
mabel: tick.
:
00:58:23,901 --> 00:58:25,401
It's almost five.
:
00:58:25,401 --> 00:58:30,201
We need to go home and see our families
and children and we're still waiting
:
00:58:30,201 --> 00:58:32,301
on this walker, Texas dip shit.
:
00:58:32,301 --> 00:58:32,841
Like
:
00:58:34,056 --> 00:58:36,816
elaines money: Walker Texas Dip
Shit is the name of the episode.
:
00:58:37,146 --> 00:58:37,656
That's it.
:
00:58:37,776 --> 00:58:39,276
That's calling it right now.
:
00:58:39,741 --> 00:58:42,021
glo: Laura, you're on
fire tonight, by the way.
:
00:58:42,396 --> 00:58:43,626
elaines money: You really are.
:
00:58:43,746 --> 00:58:44,616
You are on.
:
00:58:45,111 --> 00:58:47,601
mabel: I need a ice cream
rose combo every time.
:
00:58:47,601 --> 00:58:47,991
I think.
:
00:58:47,991 --> 00:58:48,501
Yeah.
:
00:58:48,906 --> 00:58:49,356
elaines money: Yes.
:
00:58:49,356 --> 00:58:51,966
Everyone needs ice
cream rose at all times.
:
00:58:51,966 --> 00:58:52,491
That's great.
:
00:58:53,556 --> 00:58:55,746
Um, but yeah.
:
00:58:55,746 --> 00:58:59,376
And so the judge was like, you have,
you have till five to produce this
:
00:58:59,376 --> 00:59:01,176
witness to the, to the prosecutor.
:
00:59:01,986 --> 00:59:11,616
And um, so Walker grabs a lane and takes
her to San an Antonio via helicopter.
:
00:59:13,026 --> 00:59:17,796
They land, they get to the courtroom right
as the judge is about to pound his gavel.
:
00:59:17,826 --> 00:59:21,396
'cause if, if this show is
nothing, it is dramatic.
:
00:59:22,086 --> 00:59:22,596
Um.
:
00:59:24,636 --> 00:59:32,916
And then, uh, rickets sees her and
books it out the door and Chuck Norris
:
00:59:35,436 --> 00:59:37,206
jumps on top a limo,
:
00:59:37,701 --> 00:59:37,921
mabel: uh.
:
00:59:38,646 --> 00:59:38,976
glo: Yep.
:
00:59:39,816 --> 00:59:41,556
elaines money: which
causes it to crash somehow.
:
00:59:42,096 --> 00:59:47,676
And, uh, then he, you know,
catches ricket after a foot
:
00:59:47,676 --> 00:59:49,806
chase and some karate because of
:
00:59:49,956 --> 00:59:50,496
glo: After.
:
00:59:50,556 --> 00:59:51,876
mabel: Fist fight in a market.
:
00:59:52,126 --> 00:59:56,616
glo: After small businesses are just
demolished and there is a pinata fight.
:
00:59:57,726 --> 00:59:58,691
elaines money: there's a pinata fight.
:
00:59:59,471 --> 01:00:07,506
Um, and then a slow mo roundhouse
kick to the chest into a fountain.
:
01:00:09,246 --> 01:00:13,986
Um, and we end in CD's bar
where Walker can't even lose it.
:
01:00:13,986 --> 01:00:14,526
Pool.
:
01:00:15,396 --> 01:00:19,686
And, uh, then we see Elaine.
:
01:00:20,631 --> 01:00:28,581
Has sold the rights to her story
so that it can be made into a movie
:
01:00:29,091 --> 01:00:33,681
called The Big Bingo Bamboozle.
:
01:00:34,431 --> 01:00:35,421
mabel: Yeah.
:
01:00:35,511 --> 01:00:38,091
So there, there's the
title of the episode.
:
01:00:38,091 --> 01:00:39,951
We're gonna hit it in the last moment.
:
01:00:40,191 --> 01:00:40,881
Brilliant.
:
01:00:41,871 --> 01:00:45,741
elaines money: I'm gonna drop in
cinema sins, rural credits right here.
:
01:00:46,431 --> 01:00:52,191
Um, and then Elaine is being interviewed
on this talk show and, uh, says
:
01:00:52,191 --> 01:00:54,981
that both CD and Walker want her
:
01:00:55,116 --> 01:00:55,626
glo: Yep.
:
01:00:55,626 --> 01:00:57,636
Mm-hmm.
:
01:00:58,266 --> 01:00:58,626
Yep.
:
01:00:59,601 --> 01:01:03,801
elaines money: Um, and she's
saving those details for her book.
:
01:01:04,131 --> 01:01:06,291
And I'm kind of mad
this book doesn't exist.
:
01:01:07,851 --> 01:01:09,141
mabel: Yeah, I do.
:
01:01:09,426 --> 01:01:10,656
glo: book club for sure.
:
01:01:11,541 --> 01:01:11,841
elaines money: Oh my
:
01:01:11,841 --> 01:01:13,311
mabel: I love how they're doing.
:
01:01:13,311 --> 01:01:18,141
Like she says something on TV and then
Walker and CD Go movie, and then she
:
01:01:18,141 --> 01:01:20,391
says something else and then Go book.
:
01:01:20,631 --> 01:01:23,271
I was like, yeah, this is good.
:
01:01:23,271 --> 01:01:24,711
This is, this is the writing.
:
01:01:24,711 --> 01:01:25,581
I came here for.
:
01:01:25,656 --> 01:01:25,926
glo: Yep.
:
01:01:26,061 --> 01:01:26,631
elaines money: I know.
:
01:01:27,981 --> 01:01:32,481
And she says, yeah, I have
two rangers, uh, all about me.
:
01:01:32,481 --> 01:01:33,706
And they're both like, what?
:
01:01:34,911 --> 01:01:35,661
Like cd.
:
01:01:35,661 --> 01:01:37,791
We saw you fanning yourself with your hat.
:
01:01:37,881 --> 01:01:39,021
Don't even
:
01:01:39,306 --> 01:01:39,696
mabel: yeah.
:
01:01:39,726 --> 01:01:39,966
Yeah.
:
01:01:39,966 --> 01:01:43,746
She's taken a little creative license
with the whole Walker thing, but,
:
01:01:43,776 --> 01:01:46,176
uh, CD was hook, line and sinker.
:
01:01:46,176 --> 01:01:47,376
He was sold, buddy.
:
01:01:47,931 --> 01:01:48,381
elaines money: Yeah.
:
01:01:48,741 --> 01:01:51,561
Seedy be so fucking for
real right now, dude.
:
01:01:51,771 --> 01:01:56,181
Like you wanted her, we saw
:
01:01:56,376 --> 01:01:57,006
mabel: we did.
:
01:01:59,736 --> 01:02:00,486
Okay.
:
01:02:00,486 --> 01:02:00,751
We did it.
:
01:02:01,026 --> 01:02:01,926
glo: we did it.
:
01:02:04,116 --> 01:02:05,736
You guys wanna play a little game with me
:
01:02:06,741 --> 01:02:07,251
elaines money: Sure.
:
01:02:07,416 --> 01:02:07,656
glo: called?
:
01:02:07,656 --> 01:02:08,496
Good, better, best.
:
01:02:09,261 --> 01:02:09,471
elaines money: Yeah.
:
01:02:09,471 --> 01:02:10,431
I think we could play that.
:
01:02:10,656 --> 01:02:12,036
glo: Laura gets to start this time.
:
01:02:12,816 --> 01:02:13,716
mabel: Oh, no.
:
01:02:13,806 --> 01:02:14,076
glo: do.
:
01:02:14,346 --> 01:02:14,526
It'll
:
01:02:14,916 --> 01:02:15,906
mabel: Didn't I start last time?
:
01:02:16,056 --> 01:02:16,176
glo: you?
:
01:02:16,206 --> 01:02:16,536
Did you?
:
01:02:16,761 --> 01:02:17,991
elaines money: She, she did?
:
01:02:18,051 --> 01:02:18,441
Yeah.
:
01:02:18,516 --> 01:02:18,996
glo: this time.
:
01:02:20,451 --> 01:02:20,781
elaines money: Okay.
:
01:02:21,351 --> 01:02:28,131
Wouldn't it be good if they finally
realized that their racist tap
:
01:02:28,131 --> 01:02:34,671
Cherokee storyline was bullshit and
they kind of just stopped doing it?
:
01:02:36,951 --> 01:02:37,431
That's it.
:
01:02:37,431 --> 01:02:38,301
That's, that's that.
:
01:02:38,301 --> 01:02:38,961
Wouldn't that be good?
:
01:02:40,431 --> 01:02:45,111
glo: Okay, so I, it'll be a little
pause 'cause I have to write it down.
:
01:02:46,221 --> 01:02:46,761
elaines money: Oh, shit.
:
01:02:47,241 --> 01:02:48,366
mabel: Who's the better on this
:
01:02:48,381 --> 01:02:49,371
glo: That would be me.
:
01:02:49,701 --> 01:02:53,871
So wouldn't it be good
or wouldn't it be better?
:
01:02:53,901 --> 01:02:58,521
So it was very good that there
was a racist storyline that was
:
01:02:58,521 --> 01:03:00,921
stopped because it was racist.
:
01:03:00,921 --> 01:03:05,991
But wouldn't it be better if we
looked into it and we actually saw
:
01:03:05,991 --> 01:03:13,551
that there were indeed protests of
the show by First Nations protestors.
:
01:03:15,726 --> 01:03:16,146
elaines money: Mm-hmm.
:
01:03:16,236 --> 01:03:17,016
mabel: that would be better.
:
01:03:17,736 --> 01:03:23,406
But wouldn't it be best if we actually
had like a reckoning where Walker,
:
01:03:23,406 --> 01:03:31,116
Texas Ranger has to go to a nation
and meets like his own counterpart
:
01:03:31,116 --> 01:03:35,976
at their law enforcement and realizes
that person is way cooler than him?
:
01:03:37,616 --> 01:03:37,836
elaines money: Yes,
:
01:03:37,911 --> 01:03:39,231
glo: I love that.
:
01:03:39,886 --> 01:03:40,726
elaines money: I would love that.
:
01:03:40,851 --> 01:03:41,091
mabel: Yeah.
:
01:03:41,276 --> 01:03:41,566
elaines money: Okay.
:
01:03:44,301 --> 01:03:45,561
glo: Okay, cool.
:
01:03:46,101 --> 01:03:51,591
Um, so next will be Laura Beth Glow.
:
01:03:53,011 --> 01:03:53,301
mabel: Okay.
:
01:03:55,446 --> 01:04:02,016
Wouldn't it be good if at some point
on this show we get Walker, Texas
:
01:04:02,016 --> 01:04:06,546
Ranger has to go to New York City?
:
01:04:09,726 --> 01:04:11,196
you got the reference on
:
01:04:11,306 --> 01:04:11,526
glo: No.
:
01:04:11,586 --> 01:04:14,526
mabel: Can you drop it in
there too, like afterwards?
:
01:04:14,556 --> 01:04:14,916
Okay.
:
01:04:19,746 --> 01:04:22,266
glo: Okay, so we're
going to New York City.
:
01:04:22,476 --> 01:04:22,956
All right.
:
01:04:23,151 --> 01:04:23,811
elaines money: Okay.
:
01:04:24,531 --> 01:04:26,511
Uh, that's good.
:
01:04:26,781 --> 01:04:32,301
But wouldn't it be better if
Walker somehow got roped into
:
01:04:32,811 --> 01:04:39,201
being the naked roped, uh, being
the naked cowboy in Times Square?
:
01:04:40,315 --> 01:04:40,795
glo: Okay.
:
01:04:41,835 --> 01:04:42,125
mabel: Yeah.
:
01:04:43,045 --> 01:04:50,245
glo: So it would be good if there was
a NYC episode and much better if Walker
:
01:04:50,245 --> 01:04:52,945
was roped into being the naked cowboy.
:
01:04:53,785 --> 01:05:02,245
But wouldn't it be best if Trave
was actually the one who was roped
:
01:05:02,245 --> 01:05:04,015
into being the naked cowboy and
:
01:05:04,295 --> 01:05:04,875
mabel: Um, yes.
:
01:05:04,975 --> 01:05:06,175
glo: rules at it?
:
01:05:07,600 --> 01:05:09,310
mabel: Yeah, no, that would be the best.
:
01:05:09,310 --> 01:05:09,940
You're right.
:
01:05:10,525 --> 01:05:11,635
elaines money: That'd be great.
:
01:05:11,755 --> 01:05:12,654
I'd love that.
:
01:05:13,540 --> 01:05:16,210
mabel: Also Travet is very
at home in New York City.
:
01:05:16,450 --> 01:05:16,900
Like
:
01:05:16,945 --> 01:05:17,395
elaines money: Yeah.
:
01:05:17,590 --> 01:05:19,000
mabel: he's so cool about it.
:
01:05:19,495 --> 01:05:20,275
glo: totally.
:
01:05:20,740 --> 01:05:24,820
mabel: Like Walker, Texas Ranger is
doing his fish out of water business.
:
01:05:24,820 --> 01:05:27,070
But trave is just like so cool.
:
01:05:27,310 --> 01:05:27,730
glo: Mm-hmm.
:
01:05:28,850 --> 01:05:32,815
elaines money: T's going to the
catsuit place, like he knows what's up.
:
01:05:33,775 --> 01:05:35,695
glo: Alright guys, so here's mine.
:
01:05:36,115 --> 01:05:43,555
Wouldn't it be good if we had an episode
where Walker became an actual cowboy?
:
01:05:43,825 --> 01:05:46,615
So we see him actually wrangling cattle.
:
01:05:51,505 --> 01:05:52,855
Uh, this would be Laura next.
:
01:05:52,860 --> 01:05:53,230
Mm-hmm.
:
01:05:54,550 --> 01:05:54,940
mabel: Oh, is it?
:
01:05:54,970 --> 01:05:55,000
Okay.
:
01:05:57,805 --> 01:06:02,455
That would be good if we have
to see Walker, Texas Ranger
:
01:06:02,455 --> 01:06:07,525
do actual cattle skills and
wrangling and roping the cattles.
:
01:06:07,795 --> 01:06:12,895
I think it would be better though, if he
like falls off his horse at some point.
:
01:06:14,610 --> 01:06:14,830
glo: Yes.
:
01:06:16,825 --> 01:06:19,225
elaines money: Okay, that's better.
:
01:06:19,225 --> 01:06:24,445
But wouldn't it be best if he
falls off his horse in the middle
:
01:06:24,445 --> 01:06:27,415
of the night a wolf sees him?
:
01:06:27,865 --> 01:06:29,904
He tries to, he tries to
make friends with the wolf.
:
01:06:29,904 --> 01:06:31,375
'cause they're both lone wolves, right?
:
01:06:32,695 --> 01:06:33,925
The wolf bites him.
:
01:06:35,980 --> 01:06:38,529
We get werewolf.
:
01:06:38,770 --> 01:06:39,880
Texas Ranger.
:
01:06:40,225 --> 01:06:40,915
glo: Yes.
:
01:06:40,915 --> 01:06:41,485
I love it.
:
01:06:41,485 --> 01:06:42,775
I love it so much.
:
01:06:43,495 --> 01:06:43,915
mabel: Yeah.
:
01:06:44,000 --> 01:06:47,365
I think we can option this into
some kind of series actually.
:
01:06:47,440 --> 01:06:47,830
elaines money: can.
:
01:06:47,980 --> 01:06:48,490
Yeah.
:
01:06:48,580 --> 01:06:52,300
Also played by Jared Padalecki,
who plays Walker in the reboot.
:
01:06:52,300 --> 01:07:00,010
glo: So, so guys, we just need to wait for
the patent to come off of, or whatever.
:
01:07:00,070 --> 01:07:01,630
Come off of Walker, Texas.
:
01:07:01,630 --> 01:07:02,980
Ranger in like a hundred years.
:
01:07:03,160 --> 01:07:04,720
We have to live this long guys.
:
01:07:05,200 --> 01:07:08,170
And then we need to make
werewolf Texas Ranger.
:
01:07:09,415 --> 01:07:10,105
mabel: Yeah, yeah.
:
01:07:10,165 --> 01:07:11,635
Or pass this down to our children.
:
01:07:11,640 --> 01:07:16,390
This is our children's legacy where they
reboot Walker, Texas Ranger as a werewolf.
:
01:07:16,720 --> 01:07:18,430
glo: This is your burden now, children.
:
01:07:19,420 --> 01:07:19,690
elaines money: Yes.
:
01:07:19,695 --> 01:07:21,904
Henry, come talk to mother.
:
01:07:25,720 --> 01:07:29,710
so I can't remember which of
y'all did the swirly last time.
:
01:07:29,740 --> 01:07:30,380
mabel: think it was me.
:
01:07:30,550 --> 01:07:30,970
glo: was
:
01:07:31,475 --> 01:07:33,130
elaines money: Okay, so Glow.
:
01:07:33,490 --> 01:07:34,120
glo: ri time.
:
01:07:35,050 --> 01:07:36,100
elaines money: swirly time.
:
01:07:36,190 --> 01:07:38,710
Tell me when you want
me to stop your swirly.
:
01:07:39,520 --> 01:07:41,860
glo: Swirl, swirl, swirl, swirl, swirl.
:
01:07:41,860 --> 01:07:42,400
Stop.
:
01:07:44,680 --> 01:07:48,730
elaines money: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6.
:
01:07:50,320 --> 01:07:56,205
Okay, So we're gonna do 12, is that right?
:
01:07:56,535 --> 01:07:57,045
Yeah, that's right.
:
01:07:57,045 --> 01:07:58,095
12 episodes.
:
01:07:58,995 --> 01:07:59,925
Skipping 12 episodes.
:
01:08:01,035 --> 01:08:01,545
glo: All right.
:
01:08:01,545 --> 01:08:02,445
Who has it pulled up?
:
01:08:03,765 --> 01:08:04,425
mabel: Oh shit.
:
01:08:04,725 --> 01:08:06,675
elaines money: I think I do actually.
:
01:08:06,705 --> 01:08:07,065
mabel: Okay.
:
01:08:08,309 --> 01:08:09,749
elaines money: I don't know
what this whole music is.
:
01:08:09,749 --> 01:08:10,769
I'm very sorry.
:
01:08:11,609 --> 01:08:12,329
Uh,
:
01:08:12,359 --> 01:08:15,779
mabel: As long as it's not the Walker,
Texas Ranger theme, I do not give a shit.
:
01:08:16,049 --> 01:08:17,459
Give me all your hold music.
:
01:08:18,029 --> 01:08:22,439
elaines money: you know, I remember
tunes for the most part, but I
:
01:08:22,439 --> 01:08:25,679
think I blocked that one out like
immediately after hearing it.
:
01:08:27,269 --> 01:08:32,429
Okay, so 12, 13.
:
01:08:32,969 --> 01:08:45,149
Okay, so 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12.
:
01:08:45,238 --> 01:08:54,509
Okay, so if I did this correctly, um, we
will be watching season four, episode two.
:
01:08:55,474 --> 01:08:56,524
Deep kava.
:
01:08:57,874 --> 01:08:58,524
glo: Deep come.
:
01:09:00,538 --> 01:09:00,809
mabel: yeah.
:
01:09:00,809 --> 01:09:02,459
You didn't say that, did you?
:
01:09:03,354 --> 01:09:05,309
elaines money: I said deep cover.
:
01:09:06,299 --> 01:09:08,234
This is not another drive by Cooning.
:
01:09:09,453 --> 01:09:09,743
glo: This.
:
01:09:10,679 --> 01:09:11,639
mabel: I was like, whoa.
:
01:09:11,639 --> 01:09:14,969
We went to Texas Ranger Knights
really quick, didn't we?
:
01:09:15,734 --> 01:09:17,474
elaines money: I think
I am on the wrong page.
:
01:09:17,474 --> 01:09:19,394
I think I'm on Winker, Texas Ranger.
:
01:09:19,754 --> 01:09:20,174
Um,
:
01:09:22,738 --> 01:09:23,339
mabel: God damnit.
:
01:09:23,339 --> 01:09:23,849
That's good.
:
01:09:23,908 --> 01:09:24,719
glo: is good too.
:
01:09:26,189 --> 01:09:27,443
mabel: That's really good, Beth.
:
01:09:29,769 --> 01:09:30,279
elaines money: Thank you.
:
01:09:30,434 --> 01:09:30,654
glo: Wow.
:
01:09:32,474 --> 01:09:35,413
elaines money: Uh, do you guys
wanna hear a synapsis of deep cover?
:
01:09:35,524 --> 01:09:35,964
glo: Absolutely.
:
01:09:35,984 --> 01:09:36,203
We
:
01:09:36,224 --> 01:09:36,794
mabel: sure do.
:
01:09:36,943 --> 01:09:37,234
Yeah.
:
01:09:37,424 --> 01:09:37,714
Yeah.
:
01:09:38,413 --> 01:09:38,624
elaines money: Okay.
:
01:09:38,984 --> 01:09:44,294
An undercover detective in
Miami is captured by drug
:
01:09:44,294 --> 01:09:46,814
dealers when her cover is blown.
:
01:09:46,904 --> 01:09:51,434
Miami Police ask Texas Rangers
to help by going undercover as
:
01:09:51,434 --> 01:09:53,234
out of town dealers looking for
:
01:09:53,374 --> 01:09:53,794
glo: stupid.
:
01:09:55,739 --> 01:09:57,239
mabel: That is a terrible idea.
:
01:09:57,239 --> 01:09:58,469
That is a terrible idea.
:
01:09:58,469 --> 01:10:00,689
But we're getting my Fish
out of water episode.
:
01:10:00,689 --> 01:10:01,139
They're going to
:
01:10:01,274 --> 01:10:01,334
elaines money: We're.
:
01:10:01,674 --> 01:10:03,854
glo: are woo.
:
01:10:03,884 --> 01:10:05,624
elaines money: is super exciting.
:
01:10:06,134 --> 01:10:06,704
Um,
:
01:10:06,719 --> 01:10:09,659
mabel: This could be as
good as New York City like.
:
01:10:10,244 --> 01:10:10,634
elaines money: Yeah.
:
01:10:10,693 --> 01:10:13,244
I'm pretty excited to see Chuck Norris.
:
01:10:13,244 --> 01:10:15,494
Pretend to be a drug dealer.
:
01:10:16,034 --> 01:10:22,604
mabel: I need there to be some like
sassy Cuban lady who takes us down a peg.
:
01:10:22,604 --> 01:10:23,443
I would love that.
:
01:10:24,154 --> 01:10:25,774
elaines money: Um, yes.
:
01:10:25,834 --> 01:10:27,534
I'm very excited for this episode.
:
01:10:27,584 --> 01:10:30,014
Hopefully it's not
complete trash, but it will
:
01:10:30,139 --> 01:10:30,989
mabel: Fingers crossed
:
01:10:31,318 --> 01:10:32,129
glo: all right guys.
:
01:10:33,099 --> 01:10:33,389
elaines money: Okay.
:
01:10:33,739 --> 01:10:34,349
Goodnight.
:
01:10:34,349 --> 01:10:34,889
glo: friends.
:
01:10:35,009 --> 01:10:35,079
mabel: you next.